MooLord
469539
9884
234
MRW, as an Italian, The recipe I'm cooking calls for the amount of garlic I was going to use anyway.
MRW, as an Italian, the recipe I'm cooking does not call for garlic
My wife's reaction when I, as an Italian, am adding garlic to the recipe.
MRW, as an Italian, my wife tells me, "That is enough, Damn it!"
My family's reaction when I, as an Italian, just keep adding garlic to the recipe.
fricklenani
I'm not Italian, but I fucking love garlic.
RenegadeTQ
I'm just a regular Americano white guy but I love the heck out of garlic.
mordrul
As an American, I typically use no less than 3 times the amount of cloves called for.
jeffreybaratheon
Yeah I never understabd when a recipe says "1-2 cloves", you can't even taste it when there's that little.
eeeeeagle
Garlic is always the answer, ALWAYS. It makes everything delicious.
maverickquasar
As an English gent, absolutely. 2 cloves is pointless, chuck in 5-6 now we talkin'
IntelligentHippo
you're doing the god's work my friend
Whitetiger7654
A clove is like the little bundle right?
mordrul
Nope, it's the little pieces you pull off the clove. I made that mistake when I made my first homemade salad dressing. 2-3 cloves...
mordrul
That first bowl of salad knocked me right on my ass. FWIW: 3 heads of garlic is EXTREMELY spicy. I then went and learned what a clove is.
Reg06
No, that's a head. A clove is just one of those little pointy oval pieces.
CamoSpiderMan
As an American, I typically use no less than 3 times the amount of bacon called for.
mordrul
Well that's what you're supposed to do anyway, isn't it?
KingDerby
Same here. Then I went out with someone who hates the stuff. 14 months without the garlic. :(
mordrul
Oh, wow. I would be questioning that relationship...
jimicos
Plot twist: @mordrul never cooks anything that calls for garlic. 0 x 3 = 0.
mordrul
Well, some recipes just wouldn't be appropriate for it. Like, say, Cream of Wheat. Otherwise I default 0 to mean 1 (x3).
MooLord
Polenta is usually served as a savory side in Northern Italian cuisine. I see no reason why we couldn't make a savory oatmeal or C.O.W.
mordrul
Well, I'd give it a shot.
Leithoa
If you use elephant garlic 2-3 cloves is about right. http://inetgardens.com/Images/e/ElephantGarlicBulb.jpg
mordrul
Apparently that site does not allow direct links to their images. At any rate, I don't think I have access to it anyway.
Leithoa
works for me. *shrug* maybe there's some wierd country block going on?
mordrul
In these days of lawyers going rabidly stupid, that seems very probable...
StabbyMcMurder
Probably. It tells me that its blocked which makes no sense. Its just a picture of garlic, right.
Leithoa
Yeah, Elephant garlic. Each clove is the size of a normal bulb
MykillMetal
As an American, I have no idea what a 'clove' is or why it goes anywhere except inside an expensive cigarette...
mordrul
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/clove Because English is a wonderfully twisted mishmash of other languages. :P
itsokayyoucanlaugh
The Picard one got me.
AMediocreSubstituteForDave
Yeah. That got the +1
casualmanatee
I feel like that's not just an Italian thing.
WhitneyHoustonWeHaveAProblem
MFW I, a non-Italian, start to sauté freshly chopped garlic:
sausageseeker
My cooking motto is "if in doubt, get the garlic out". I'm in doubt a lot.
DarthTurducken
MRW when reading an Italian recipe that does not call for garlic
smashpro1
There's no such thing as too much garlic.
frosss
Was OP born in Italy?
MooLord
No. OP is from NV. OP's family is from Naples.
frosss
So OP is an American?
MooLord
Yup. I learned from doing this post that most Europeans don't like it when we Americans express our heritage. We don't care. I'm an Italian.
Adam821
Directions unclear, killed a vampire.
MooLord
Directions worked perfectly. Good job.
Adam821
TIL Italians never have to worry about vampires.
ascender423
I, as an Italian, am wondering if you are Italian
MooLord
Understandable. I live in NV, and only know Italian cooking through my mother's family. Grandparents were from Naples, food always had it.
ascender423
I'm one generation removed from the boat. I don't follow any recipe recommendations for garlic
ForestLibrarian
As an Italian, yes. You can never have too much garlic.
CthulhusGreasyBallsack
as an american, what is "A recipe without garlic"?
