uweapon

1042 pts · September 8, 2016


That's why I only trust Myers Brand leaded D+ cell batteries. "The more pounds for your pound battery since 1904."

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hello. I am Doctor Sbaitso.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Daria is the same age as I am and it explains a lot

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same thing happened here. It went from BK to Papa John's to cricket mobile to pot shop.

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Being a hawk must be so awesome. Talons. Flight. War cry. Heck yeah.

2 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Airplane ears. She gonna eat ya.

2 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

And?!

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm more of a "nazi punks fuck off" kind of guy but I can groove to this.

4 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I'm heading to early dementia anyway. Might as well go fix fukoshima with the old dudes.

6 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I lived across the street from a church and graveyard. The only bad part was the speakers that played the church bells were totally blown out.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

These cows are small. Those cows are far away.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Look at me I'm a human I go to work and have anxiety

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Milkfat doesn't count as saturated fat anymore so you can have whole chocolate milk with your morning pizza.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You might have to settle for snapping the strap and saying it ain't going nowhere. That's like bro retirement.

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bocce?

8 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Why are they painting so many vulvas? Is this a rosharch test?

9 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Dentists don't have sinks anymore and I hate it.

9 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Someone at my old job found out that meeting requests weren't archived for FOIA and that sensitive material could be contained. We had to switch email providers for 5,000 users.

9 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Eat AT...

10 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm an elder millennial and bought a house in my 20s. I was approved for WAY more than I could have handled. Thankfully I bought a cheap place but I had to eat my parent's for years and I sold it 14 years later for $500 less than I paid.

Others weren't so lucky, over bought, and defaulted because someone thought it was a good idea to loan them nearly ten times their salary.

10 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It sounds like you've met a farm girl or two.

10 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I got hotel and just assumed it was the name of a Welsh town

11 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ours is called Busy Beaver

1 year ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And no bees!

1 year ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Take me home mountain daddy

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

My girlfriend told me to put a sock on my hand to play with the cat. Then the cat constantly attacked my feet.

1 year ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Stella wasn't sure 😭

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Silicosis? Safety third.

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I ripped a toenail off on a water slide

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0