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Dec 2, 2014 12:03 AM
partyspooper
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Pppppppppppppppatrick
Or just, don't write a novel.
MasterDefenestrator
Okay, great. Now do one for actually finding someone to publish it.
yahabibi
amazing how much less intimidating when broken down!
RednapxpandeR
Nice
010101010110011001110101011001110110110001111001
Wish I read this a week ago, instead of when my essay is due.
Oteneo
Somewhere in between first and second drafts, remove permission to suck
Procrastinating4Dayz
That's what the second draft is all about. :D
lunaulysses
Will someone please send this to George R R Martin? We may get these books out faster.
ReignOfError
I prefer to write 4000 words a day in random fits of inspiration and then spend the next week and a half in anguish and writer's block.
GuardianOfSanction
+1 for honesty. I would have much more written if I didn't spend so much time on procrastinating. I go into fits of writing, then fall off.
Pieala
I think permission to suck is most important (so you don't wait for perfection). Applies to any kind of writing.
bane83
Write drunk, edit sober.
MakingUpAUsernameIsTerrifying
Someone send this to George.
lifehacksimmediately
i thought writing a novel would be awesome. now i'm done and i feel like i just wasted a bunch of paper.
iPretend
Guys. I'm gonna do it. I'll deliver the novel on this very date next year.
MightGuy
Looking forward:)
Fireside90
This'll help, was planning on writing a story about a character of mine whose had quite a few experiences.
queennbee
Now put that shit away, no one wants to see it. At least, not the first four I've written. Maybe #5 is the one??
kinglycitrus
I wrote a book a year ago, sent it to my dad and two friends, none of them have finished reading it yet :(
queennbee
I have found that friends/family don't make good beta readers! Needs a bit more impartiality, plus it won't hurt as much.
PlutoForPresident2016
When I'm done with mine im afraid of encountering the same problem. Just ain't a on of people who wanna read sci-fi unfortunately :/
HPWombat
Find people online, and read their novels in return. There's nothing more vaulable than a peer group to read/review your shit
GuardianOfSanction
You can try posting some bits on wattapad. Large community of people looking for free reads. Might get some feedback there.
mustacheCat
I find it funny this was posted the day after NaNoWriMo ended
Avatar720
The advice here is pretty crap for NaNo, save the last 3 points of the first image. Writing on wkends is the diff. between 1,667 WPD, & 2500
mustacheCat
I know it, avatar! I actually competed for the first time this year, and won!
Avatar720
Congrats! I was convinced to try it around halfway through November, so I only managed 20k, but there's always next year.
zeradeth
As someone who finished a 223 page novel this year I COULD HAVE USED THIS IN FEBRUARY GOD DAMMIT. Took me 4 years to write that fucker!
lizziekeegan
I've just started, got four pages and kinda lost motivation and ideas. Reckon you could give me a hand?
zeradeth
Absolutely. Send me a PM detailing what you need help on!
GuardianOfSanction
I have a WIP that is about 7 years now. Not because its long, it's like 99% done. My anxiety about it being not perfect keeps me waiting. :|
IdleProse
Fuck perfect. Perfect is the enemy of the good. Confront your fear, push it over that last percentage, and declare it done. Good luck!
zeradeth
Don't worry about it being pretty at first. Just write the rest of it, whatever comes to mind. Then pretty it up later.
zeradeth
Think of it this way: Your perfect is not going to be the same as someone else's. Someone is going to think it is absolutely brilliant.
PlutoForPresident2016
Mine has been nearly two years in the making. Granted, most of that is due to time off for school and shit, but damn do I need this!
zeradeth
I spent my entire high school career writing my novel. I got it done and graduated with honors. It can be done, my friend!
candle340
I'm on my third year
zeradeth
I'm still not done editing the stupid manuscript. I've been trying to for the last six months.
drbarrel
I started to write a screenplay of the creepypasta Happy Appy, I did barely get to 5% of it. I blame it on my ADD. 1/2
drbarrel
I really want to continue, but I dont know if I have the patience for it. :'(
zeradeth
Okay so I can't find the other 1/2 of this reply and I'm thinking that was deliberate. If so, you are fucking brilliant and I applaud you.
drbarrel
I really want to continue, but I dont know if I have the patience for it. :'( 2/2 I really would need some help.
zeradeth
Sometimes all you need to get back your inspiration is another person's advice/opinion.
zeradeth
If you send me what you have of it, I can look it over and give you some pointers if you wanted.
drbarrel
Really? That's nice, but have you read the creepy pasta before?
insanitune
PRO TIP: DON'T EDIT UNTIL YOU'RE COMPLETELY DONE WITH YOUR NOVEL
HPWombat
Pro tip: Use the above advice, unless you have discovered that editing as you go works for you. Every novelist is different.