MooLord
It was diet food, and a curry at that. As I was reading the recipe, I felt like I had that guy's expression. Thus the idea for this post.
testingmyban
my reaction as a vampire http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/crying-waterfalls.gif
Klingon00
tiagod
As somebody who lives in Italy (but is not italian), they are very touchy if you add garlic when you're not supposed to.
MooLord
I'll bet that's true. I live in Nevada; we care a lot less here.
tiagod
There's actually a famous chef here, Carlo Cracco who made a recipe of a famous roman dish, l'amatriciana and added garlic to it. (1/2)
tiagod
After he released that recipe, the commune of Amatrice issued a statement that his recipe cannot hold the name of "amatriciana".
frogglesmash
How many lives has your breath taken?
Walflouer
No human casualties as of yet, but the vampire population in OP's neighborhood is down to -150%.
MooLord
As an Italian, I have woken two coma patients simply by whispering in their ear.
Joni11101
In... the ear? but the ear can smell... oh god
legallyabinder
You, I like you.
usernaimunavailable
I'm Scottish but I add garlic to almost everything. It's really good for you and tastes friggin great
here2laugh
I can hear you accent.
usernaimunavailable
I am pretty good at an American accent,tend to speak to others that way.I get"say me lucky charms".I am not IRISH!!
TarEmerald
Apparently that site does not allow direct links to their images. At any rate, I don't think I have access to it anyway.
jaribo2
I have a recipe for chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. A 4 serving recipe. 10 cloves per chicken breast. Delicious.
CitizenRekt
Absolutely glorious classic french recipe, the roasted garlic is amazing smeared on bread <3
MagpieChristine
The author of one of my cookbooks with the classic "chicken with 40 cloves of garlic" recipe admits to doing it with 80 once.
kaffeen91
I saw Alton Brown make that on Good Eats.
MooLord
Oh, man. Now I'm sad because you reminded me that show isn't on anymore. Amazing show.
ImJacksWittyUsername
Thought you were joking at first :) http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/chicken-with-forty-cloves-of-garlic-recipe.html
MooLord
Oh, no. That's real, and it's amazing!
JuliRosky362
As an English gent, absolutely. 2 cloves is pointless, chuck in 5-6 now we talkin'
bwchronos
As American, it's all about the salt and msg.
verothacamaro
As an immigrant, it's all about pig fat. Delicious pig fat.
bwchronos
An American immigrant?
verothacamaro
yeah...from Argentina
NotRick
dont forget the cheese
bwchronos
Actually you might be onto something. Salt, msg and cheese in a pan sounds delicious.
justletmefindausernamethatisnttaken
That last one resonates with my family and my cooking.
drrange
Are you Italian? or are you actually American with an Italian grandparent and like to call yourself Italian?
Edemlama
Most likely yes
Keesterbunny
Do you need help getting off your high horse?
MooLord
You got me. I live in Nevada, Grandfather was from Naples. If we can call third generation immigrants from Mexico "Mexicans"...
MooLord
...then I can call myself Italian. The spirit lives in me.
Redally
I heard from the great chef of Italy that the only 3 ingredients you need is Olive oil, onions, and garlic
StarryPlough
If you're making fried garlic & onions yes. Otherwise, no.
DeepReaver
That is basically the base of whenever we fry ground beef, it makes the beef so flavorful and lets it go with damn near anything.
afriendofmine
Onions and garlic just bring so fucking much flavor out of anything, no matter how bland the original flavor might be. It's beautiful.
MeSoMerry
How great are onions?
mirdreams
And mushrooms don't hurt.
TheWorldsGreatestPlagueDoctor
Replace olive oil with sesame seed oil and you get all the seasoning you need for asian food
ThaneofGlamis
That's a solid meal right there.
FlukeNevermet
pour... pour some wine in it...
iwasjusthungry
As an Italian, I rarely mix garlic and onion (but love both)
kworzora
Also in Portugal. I had it to nearly everything. Which kinda sucks because the smell of onions takes a lot of time to leave my hands -.-
Nykidemus
That's basically how I make everything. Spaghetti, fried potatoes, fuckin' everything.
kittymack
all great food (other than desserts obviously) start with those 3 winners!
zombiejedediah
And you can do without the onions.
Hugomanen
Tomato and basil.
flautista2013
BUONO TOMATO BUONO TOMATO BUONO BUONO OOOO TOMATO!
MittensPlease
As a (half) Italian THIS IS TRUE
mrgrape
Lies, an Italian would never forget basil.
MooLord
You, know, my mother and I both agree that basil is the best tasting plant.
