Syrupdrizzler
566442
14409
268
Theory works with Reddit too
How not to cross the line in your circle of friends
This theory has helped me enjoy horror movies
Just say it
A new level of procrastination
Deep thoughts at a [10]
We are all unique
TheBasementNerd
#5 Damn right that shit got delivered
GreatHair
Tha real baby crow
Dukeoferrl
#39, the Watchmen
DidYouSmellThat
Or 12 Monkeys
blazeit419point999fgt
I'm relevant :D
NonWellKnownImgurian
Congrats :D
geekyisland
#34 so did the car
onedietpoopcola
As someone who lives in Colorado, I now need to drive on I-70 and find that mile marker.
Jackalope0
And steal it?
copingcabana
"What happened to Jimmy?" "Punctured spleen." "Alright, I won't ask."
tomyironmane
#23 Don't forget, behind every successful person, there's an asshole.
boyburnsworld
"OW IT HURTS!" "OMG WHERE?" "SPLEEN!" "FINE. SHIT, I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP!"
mosswench
THAT'S NO BABY CROW. baby crowns are a bit gross (don't judge you looked gross when you hatched too). corn crake chick. GET TO KNOW
NevermindIguess
mosswench
that's right. baby crowns.
bawnni
THANK YOU
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Third time today, this is frustrating.
mosswench
I KNOW RIGHT. also as an almost-ginger zoology student, ginger beards and biology are two of my favourite things.
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
I feel the same about wenches in the moss.
mosswench
well you know what they say. a rolling wench gathers no moss.
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
That makes sense. So you just happen to be a wench hiding in the moss?
ryodark
How many times are those baby birds going to be erroneously posted as crows before people realize their mistake?
Gingefro
419.99 blaze it
FoxInSoxInABox
xD LOL
iantollewellyn
839.98, blaze it twice?
Sithrak
Spleen.
Zaddy23
Eyyyyyy:
Luxvero
ppl please, keep this comment at 420 likes
bearbreaker
419 lightly toast it
fluder
9:45 blaze it
blazeit419point999fgt
Holy Crap I'm relevant!
angryangrybird
holy crap!! congratulations!! :D
MrRandom314159
Honestly, I kinda want the 419.99 sign more than a 420 sign.
FranklinDelanoLoafing
lim x->420 x/1 blaze it
DerKeksinator
Shouldnt lim x->420 (1/420-x) be a little more worthy of this mathematical Approximation of infinity? Yes, I'm fun at Partys
FranklinDelanoLoafing
Move to the front of the class where you already are.
TheCharacterLimitInUserNamesIsALargeNumberAndIWillAbuseThatFact
var int x = 419.99; Console.Println(x + "blaze it");
nickiwoll
int x=419.99; cout << x << " blaze it" << endl;
TheWizardG
Import Stoner
Spearka
#7 even if it made sense how the F*CK is jesus supposed to let you know? by burning bush?
samsonguy920
When yeast infection sets in, Jesus consents.
AlphanumericCharacter
"Leave some room for Jesus"
thatprickleypear
That was a beautiful pun, and I salute you. +1
DerpKugel
European Christian: 'I try to be kind because I know Jesus would', American Christian: 'NO sex, NO fun, bad, bad, GUILT, BAD!'
SergeantPeppersLonelyHeart
Well I for one did not invite Jesus to my orgy. Even if he consents, we're not letting him in.
hencethequeef
IDK if my bush was burning, I don't think I'd be in the mood.
Jodo42
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Charizarding
Queeditch
If your bush is burning, maybe you have STD.
elvmn
Jesus didn't think this through
Syrupdrizzler
Idk, Marriage?
Therearetoomanyusernames
NOW it makes sense! Thanks!
iamthecrazycatlady
Who refuses a delicious homemade meatloaf anyway? Oh .. wait... the ones who DON'T deserve to go to NY do that.
HackerJacker
Nobody said it was delicious
InspectMyClouseau
found the mom
Cheomesh
My mother's meatloaf was so horrible...actually her everything was pretty bad. I thought corned beeff has was a soup until college >.>
RIPBillHicks
What even is a meatloaf?
CharlesJacobs
Mom?
ItDoesNotDoToDwellOnDreams
Meatloaf makes me want to puke. I cannot stand the texture. I would spit it in the toilet when I was forced to eat it. Trip be damned!