AmalieTheDane
As someone who just started a screenwriting education, this is actually kind of useful.
ibroughtcake
Between NaNoWriMo and the email I got from Lift today and this, I feel like I'm the only one not writing a novel. Is it okay that I'm not?
HPWombat
It is. Although writing a novel is one of those things that fixes any mood. "I'm single and 30 and childless but at least I wrote a novel"
MaybeGrapes
This just convinced me to write the world's worst novel this month.
MaybeGrapes
1594 words tonight. I'll keep you guys updated.
CaptSlowShow
Or force yourself to write 50k in a month. You'll hate yourself but you'll have that novel.
jbfett
Quick, someone send this to George R.R. Martin
MogarIsReady
Does this apply to us Playwrights as well?
pogon
Pity that my 350 words a day of Imgur comments don't actually make a novel.
somethingcatsrelated
Dickbutt: A Memoir
pogon
It's been said that inside every reporter there's a novel. And it's better kept in there. That goes double for your title.
RackaDishiprine
Not with that attitude!
pogon
Poke. Am I making you anxious yet?
pogon
@pleasedontrespondtomycommentsitmakesmeanxious how about now?
RackaDishiprine
I did have a heart attack seeing I had 3 notifications...
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RackaDishiprine
Shit I'd read it
RackaDishiprine
Also, yes
HomelingRazor
oh, but they tell a story!
WebDevJewelerReptileLover
mine tells the story of a dude who is sick of whiny bitches
pogon
So do Markov chain programs, that doesn't make them worth reading in bulk.
auraza
is it the fifth twilight book?
pogon
No, I'd be writing 50 Shades of Latex, if I were writing a novel.
TadpoleHitler
Mein tell the story of the 4th Reich. #TadpoleMasterRace
Eogos
I'm pretty sure I have the 4th Reich in dogs... I have a German shepherd, a Dutch shepherd, and a Malinoise (Belgium shepherd)...
Seanalanmorris
Have they invaded any other dog's territory or started conscripting pups?
Eogos
They constantly want to murder the small dogs next door and seem to only like other dogs that are submissive to them...
Seanalanmorris
Ze Reich shall rise again, und zis time... no more mister nice-guy.
TravDrinksBeer
Fade to black
diregamer
Still a better love story then twilight.
TadpoleHitler
NotaMuggle121
Than!!
batlrar
Wouldn't be a bad book idea. Jamming them all in without any context whatsoever! I mean ... except for this comment.
pogon
I've read experimental fiction, eg _Tree of Codes_, and Oulipo texts, I don't think this would cut it.
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batlrar
Nice! Take my well-deserved upvotes! Heck, I'll even buy a copy the book if you get it published or donate to a kickstarter for it!
Pumpkinbot
New project: Write a novel in Imgur comments, but in parts, on hundreds of different posts.
pogon
Sounds like an easy task for a bot.
flummoxed0709
Anthology bitches! Did I use that word right?
pogon
Yes, I think you used "bitches" correctly.
bigdickden
unless...
pogon
Someone already wrote that: www.amazon.com/Unless-by-Carol-Shields/dp/0007137699/
BreaphGoat82
Hey I've seen coffee tables about dumber subjects and Amazon has self publish..... hint.
iamthisguy247
Just break your writing assignment into 164 character digestible mouthfuls.
pogon
Where do the extra 14 characters come from?
jiffener
Er, extra 24, right?
pogon
Yes.
DarthW33zy
You could write "Memoirs of an Imgurian" or "Memoirs of Pogon"
pogon
Pogon's Blather
LizardEnterprises
Just string them together nonsensically. It'll still be a better story than twilight.
pogon
Javert in Ferguson with the if-your-brave-enough toy while thats-my-fetish.gif plays in the Mystery Machine.
LizardEnterprises
#TeamFetishGif!
pogon
Team motivator:
vegivamp
Bundle and publish. Can't be worse than a Dan Brown novel.
pogon
Do you read experimental fiction? Does "Oulipo" mean anything to you? I'm pretty sure it's not that exciting as a whole.
vegivamp
I have never heard of that. I should make more time for reading.
pogon
The most famous piece is "A Void", the book without the letter "e". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Void
vegivamp
Looks pretty interesting. I shall add it to the list!
Sebastiaan
you should try it. no context, just copy paste every comment into a word doc.
pogon
I'll let you know if I do.
Kehmon
You know I always thought Twilight read like the bastard offspring of someone churning out Twitter feeds and Tumblr posts...
pogon
That's probably why it appealed so well to that audience. (I haven't read any of it.)
althanan
I write like 4000 words a day for work. You'd be shocked how hard it is to do another 3-400 for a book :/
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pogon
Read again. I was describing MY comments.