PobesneliMrmot
And if you are from Balkans, you would throw in rosemary in. Every meal needs garlic, olive oil, rosemary and basil. And pork on the side.
tmot73
There's a popular Italian dish that consists of only spaghetti, olive oil, garlic, and peppers...and dammit it's delicious.
MooLord
There is? I thought that was just something I made when I wanted an excuse to eat parmesan cheese. (and no, I'm not splurging on import)
Nykidemus
I usually use a fresh mozzarella, and sun-dried tomatoes instead of peppers.
sigmareceptor
aglio e olio
tmot73
Olio, Aglio, Pepperoncino...served best with ungodly amounts of cheese.
MooLord
That's my favorite amount of cheese.
thefightingbees
THE great chef of Italy?
MooLord
He once made a cannoli so good, the pope quit his job.
thefightingbees
That was a much better answer than I expected.
chelsealov3
Truer words have never been spoken.
Icantreadgood
I knew I was on to something
ra66itz
I once learned from an actual Italian that it's either garlic or onions or garlic but never both.
tiramigiu
He then handed in his passport at the local questura
TimothyTRiG
My mother starts by frying onions and garlic. Then she works out what she's going to make.
SausageOverload
Also mushrooms and that's hOw I cook too. Mmm
yy0b
that's how I start every meal
antielovena
And here in Finland most people start by boiling potatoes and then thinking what to make... brr, potatoes everywhere!
IGoodSurgeonZeBest
Is your mom mexican? Because my mom is and she does this for everything! :D
TimothyTRiG
She's English with a Greek Cypriot father (and a Polish mother who learned to cook from her mother-in-law). And lives in Ireland.
icanttwerk
that's exactly what I do. I like the smell lol
zarnack21
Sounds like my Carbonara
bentwrenches
I do the same.
maverickquasar
When I cook for myself it is literally this plus chilli, when I cook for the misses I have to drop the chilli :-(
LumpPump
maybe you could ad a little and slowly increase chilli over time to help her get used to it probably ask her first but if it works yay chill
maverickquasar
Communication is overrated. Surprise Dorset naga!
BachelorGourmet
Is "chilli" code for "butt stuff"?
LumpPump
not really. butt if you want you can believe it is and apply the logic to anal training :3
yabisaurusrex
gotta build up the immunity to chilli
LumpPump
yup, thats what i just described for maver to do... i cant fit everything i want to say in only 140 characters so some bigger words get left
SixBucksAGallon
"How much garlic did you use?" "Three" "Three cloves?" "Three garlics"
DoctorWhopla
Had the boyfriend garlic to the potatoes. I asked how many he used; I got" How many are in the whole thing?" Smelled of garlic for days
MooLord
He knew what what he was doing.
TheSkeletonWar
serves cooked garlic - "All. All the garlic."
humminbirdtunes
I am not an Italian, but I agree with everything in this post.
klausnominomi
"Yes"
snowtheblizzard
Tree fidy man
NuNuDagobah
One garlic, hahaha
SUNGZU
Lmao!
specialpasta
as an italian-american 18 yro, sometimes I get rebellious and don't use very much garlic just to let people know that I am not like my dad
Kingofthefrogs
As half Italian: All of it
Hurga
Three braids!
Ahridan
Three garlics ah ah ah
theNilbogTroll
One of my first times ever making food for myself in college, I put 3 bulbs of garlic into lasagna instead of 3 cloves. It was horrendous.
youlovemeyouhateme
Yep, ditto. Still ate it.
serella
No, this sounds terrific.
BeetleBreakfastBeetleDrink
Pish, posh!
JoeyFunk
Did this for a pasta dish as well. It was so spicy. Still ate a bowl but couldn't eat any more
facedownninja
Did the same thing but with hummus.
xfumo
Are... Are you my brother in law? Cuz he did the same thing.
facedownninja
I'm an only child and so is my wife, so it's quite unlikely
stevetehpirate
If the whole house doesn't smell like warm garlic you're skimping.
MooLord
Oh, I'm going to quote you when I'm cooking dinner tonight.
stevetehpirate
Please do.
OmegaCloud
I love the smell of freshly roasted garlic. Sometimes I just roast a bulb or 2 for no other reason, then cook around the garlic
ChalkTodayUpAsALoss
Instructions unclear, added Garden of Garlic
DisneyPrincessCthulhu
I always AT LEAST double the amount of garlic a recipe calls for.
NinjasStoleMyMama
If you can't smell it when you sweat, it ain't enough.