JordanfromJordan
Why didn't you tell me you didn't like my meatloaf 40 years ago, how many meat loafs have I made for you?1
AtlantisSkye
I have never tasted a meatloaf I liked. I find the name gross and it the taste even grosser.
RandomImgurian
I absolutely agree.
plainoldfool
Meatloaf is amazing... serious comfort food. Try it one day.
AtlantisSkye
I have. Several times. I find it disgusting.
DatDurTho
Depends, some people really suck at making meat loaf.
plainoldfool
I've had about 5 bad servings of meatloaf (usually at diners... diners fuck up meatloaf). All other experiences have been amazeballs
Spar10
Hahaha oh god are they trying to say that Aerys jr is any semblance of a good ruler?
whoisbillnye
How do you casually work "spleen" into a sentence
IusedtobeapervertIstillambutIusedtobetoo
Ow, my liver. Ow, my lasagna.
KevinRPD
Pineapples, get out of my face.
WhatzitTooya
And what happens when you feel ill and want to say your friends they need to take you to the hospital cause your spleen hurts?
mchugh
By casually quoting Invader Zim?
IPointOutTheObvious
This is spleen to me.
Rebellion777
It's not elegant, but you could always say "My favorite part of Mucha Lucha was when The Flea kept yelling 'AYE, THE FLEA'S SPLEEN'"
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
"Guys, I just went back from my doctor, he said it's my spleen" *Everyone left the room* "No guys wait I'm being serious here!"
jeffreybaratheon
I don't think you understand the concept of a safe word...
SanSamis
Well, let me try to exspleen...
VDomini
The smash ban one was the result of the time not being signed correctly in binary. It's actually a negative six hours, but because the (1/2)
VDomini
Time was unsigned (no negatives allowed), it instead showed a huge positive value. The value is stored in seconds as well. (2/2)
EddieMcfork
What if you're arguing about spleens?
Soulren
Yes
ImperialSquid
"What part of your body would you sell on the black market" "Spleen"
DerWaschbar
SPLEENS CORAL
adam1111
I have had at least three arguments about spleens.
Histrionical
I hear Kevin McDonald in my head as Waffle from "Catscratch". "SPLEEEN!" Did that show exist? or was it just a fever dream I had?
alabamafutbol
I feel like conversational safewords are a great idea.. until you have that one hypersensitive friend who overuses it
salamanderthegreat
Yeah I think it would be great to make boundaries in my friends and I conversations......if there were any.
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
This is basically their way of accepting that they have no trust in their friends.
Charlin
Or perhaps a friend who is like "Don't wanna annoy them or be too sensitive" so they almost NEVER use it, so its function just sort of fails
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
Dude cmon, spleen.
ReidYouOweMeMoney
Doesn't really work when we tried it. We used "Secret Box" and it worked for a while, then we all kept pushing it because we're all assholes
danielsdesk
You mean like the Cacao bit on Portlandia? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldQGPwuHhkM
3stag
honestly how sensitive do you have to be to even need a safe word... it seems complicated and unnecessary just say change the subject pls
HerrBisch
Totally agree. Stupid idea.
Barkinsons
IMO talking openly about it works way better, just say 'can we please change the subject' ffs
Morpheus212
Even that has made me start to dislike friends who overuse that. How about, rather, we learn to not be so hypersensitive?
HerrBisch
I totally agree, it's possibly the Tumblr-y-ist thing I've ever read.
sleepilee
It's basically a way to avoid answering questions. That can also leads to misunderstandings, suspisions and disconnections, don't you think?
sleepilee
Unless people agrees with eachother to stop further arguing, thus "Spleen". But its useless on it's own if there are no chemistry whatsoever
ABadlyBehavedRabbit
I don't think it's possible. I mean, every time someone tried to bring up an argument about spleens, another would change the subject...
CoolHandRK
What if you dont want your friends to be over sensitive cunts who cant accept someone disagreeing with their opinion.
samsonguy920
Who argues about spleens?
Buonaparte
baudelaire's afficionados
goodguyC
Surgeons?
Rebellion777
The Flea.
Luvvie
My sister and my BIL. The BIL's spleen weighs like 2lbs, and it SHOULD be removed, but he doesn't wan to spend the money or have surgery.