TamirLenk
I am showing you the way, grasshopper.
pogon
Koans make more sense than random comments.
arcke
Not with that attitude
pogon
Anagrams to "TitNT without the data", which does resemble user sub...
thisappisajoke
Lies. I used to follow and was quite a friend to, a comedian when Myspace was still "new" ish. He published a book with his "blogs" 1/2
thisappisajoke
2/2 and I was mentioned in his book along with a few other close friends and followers. =P
pogon
It's not lies to say MY COMMENTS wouldn't make a good novel.
dewstain
Still better than Twilight.
kinknur
Or... Or do they?
gunn
That sounds like a challenge.
IdeleteMyTopComments
If one person took the time to write a novel out of imgur comments I would PayPal then 10$
pogon
It would be hard to read with all the corrections on the next line, like "*them" and "*$10".
jiffener
But that's only two dollars for decimal people
pogon
I'm going to make my preferred counting system sexagesimal (base 60) just for Mr "binary version of 'imgur<3'".
10art1
Do it, faget!
TheLivinLegend
If you ever get famous you can delete your original account and sell a book full of your imgur quotes
serenitychick
Awesome Now, text me constant reminders and ego boosts as needed.
IAmAladeen
You can probably do it!
Procrastinating4Dayz
You are a gentlewoman and a scholar.
serenitychick
LOL You guys are the best.
Drlakata
I could get you subscribed to cat facts if that'll help.
PeskyGentlemen
Ummm... you can do it?
Xyzair
.-. wait so there isn't a link to a website that sends automatic texts?
ChipMercury
You can do it!
DVSBSTrD
ME CONSTANT REMINDERS AND EGO BOOSTS AS NEEDED!
t00tie
This is your daily reminder rock star!
Granolaclusters
I'm assuming you're a lady by your username. You have such a nice (insert best feature), and always remember you have the power within you.
GregoryHouseMD
Has anyone told you just how amazing you are, today? I wanted to be the first, but even if someone already has you should hear it again.
bthighlander
I'll support you if you support me. Quit making excuses, sit, write. You can do it!
Maie13
I believe in you! You are the voice of a generation!
georgiaoqueef
This seems like a really great app idea. I'll write it tomorrow.
disruptedvice
You go, Glen Coco.
SphereOfNoForm
you can do it! ;)
SandInYourVagina
My law professor promoted writing drunk and editing sober. Got so much done that way.
eatingketchupchips
your law professor stole ernest hemingway. does your law professor also suggest plagiarism when the going gets tough.
SandInYourVagina
He stole Hemingway? Where did he take him? Should we be on the lookout?
linkskywalker14
I tried this. There's a whole page in my "hard lessons learned about writing" book dedicated to how alcohol doesn't help me.
stevenwonder
Resort to other drugs.
HaberdasherInGold
In his book On Writing, stephen king talks about how he was so drunk that he can't remember writing Cujo. He regrets it terribly, (1/2)
HaberdasherInGold
and now only recommends caffiene to help write. (2/2)
vauhtihirmu
Yeah, alcohol impedes the creation of memories. Though I'd imagine being simply timpsy might be small enough dosage to counter that?
RepresentingTheRepublicOfEzo
my adviser suggested double fisting: beer in one hand, coffee in the other.
joejoejoeyjoejoejuniorshabadoo
The Internet has ruined me. "Double fisting" made me spit coffee e everywhere.
vauhtihirmu
I'm sure double fisting would help writing those raunchier scenes.
althanan
This is what's always worked best for me when I've been stuck. Combining both loosens the mind & keeps you going w/o messing you up too bad.
MajorLeagueFister
Jesus christ almighty how did that never occur to me. I need to get to the store.
demonato
This is how I get my "Best" ideas that I worry about out.
MrMineHeads
Dude your username +1
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
That's a Hemingway quote, iirc. So is "The first draft of everything is shit."
ImmortalAzrael
I can't remember who but another writer said "The first six drafts are terrible".
RoseNoot
This is why me and the rest of my English major friends would drink together so often.
RoseNoot
Well that and because of our hopeless, jobless futures.
dhelsan
I might crack that whisky open... shame I'm poor and can't afford a glass or two five times a week.
DVSBSTrD
As an American: Now if only I could stand the taste of beer.
momenta
As an american.. splain pls
DVSBSTrD
Because everyone says our beer sucks.
CanadiansWilllRule
people say American beer sucks, maybe the alcohol content is lower or something? idk
momenta
Is that really a thought? Here in Michigan i can get any style craft beer under the sun.
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
How is that related to your nationality in any way?
DVSBSTrD
see my reply to momenta.
DrBourbonTheOriginal
I used to write drunk until I could no longer read my own writing. Best things I've ever written.