Iunderstoodthatreference
That is an actual measurement of garlic. I, myself, use 4 garlics.
eronth
"3% of the world's supply, goddamn that's not hard to understand"
Leithoa
Just a few cloves http://inetgardens.com/Images/e/ElephantGarlicBulb.jpg
slagath0r
I'm Greek and we use an insane amount of garlic as well, which sucks cause i don't like garlic T_T
slagath0r
that much garlic*
MooLord
I am glad you made that clarification
slagath0r
you probably wouldn't be happy with my not-that-garlicky but otherwise fine cooking. i am very sorry :(
MooLord
Actually, I have this problem with food where I like prettymuch all of it. I have complete faith in your top three dishes. Cook away!
beeratius
"Yes, I used the garlic" "how much though?" "yess, all of it."
ICantBelieveNobodySaidThisYet
where can I get a good garlic press. the one I have is shit
MooLord
I usually chop the garlic, though, if i'm using more than three large cloves.
MooLord
http://www.amazon.com/OXO-Good-Grips-Garlic-Press/dp/B00HEZ888K/ref=sr_1_5?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1425597314&sr=1-5&keywords=garlic+press
MooLord
We got ours at Bed, Bath, Beyond. We've had it for about 7 years, and it still works like a charm.
facedownninja
First time I made hummus, I didn't know that a clove was just a little part of the of the bulb... whoops.
MooLord
Just add an extra can of chickpeas and call it gourmet.
sumothername
And here I am reading hummus as humans.
sweetbeatdown
Mmm, tasty humans leave garlic on the breath
MooLord
There is a joke in here somewhere about eating my wife, but I'm too afraid to make it.
sweetbeatdown
Pfft! Hah!
facedownninja
Truth be told that didn't turn out well either: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Fullmetal_Alchemist_-_02_-_Large_21.jpg
spicefreak
You need atleast one bulb per adult specimin.
zachtidmore
That's three bulbs, good buddy. Know your garlic. Love your garlic.
SixBucksAGallon
TIL a useful word. Apparently that joke lost something in translation.
Hypercookie
No, not bulbs, entire plants. Put the pot in there for special occasions.
TheGrayWanderer
No, he means that three entire species of garlic were consumed by this dish. They're extinct now, but the taste was worth the sacrifice.
GilaMonsieur
what if 'garlic' is an italian unit of measurement for the minimum recommended bulbs in a dish? i.e. 5 bulbs = 1 garlic
marekk7
Garlic is love. Garlic is life.
GuildMasterJin
Shrek is that you?
DanGessnercomedy
Fuck... I wanted to put that there
OverRedundant
thatsthejoke.gif
DrStoeckchen
You got a point there. You know what comes good with a point? An upvote.
Teas
Three garlics...
Cheomesh
*Lick your garlic
roguechikken
Kiss it tenderly, make sweet love to it.
TheDarkLordOfTrees
then leave it, for it was not meant to last
zachtidmore
You just can't tie garlic down.
Drase333
Digesting something does that.
Horiii
Not since the accident
Sickboy2212
sorry OP, you're... spanish right?
wheresthebaby
As a Spanish person, I am Italian.
TimeToRegister
Not since the accident.
portugalovesimgur
No, i think he's portuguese...
CompleatCunt
I thought OP was German
xolican
Yeah and OP loves olives.
MooLord
Ok, now hear me out... I only really like kalamata olives. I'm very sorry, I know they are Greek.
epicor
My 2yo would eat a whole jar of olives if I let him.
maverickquasar
He wouldn't because I'd snatch the jar and eat them all myself
MooLord
Like stealing olives from a baby.
epicor
mmm. Bad idea. He may well attempt to kill you. He's small, but scrappy.
maverickquasar
I'm pretty weedy, does he share? I'll let him have the olives if they're green, if they're black there will be a ruckus however
GaneshaTheElephantGod
As a garlic loving indian-austrian god I thought OP was indian.
MooLord
Oh, yeah. I got the idea for this post when I made a curry one day and the recipe didn't call for garlic. I'm on a diet, and...
GaneshaTheElephantGod
never make indian food without garlic. NEVER! not even a naan!
MooLord
...it was diet food, but come on. A curry without garlic is like Clue without Tim Curry
Deccadent
till your nationality doesnt mean that you like specified food
MooLord
100% accurate, but there is a reason all nationalities go to Italian food festivals, but nobody but Greeks go to Greek food festivals.
Deccadent
well if you really want to know local cuisine in europe you have to visit countryside to have really idea whats what :)
Deccadent
ande even then you only know whats typical for 1 countryside :D
MooLord
Makes sense.
ShabbaLife
A Spanish vampire I think
holycannoliitsroliepolieolie
He obviously said he was "latin." Can you not read?