TheBlackBear
I haven't seen Hannah Montana what does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN‽
whatevenarecats
Me neither someone please explain
wenzzzz
Two personas: one celebrity, one normal teenage girl
superwasabi
same here, guess op loves hanna montana
lordfluffycus
...What 4 words?
SuharuStormrage
swaglord691
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
airminer
Will you marry me?
lunaisbestprincess
I was thinking the same thing. Probably a fake text to set up for the joke.
fyndir
Chess didn't teach you that lesson already? [#33]
sassylittlespoon
I read 33 of these? :|
Besimtar
42* actually
SexuallyAmbiguousPangolin
Spend a night on Broadway and you'll get the same message.
Amythyst
Or the UK?
ReddishRaddish
well played
CorvusBelli
We had kings, once. Before it became clear Liz was immortal.
lovetorun
she isn't about to die and let that fuck up happen again.
Amythyst
God's saved the queen from having to give the throne to Charles.
mikecws91
I hope that Mile 419.99 sign is 52.8 feet from where the original was.
HotSock
And its Plants in Pants with their new hit single: "Why won't you fertilise me baby".
Lizzu
Because bees are dying at an alarmingly fast rate and scientists aren't quite sure why.
ChocomonMaster
The bassist is all flowers and sunshine, but the singer looks pretty abrasive, and the drummer leafs something to be desired.
butteredtoast789
I prefer "Kiss me on my Tulips"
Pejman
Trim me baby one more time
Fijiana
I'd listen to them, but I hate auto-prune.
Fijiana
Actually... I think I dislike photosynth in general.
guy49
this album is a real call back to their roots
lockwoodx
I hear the lead singer is a real prick
sirplayerone
I also heard that the pretty boy is a real thorn in the band's side.
samsonguy920
But he sticks around every year for his fans
IAmFromCanadaEh
Followed by their second hit single "Pollen in love"
Syrupdrizzler
And don't forget one of their most classic, "Thornacate with me".
IAmFromCanadaEh
I would like to forget their ill-conceived attempt at grunge with their song "Ivy let you down"
DickWhiskers
OK but seriously " leaf me alone" was my favorite
Syrupdrizzler
Yeah their grunge stage wasn't their best work. But I loved their Blue Grass Titles.
0g3l
Plant me baby one more time was also great.
Auralyn
me baby = they are totally pirates, too
SciaticNerd
Didn't realize they were from Europe... Y'know, because they're fond of the Germination.
andrich2k
Their debut album: Seeds of Love
Masterofdisgust
1000th +1 bitch
HotSock
ayy its my first comment over 1000, thanks
trismegist
"This next song goes out to all the sexy bees in the audience"
aureolus
If Game of Thrones has taugh me anything its that Daenerys tries to front like shes powerfull but she just really isnt. #TeamSnow
Kargathia
She definitely is powerful - partially clueless, but powerful. Dragons and a private army will do that for you.
MrSirNobody
I'll add them to my grocery list.
aureolus
Her dragons are pretty useless locked up, and thus far she can't seem to control Meereen with such a powerful private army.
Kargathia
Power does not equal control if you are unable or unwilling to use it. If she wanted to, she could raze the city.
flakeOfDoom
Powerful enough to take it, though. Plus, she could easily control it...she just wants to break the old order, rather than just adding (1/2)
flakeOfDoom
herself to the top of it, which would work more easily. (2/2)
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
She's young, untaught. She'll learn. However she's not stronger than other people. They just get hunted more ferociously. And lack dragons.
Queeditch
Is she actually a teenager in the books?
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Yes. She has flowered and such, but is still very young. If I remember correctly.
ProfessorZeus
Conversational safeword? Wtf? How would that get you to think deeper about anything? Sometimes if something is hard to talk about thats good
DerpKugel
Well not everyone needs to know how you were molested as a child, and sometimes it could be nice to stop cancer jokes before someone cries
thatclimbingguy
"Lets stop actual arguments from happening!"
IndifferentSpaghetti
It sounded like it's more for when people are roasting on eachother and it's starting to go too far or get too personal.
DezTurkish
I agree. It could easily keep some friendships in a box because some people don't like or don't want to hear what's going on.
fraxinusoleaceae
Then you get friends who want to? Safe words don't stop BDSM from happening, they just encourage you to do it with someone who wants to.
