virtucon

418 pts ยท August 24, 2011


I'm a lurker. I like cats and turtles.

Need bits of Styrofoam all over your goddamned floor? Cut a noodle to try one of these hacks.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As a stay at home mom, looking for non-restaurant employment, THANK YOU!!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My username is finally relevant! (kinda)!!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a good not. Not a-maize-ing, but good.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

and then sometimes, they are little shits.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

IT'S SO SHINY!!! :-)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ughhhh vomit customers are the worst!!! Lady told me her son spilled a drink...nope...puke...and her table was next to the bathroom.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It usually separates syllables in a name....I have seen "Jac'quez" and "Sa'mantha"

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

also, skip any accent marks or "for the hell of it" apostrophes....

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Oh my goodness! So sorry for your loss!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nap time is a little slice of heaven!

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

You know that feeling you get when you watch Bob Ross paint? Yeah, just got that warm fuzzy feeling....good job, op!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This bed gets a lot of pussy

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Panera customers are bad too..."Can't I get a sandwich and salad?" NO

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OP, take some Mucinex quick!!! (regular, NOT DM). Source--I have 2 clomid babies...Mucinex helps!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

There was a morbidly obese lady on there who said, "They key to weight loss is portion control"....then she ate an entire rotisserie chicken

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ditto. I had to supplement for both of my kids (2 and 2 months). I still feel the guilt on a daily basis.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

when i bought a gallon of milk, and already had one in the fridge....punch bowls of cereal for everyone!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I work in a restaurant, some lady took a poop and then came out to complain that the bathroom smelled.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hang on, lemme add this to the cool stuff I'll never attempt list

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Heeeeeeeere's DOGGIE!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is THE BEST throwback calendar I've ever seen. Thank you for the entertainment!

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

These were the centerpieces at my dad's airplane themed wedding. :/

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

PSA: if you park next to me and you're so close I can't get my infant in her car seat, you're a dick.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am having the shittiest day, and this just legit made me laugh. Thanks.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's named after the sound popcorn makes?

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

aaaaaand I need to change my pants now.....

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I immediately wondered how long it had been in the safety danger zone!

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

excuse me sir, i believe your cat is stuck inside your vacuum.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It happened to me!! That was about 5 years ago....Met my hubby on craigslist and we've been happily married for 3 years.. Don't give up !

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0