Galdornae
I think he's the High King of Skyrim.
MOWhitetailKing
It's hard for me to tell, this post is all Greek to me.
MooLord
Hey, slow down, kid. As an Italian, I cannot let that slide. You ever see an Italian at a Greek food festival? Come on.
witsd
I assumed French, because of all the garlic.
maverickquasar
Anybody who disdains garlic is a sinner
witsd
Or a vampire.
MooLord
As an Italian, yes. I am Spanish.
erischilde
As a Romainian, i am Italian
PastryKhaleesi
I am both. Fun fact....although it may not be fun as garlic.
iSoulend
And you like ... onions right ?
MooLord
well, yeah. and basil. and parmesan, and no, I'm not buying imported cheese. CA cheese is pretty damn good.
RelativelyRelevantRelative
Fun fact: There is a city called Spain in Italy.
TheDyslexicGrammarNazi
There is a Spain in Italy called city
RelativelyRelevantRelative
Another fun fact: There isn't.
MooLord
loled
zackofspades
This is why I have trust issues.
jeremizzle
Perfection
omadonnadellerose
As an Italian, I'm Italian. Anche se non mi ci sento e per fortuna o purtroppo lo sono
keimariiced
Spaniards are definitely, definitely Italian (with garlic).
TheHappyHermit
"Dago wop, guinea, garlicbreath, pizzaslingin, spaghettibendin, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, nonsingin motherfucker"
DancingPanther
Fellow Italian here- My family's joke whenever a recipe calls for garlic is to yell FORTY CLOVES. No such thing as too much garlic.
AhhhApplesauce
As another Italian, I can confirm this. No such thing as to much garlic.
ImJacksWittyUsername
40 cloves chicken :) http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/chicken-with-forty-cloves-of-garlic-recipe.html
DancingPanther
....I...I am sO FUCKIN HYPE RIGHT NOW
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
I'm effed, because I'm Italian and I have a hyperactive olfactory sense, especially with certain things (including garlic). I mean, yeah I
ThatTwerkingWhoreFromOliveGarden
Garlic is delicious, uncooked, cooked, fried, whatever way you like it. it's like plant-bacon imo
mandakat
I am not at all Italian, but I share your garlic philosophy.
kittymack
me too - garlic to meals is what vanilla is to desserts - a really good idea!
DancingPanther
You don't need to be eyetralian to enjoy garlic correctly
mushymilkfor2
I once tripled the amount of garlic called for, it truly ended up being too much. I too thought there was no such thing as too much.
MooLord
I have never had that problem. Triple is where I usually end up.
mushymilkfor2
That's how I usually roll, but this was a rare occurrence of a recipe that called for the right amount.
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
2) love it, but I can taste it 10x better than they can and... just damn. Maybe 40 is enough.
DancingPanther
lol we don't actually put 40 cloves in it's just a joking hyperbole for "extra"
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
I was using it as hyperbole as well. Just bemoaning the slight inconvenience of my situation while bragging about eating good food.
kaffeen91
Isn't that a real dish though? Like 40 clove chicken or something.
MooLord
Yeah, and it fucking delicious.
onetimelurker
As an Italian, what are these things called recipes?
MittensPlease
Fuck measuring anything ever :)
Notcleverenoughtocomeupwithsomething1
I know we Italians have such a super sense of smell, that we don't taste our food when we cook. If it smells good, then it will taste good.
maverickquasar
Definitely winging it is the best way, look at what you've got and get creative. Learn so much about actual cooking that way
frogthroat
It's when you cook something new for the 1st time you type the name and "recipe" in google, read 3 first links and then wing it.
cmc8290
nothing is ever written down! i spent hours upon hours in the kitchen with my nonna learning the family recipes. that's the way to do it!
Pieala
Sicilian here. People don't fuck with me about my garlic.
theonlywhitegardener
Great grandma nana Rosie and her sister rose just say add a little of this and a little of that, then put it like this and cook it. ravioli
zcandels
They're what Imgur typically calls "food hacks"
onetimelurker
Italian food hack- "more garlic!"
TheSkeletonWar
All I'm reading here is Bapidi boop.
tortoisekeeper
You may want to see a doctor
889922
Yeah! My mom taught me to "eyeball it" when I make food. It always turns out good but the quantity is sometimes a little off but FUCK i'm>
889922
not going follow a recipe from a book. Just add Garlic and food will find a way
onetimelurker
Dont forget measurements like dash, dab, and glob.
muchmeerkat
Food...finds a way.
mockwerks
*uh
cmc8290
you mean like when you try to make pasta for two people and end up making enough to feed a village?
cmc8290
i just realized this is the plot for Strega Nona.
helmutboy
All. The. Time. I make enough to feed the two of us for a week.