AndSoAdInfinitum
It's easier for some to say 'spleen' instead of 'please stop, the thing you are saying is reminding me about when I was violently raped.'
ThisIsntWhoItWouldBeIfItWasntWhoItIs
Want an example? My brother was recently arrested for running a child pornography site. Me and my friends joke a lot about it, but 1
ThisIsntWhoItWouldBeIfItWasntWhoItIs
sometimes I'm not in the mood for that brand of comedy, specifically when my parents get on my case that day. 2
KillerAceUSAF
I guess #39 has never seen Doctor Horrible' Sing-a-long Blog!
hiddenequality
My first thought.
samsonguy920
Their reaction after seeing that '....not what I expected.'
Erkhyan
… or turned on any news channel…
DukeFlipside
Or Watchmen.
datMaggie
Was going to say Watchmen. Good movie.
Spinosaur
When will these fuckers learn that this:
is NOT A BABY CROW!
ryodark
Seriously, it's mind-boggling that people aren't getting this yet.
yumavocado
So what is it really?
Spinosaur
It's definitely some kind of poultry chick. I work at a wildlife rehab clinic, we get lots of baby crows every year and they are not cute.
UsePNGnotJPEG
A Jackdaw
TerrorBite
Here's the thing...
UsePNGnotJPEG
I wish imgur would allow larger character limits because of copypastas. They're so fun.
YourBitterHatefulBestFriend
Jackdaws are crows.....
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Never, apparently. Tis a sad day.
maetrix
Quoth the raven
NinjaBreadMon
Was the used mop water used to clean up the dog vomit? ???
scozzle
I wish I had a tail
tygerpsimatrix
Tail, TAIL, TAIL, TAIL - http://33.media.tumblr.com/3815c8c621b6890c87dcea920fa04ff9/tumblr_myyfj8GAOD1snnv7so1_400.gif
lookingrefreshed
thats nice dear
istilldontknow
http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/people-of-wal-mart-guy-with-furry-tail.jpg
IsThisFurry
"Classic" furry
istilldontknow
nice username
IsThisFurry
Here for all your furry-classification needs!
TheWizardG
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1299398926/grow-your-own-tail/description
FrankJ7
.... humm
TheSqueakerKnowAsKinouk
hwat
GingerButNotAWeasley
http://imgur.com/ygR7iRe Does Doctor Horrible fit this?
slag
Nah. Those movies don't exist because they'd just be real life.
brokenmasquerade
Empire Strikes Back was the example I thought of, but Dr Horrible is a great example.
samsonguy920
Yes.
MundaneFacts
gladiator. no country for old men. The wicker man. One flew over the cuckoo's nest. Starwars ep. 5. There will be blood. The usual suspects.
MundaneFacts
Primal fear. Saw. Cool hand Luke. Shutter island. Swordfish. A clockwork orange. Identity. Brazil. The Wicker man(2006)
Nix91
I was totally going to say that.
havefunfindingme
http://img.pandawhale.com/81321-I-think-this-is-what-pain-feel-AMzE.gif sorry I just love this gif.
itsybitsyspider
Thing is, this is still Megamind. He did rule for a while and pretty well went, "Okay, so, what now?"
AlmostClever
Made me think of Swordfish.
PeregrinTook13
That's the first thing I thought of.
IMadeThisOnlyForDestinyCodeBegging
But did he really win at the end...?
DeepCyan
Skyline fits this pretty much to the number. The story can be summarized by the sentence 'Aliens take over, everyone dies'. Was a bit boring
BANANAFLAKE
I feel like my username and that guy's are not too far off.
DukeFlipside
First thought was Watchmen...
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
Heidasaurus
I noticed that my last comment posted many time. I have no regrets and will delete none.
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
therealbilbobaggins
My first thought when I read that one!
Antfarmz
I concur. I too, had a similar experience.
Heidasaurus
As did I.
TheLividHotDog
Personally I was thinking of Watchmen.
Heidasaurus
But who watches the Watchmen?
PowayMermaid
Hmmm. Does it count if you get what you thought you wanted, but it's not what you really wanted?
ForSomeAbstractReason
Eeeeeverything you ever...
mattproducer
And I won't feel.... A thing...
sharptongue
this makes my heart hurt just READING IT
hencethequeef
I truly believe that starring in the Twilight Saga has drained Robert Pattinson of every fuck he ever had to give.
