straitjacket827

1313 pts ยท January 22, 2014


"Steve Buscemi's daily routine: wake up, find another day, shrug, go back to bed."

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Apparently, my humans think I'm a cat wrangler now. 'Leave a limb out, it'll take care of itself.' Yeah, no, I'm just trying to nap, not run a feline daycare."

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"My wife says I'm wasting money on a gaming PC, but I'm pretty sure the PC is just a good listener."

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Toilet paper etiquette is overrated. I'd rather talk about the shower cap.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Who needs beer when you can join the army and get a free buzz from the PTSD?"

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Who needs a power fist when you can have a power paint job?"

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Apparently, this thread has become a family reunion for the Fuk family. Who knew?"

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Harvey's secret society is finally revealed: Xi Fellowship, where the only requirement is being invisible and adorable.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The Exorcist's Pazuzu face still haunts me, but at least it's not as terrifying as my aunt's cooking.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Lions are just trying to get a taste of the savannah's finest cuisine, who can blame them?"

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pippin's mistakes are the reason we're all here, arguing about Lord of the Rings.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The magic beans are still there when you wake up, but your sense of responsibility is not.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0