889922
exactly
ProphetTenebrae
Is this like when Americans say they're Irish but mean that their great great grandmother once bought a potato from someone?
IComeWithWifi
And then a Brit came along and stole it. Leaving her hungry. Brit bastards.
only90skidswillgetthis
It's those not-even-Irish that complain the most about the British, too. Like relax guy, you have never been persecuted by the Queen.
ProphetTenebrae
Not yet they haven't.
turkeysandwiches
I always thought it was just a reference to cultural/genetic background. My family is Indian, German, Aboriginal, English but I'm Aussie
whatthebjork
It is, but those poncy fucks like to belittle anyone who isn't "cultured" and European. Trust me, I date one of those poncy fucks! haha
DeletedProfiles
Yes.
bookratt
At EU conference Q: how can u be proud of so muddled an ancestry. A: Hybrid vigor, you should try it. Big laughs all around. Mutts r great
Zerubbabel
White isn't a terribly popular descriptor anymore so you gotta go with something, so it might as well be where your ancestors came from.
CynicalFish
I'm part scottish, but only when I'm explaining why I'm half asian half white with natural red hair :S
CGriffo124
I can not imagine what that accent would be like.
SquishyPanda
I'm half Irish and half Filipino but I came out Mexican.
ANorthman
Both sides of my family have been in Canada for more than 200+ years. We still say we're German & Irish.
MagpieChristine
There is this belief in North America that everyone has an ethnicity other than "generic North American". Leads to a lot of bullshit.
TheFlyingHellfish
Ancestry.com can really fill it in.
MagpieChristine
I know that some great-grandparents were born in Poland. I'm not at all Polish though. (No cultural retentions at all.)
TheFlyingHellfish
I get you, you're saying that people 4 generation away from a European country aren't truly part of that culture.
MagpieChristine
Not necessarily that quickly for everyone, but pretty much. It's like the idiots who think "French Canadian" isn't a unique cultural group.
Draegohn
that would make them Inca-American.
BeeDragon
I'm American with an amateur interest in geneology. I like being able to track my family tree back to Scotland, Ireland, Germany and Poland
whatthebjork
My mom is SUPER into it. She's traced my families back to the 1500s....I am a W. European mutt with an emphasis on Germanic origin.
Prosecutrixxx
I'm 1/4 Irish (paternal grandma is full) and I'll never forget when I met a math major at a bar and he told me I'm 1/8, not 1/4.
mikeymutant
What I'll never get is why everyone makes fun of us for being proud of our heritage.
ProphetTenebrae
Probably because few other nations look back 3-4 generations and arbitrarily decide uncle Joe from Dublin makes them Irish or such.
avervetmonkey
Having a certain heritage makes you of that ancestry, it does not make you a part of the country's culture unless you've actively gone there
foxearredasshole
But American culture is a mix of all the others. It really isn't just one thing. It varies by neighborhood depending on who settled there.
fruust
Still makes you american, not whatever nationality your ancient ancestors had.
foxearredasshole
Family that came over is still alive. Ancient ancestors is not the correct term. Some have duel citizenship. It is not one size fits all.
avervetmonkey
Yes. I don't see how that lessens the fact that an American with e.g. Irish heritage yet knows nothing is still way more American than Irish
foxearredasshole
Some of them came over quite recently. There are still parts of old culture and language still being used.
chonst
As an American who is actually from a nearly full blooded Irish blood line... It makes me so sad in my heart when 5% makes you Irish here.
Narushima
Sounds to me like you're American.
Inchpunch
As a proud black man who is actually white because my ancestors emigrated Africa a few hundred thousand years ago, I feel you homie.
Citragon
nationality isnt a secret club you whiny cunt, if you value your ethnic origins based on how many other people identify as the same then
Citragon
you can fuck yourself
ryukochan
Both sides of my family go back to the same Scottish clan (they emigrated about 100 yrs apart) & I have hair like Merida. I'm American.
RoseyRose
as a jew with red hair all it takes in America to be considered Irish is red hair.
gingerzwillruletheworld
yep.
IceCreamConefessions
I come from Italian and German bloodlines....I still consider myself American.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Same. We can trace our lineage to 18th century Germany… Still American
VladThePoker
Try telling the Irish, in Dublin or wherever, that you're Irish and they'll tell you you're just a cunt.