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
I will give him one
evillesbianfromthesnakehouse
I love him for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFA6Ycch1EM
thejollymolly
That was just brilliant.
MeMePickMePlease
That last one! That's the happiest I've ever seen him!
zackofspades
Dating Kristin Stewart helped in that regard I imagine.
DangQuesadilla
He was just her beard. She's as lesbian as the day is long
SexandViolence
Definitely in my dreams she is.
CanYouFeelItNowMrKrabs
Wow you definitely called it!
sirplayerone
These days be shorts as Asian dicks then.
InanityWolf
That interviewer looked really aggressive
AlmostClever
That was Robert Pattinson? I legitimately thought it was Daniel Radcliff.
HotSock
I'm making this 2015, the year we are currently in if you weren't aware.
cranialpleasure
The death of one's career well so that to a person
Wordish
Except that it launched his career and fame.
derringermeryl
Thank you for helping me decipher that.
cranialpleasure
You know I was legitimately surprised to read that, checked his IMDb page and sure enough, he's still in moves. Consider me corrected
Evyreid
How can I hate what someone has done, but love him so much?
JudoonPlatoonUponTheMoon
This is exactly how I feel about Seth Macfarlane.
TheWayADrillWorks
Hate the sin, love the sinner.
gonchio
Spleen!!
honeyboob
Gotcha. Alright then, anybody excited for the new Star Wars Film?
MagnustheJust
I truly feel for the poor guy. He only took the role because he was literally starving...
[deleted]
[deleted]
geriatricsanatore
He was sleeping on his agents couch because he was new to the States, it was his choice not because he had no where else to go.
IfYouDontLikeItSuckMyDick
...... for blood?
iurimc1618
you are not getting the credit you deserve
Hagabadla
Wasn't he already kinda known after Harry Potter?
MagnustheJust
Not as much as some would think...
KtownTanningPrince
Sauce? Can't find anything on that
hencethequeef
Wait, really?
MagnustheJust
Yarp.
IAmRelevantToThis
I've not heard that before and I used to have a big ass crush on him. How'd you know?
Demmayyy
Nobody hates twilight as much as the cast of twilight
merkin420
why do the cast hate it :V?
LeftCollectionBlueBird
I dunno how to feel about it. I didn't like it, but imagine how the author feels. She tried very hard to be creative, and gets so 1/
LeftCollectionBlueBird
popular by demand she's given a movie. And after the movies, it's ridiculed by everyone.
RCSlyman
I'm pretty sure it was ridiculed long before it was made into movies.
hencethequeef
Eh, she can cry into her money. She romanticized a horribly unhealthy, creepy, stalker-y relationship and marketed it to teen girls.
LeftCollectionBlueBird
50 Shades deserves the shitty attention more so.
blueberriesandraspberries
That's probably why the acting was terrible, besides it being a bad story lone to begin with
MildTiger
Good actors can't fix a bad script.
RubyPorto
I disagree. Evidence: Star Wars: The line was "I love you too." Lucas can't write dialogue. Orig trilogy saved by actors fixing the script.
YourWaifuIsTrash
Well yeah, but that's them taking one scene and tweaking it. Without changing the whole plot, Twilight would still only have been "meh".
LoveChunks
You're right. "I love you too" is just a ridiculous reaction to that line. What was he thinking?
tbirdistheword
It's obvious that no one involved in those movies gave one single fuck. The actors, the crew, not one person.
Dwaynethejockronson
I find that quite sad. Yeah it's shitty but people care about it. I'd be gutted if Mark Hamill was a dick about Star Wars.
FievelMousekewitz
He kinda did afterwards cause everyone liked Harrison ford more and luke was supposed to be the main hero.
realscrumpysteve
He's long since stopped caring. I think being Cock Knocker was good therapy for him.
FievelMousekewitz
Everyone needs to be Cock Knocker at some point in there life.
pharoahjared
Well that did kinda happen, Alec Guinness hated Star Wars.
SaxSoloFromBakerStreet
He was smart enough to foresee it being a huge success, though, and demanded a 2% percentage of the gross royalties. His estate is $$$$$
ElsasIceDildo
Jake Lloyd hates star wars. Close enough...
JordanMBraz
But but but....everyone loves Star Wars...