DrNulbuks
In 10th grade my friend got pissed, and wrote a short story about a cat with cancer. The teacher got him a B+.
Morebunnies
Hey, that's how I passed creative writing! Then we'd all have to get a drink after class cuz non-fiction is basically a therapy session...
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
The worst part about writing a novel is that midway point where your whole existence screams in pain and everything is shit.
thornykins
As someone who wrote 30000 words over the weekend to finish NaNoWriMo... This. All of this.
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
Fucking impressive in my opinion. I have failed NaNo so many times, I decided to sit this one out.
thornykins
This was the first year I've won, out of five. So I'm pleased. And sleep deprived.
Kittens3
"Midway point", more like every time I pick up the pen or open Word...feels bad man.
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
Man, I hug you, cause I know that pain. Had a year or two where I could not write, because it send me down a bad spiral.
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IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
Because quality easily gets to your head when your internal editor won't shut up (know the feeling) & it's what I did with my writing. [2/?]
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
This may sound stupid, but it may help it if you change the outlook. I mean try writing for the fun of it and personal enjoyment. [1/?]
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
Not saying I don't worry about the quality, but first I have all the fun I can with what batshit crazy stuff I imagine & it's better. [3/3]
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Coppermantis
This. 180,000 words so far, reading back and groaning in pain at what I thought were good ideas.
DarthFutuza
Its so hard not to tear it up and give up at this point.
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
Holy shit, what epic are you writing?! I commend on having written as much. Better on the page than not at all.
Coppermantis
Thanks. Been working on this novel for a few years, started it in 10th grade. It does feel good to have written, I can always make it better
IWriteBadThingsHappeningtoBrokenPeople
I admire people who managed to write so much on a story. I am on the slim side of the spectrum - all I write is very lean.
tortfeasor
Amazing, the advice amounts to: "In order to write a book, sit down and write a book!" Shocking!
Procrastinating4Dayz
But that's exactly the point. Being productive is simple, but not easy. Students know what I'm talking about. Also, relevant username.
azurepenguin
Procrastinating4Dayz y'all
ImmortalAzrael
If you look up advice from published writers this is pretty much what they all say. They also admit how hard it is to follow that advice.
outlawsoul
yes, this advice is mostly garbage.
LizLemmon
Small steady steps get most long-term projects done. I am a scientist. Ideas are cheap but the rest is just work work work.
HighwayToTheDangerZone
I mean yeah but the point he was trying to make overall is: consistency & determination over time = long-form results. not just "sit down."
tortfeasor
If you work really hard for a long time, you can achieve something! Of course, this is precisely where people fail, drive and determination.
HighwayToTheDangerZone
Right. Write! And way, way less imgur. Old habits die so hard though. WILLPOWER
AndSoAdInfinitum
The most important part is that it defines daily goals that can reasonably be hit, and rewards that you can always look forward to.
HaberdasherInGold
You don't seem to understand how critical his advice is. The key to writing is making a habit of it.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
I think it's about overcoming the paralyzing feeling of actually making something that feels overwhelmingly too big to tackle
blainetog
It's shocking how many "writers" need that exact advice.
UpvoteFairee
You can use that figure of speech for anything. What he did was give a simple guideline for writing a bookthat is easy in theory to complete
tortfeasor
"Just work hard at something and you can achieve your objective" is absolutely true, and completely unhelpful. It's not really insightful.
vamenn
And yet this is the very step where 95% of writers fail. It's often good to be reminded. BIC HOK, as they say.
UpvoteFairee
Saying just work hard and providing a planned outline of steps is not the same
krypet007
but all the steps are "work hard(er) for long(er)"
iamthisguy247
Hey OP, are you working on your novel? Gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Nice little narrative?..
CavityShark
Lol why isn't this the top comment!!??
iamthisguy247
Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? Your main character is richer from the experience?
theblackcanaryyy
Family guy... yessss
Thymocyte
Haha, I can hear it.
kurastwolf
Gotta big stack of papers there? Maybe your main character gets into a relationship? Suffers a little heartbreak?
azurepenguin
Some twists and turns? A little epilogue? Everybody learns that the hero's journey isn't always a happy one?
beingapainiskindofmything
Commenting strictly because I want to use this later
azurepenguin
(ಠ ›ಠ) http://genius.com/Seth-macfarlane-that-novel-youre-working-on-family-guy-annotated
Ankshar
All the win for this comment tree
tooks
As I read this comment tree in my head the voice got progressively more high pitched. I love you all.
vauhtihirmu
Mine was a slightly drunken aussie accent for some reason...
azurepenguin
The thing about imgur is that I take a ton of downvotes for stating my opinion, but then even it out with silly comments like this one :P