GingerTheBeard
as they should.
ermerlerd
As a canadian who is actually from a nearly full blooded irish bloodline... I'm still a canadian
kmcj22
Well youre no really irish.
mithiasthetruthug
Right? Everyone assumes I'm Irish, and I'm like, I have no fucking idea.
PetrificusTotalus
"nearly"
ProphetTenebrae
5%? What? Less than one great great grandparent? Seems my guess wasn't far off the mark.
CarlosBandana
I'm a quarter Irish and I have never claimed to be Irish. Half Dutch, and that's the one I go with. Probably helps I was born and raised it.
CookieDoughForSpike
I had a US friend who didn't get why tgis was a problem until I said, if you're italian, what does that make people from Italy?! Sigh
Psychethos
Exactly. It was surreal to me when I moved to the US at 12 for people to say "Oh, I'm Finnish too!" and I'd get all excited, until I (1)
Psychethos
realized they meant they had some Finns down the family line, and had never themselves even been there or spoken a word of Finnish. (2)
Narushima
Super Italians?
CookieDoughForSpike
*this
iamireland
Why? That's so fucking pretentious.
chonst
It's pretentious to be saddene at people claiming to be predominantly Irish when they aren't?
iamireland
Who said anything about predominantly?
chonst
I have 140 character limit and predominantly is a big word...
myplacetosaytheshitineversay
I was quietly proud of being 90% Irish stock, until I visited Ireland and realized how not-Irish I was.Now I just admit I'm pretty American.
FrigginCornflakes
Your nationality is American but your ancestory remains Irish. There's no harm in celebrating both, so long as you realize you're not 1:1
myplacetosaytheshitineversay
Oh certainly, I still love my ancestry, and I'm now nursing plans to own some of our old land back there. But I'm 100% American in nature.
TimothyTRiG
I have no Irish ancestry, but I've lived here all my life and am pretty damned Irish in many ways.
myplacetosaytheshitineversay
Nature versus nurture, man. If you've grown up there, you're almost certainly more Irish in behavior than anyone with just the ancestry.
TimothyTRiG
Born and reared here: still have an English accent. (I blame my parents, who brought me up on BBC Radio 4.)
arawana
Plastic Irish is the term you're looking for?
AlabastorTwob
I believe it's 'plastic paddy'
nipplepanties
I guess I am long american from immigration but my family have all retained the Irish bastard attitude. Fuck us.
Bent0916
Well what else are people to do when you constantly remind them that they're invaders that genocided the natives and took over?
Bent0916
"I'm American!" "You weren't here first!" "I'm.. er... of German descent? My hometown does Oktoberfest!" "You're American, not German!"
ProphetTenebrae
Get a hobby - maybe knitting?
DarkMutton
My grandparents on my fathers side are both from ireland. So my dad is 50% irish, and my mom is like 25% irish. So yeah, I'm at least 62.5%
Draegohn
Or rather, 37.5% ... haha my math also sucks. oh fuck it, you're 100% Irish!
ProphetTenebrae
I can't fault your percentages.
DarkMutton
my great great great great grandmother on my fathers side also once bought a potato....so I have that going for me
Draegohn
that makes your 32.5% Irish.
DarkMutton
I get 50% from my dad who is 100% irish.....and my mom is 25%.....so I would get 12.5 from her.
Draegohn
You said in your original post that your dad is 50% Irish. Plus, if all 4 grandparents are full Irish then you can just say he's Irish.
liliputian7
I'm a Swede by blood. And damned if I don't strive to conquer the lesser kingdoms and institute the Swedish Empire.
liliputian7
That's something Swedes do, right
ProphetTenebrae
200 years since Sweden declared war if ultrafacts is to be believed.
drbarrel
That is right, but we have send soldiers to war...
flamingflamingo
I'm Norwegian, Irish, German... I mean I'm a white American but it's okay to be proud of my heritage, right?
ProphetTenebrae
I've been led to believe that may be something of a loaded question.
PetrificusTotalus
Then you're American, with Norwegian, Irish and German descent.
flamingflamingo
Sounds good to me, though I don't see how rearranging the wording does anything.
PresidentProTempore
It doesn't, the Europeans just like to bunch their panties.
miraquiTOMA
As a non-European, I too found it curious when I met people in the US that claimed other nationalities tbh.
Psychethos
For a person who is actually Norwegian, Irish, or German, it's weird for you to say you are too. Just say you're of __ descent. It matters.
flamingflamingo
If I were speaking to someone of that nationality, I might change up my diction. But in America, it's common for someone to say "I'm German"
flamingflamingo
and it's immediately understood what is meant. Which might be why it's common for Americans to continue saying that online. 2/2
ServitorofAzathoth
It's a proper use of English thing. Saying you are Irish implies you were born there or have citizenship.
flamingflamingo
In the context it's often used, discussions with other Americans, it doesn't usually imply that.
Zerubbabel
http://www.lolmaze.com/pictures/03c6b06952c750899bb03d998e631860.jpg
BrianFarr
I find it rather silly; heritage is a blind accident. It is your accomplishments that matter most.
GingerTheBeard
its more of acknowledging where you came from and appreciating it.
nonoyawns
I get the impression that Europeans don't appreciate that Americans still often organize around their ethnic origin.
SergeantKnickerlessArsewipe
It's when they're obnoxiously loud about it & try to give us history lessons in own our country that it's not appreciated or well received.
AnaemicRoyalty
As an Irish person (born and raised in Ireland, all family from here) American's have a tendency to claim they're Irish "too" when they(1/?)
AnaemicRoyalty
come over to visit when in fact their great great grandmother on their father's side was from Cork or some shit. Yr not Irish. You've (2/?)
AnaemicRoyalty
an Irish ancestor. Ancestry doesn't automatically confer nationality. It's absolutely obnoxious. It's not a rare thing, I wish it were (3/3)
ExpectedDickbuttGotDickbutt
it's equally fair to say Americans literally don't realize "I'm Italian" means something totally different in Europe than in America
nonoyawns
Irish-, German-, and Italian-, Polish-, Chinese-ect. culture groups and fraternities are really common.
Psychethos
It's not that, it's the fact that someone who is third generation Italian/Irish/whatever will sometimes behave as if they're AS (1)
Psychethos
Italian/Irish/whatever as someone who was born and currently lives in that country.It has a tendency to reduce nationalities to caricatures.
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
Sounds like some people want cake to have and eat. The cake is being american.
Psychethos
Yes. They get to be American, the most well known and understood nationality, but also get to have some "exotic" flavour in who they are.
MooLord
My mother was full Italian, her father taught us both how to cook (I'll never tell my mom, but I'm a better cook than she is.)
sexysexything
you just add more garlic than your mother, right?
eeeeeagle
Oh my god, that is a sacrilegious thing to say about an Italian mother. I demand samples.
MooLord
Hmmm. I was a full grown adult when I learned I like steak.
flamingflamingo
I'm going to tell your mom you said that, OP.
sweatshopkids
If you value your life you won't tell her.
Killertomato84
I'm telling your mom you said that.
Blastergv9
As a fellow Ital-Americano, all the men are better cooks in my family
foxearredasshole
Same.
cashmoneyfever
So what you're saying is you're American
TyrannosaurusJeff
We'll give them half Italian. I'll allow it. As long as they have been to Italy! The number of 'Italians' who haven't... just, what?! How?
kmcj22
Thats because theyre not italians, theyre americans with some italian roots generally
Edemlama
aaa so you are not italian!!
lockwoodx
There is no such thing as too much garlic. Even the ice cream is pretty damn good.
Splaterson
"was"
only90skidswillgetthis
Probably dead, dick.
Splaterson
"but I'm a better cook than she is." implies alive. dick.
foureightfifteensixteentwentythreefourtytwo
Probably not.. Since he chooses not to tell her that he is the better cook.
only90skidswillgetthis
Could be. It's never appropriate to ask why you would use past tense when describing a family member though...
ProphetTenebrae
Ah, goodo. Many colonials have a grasp of nationality deeply at odds with the rest of the world's.
me2me2
My cousin lives in America. Over there he claims he's Dutch, when he's here he's American. Just milking those two passports
aggressivecuddles
"colonials"
ProphetTenebrae
Yes. Quite.
GingerTheBeard
ancestry and nationality are two different things.
hayhayhay
In my area, a lot of people use their watered-down Italian heritage to excuse being loud and bad-tempered. It's annoying
hayhayhay
I'm not saying Italians actually are those things. Just that you can't blame your manners on a single relative you never met.
copstabber
Are you from nj?
hayhayhay
Close, PA but 5 minutes from NJ.
cTrix
Goodo (adjective): Good (Australian /NZ informal) Do you really need to add that o in written form...
ProphetTenebrae
It's also used in Britain and yes. I do.
HopeHubris
Yes, it's unAustralian to not turn any possible word into slang
IceCreamConefessions
My mother was full german and my father full italian. However, they are still 3rd generation Americans.
verothacamaro
I wasn't even born in America and I'm American. Culture is your true nationality.