yagisan
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This is how I found him about 6 am on the shore at Perdido Key, FL. He wasn't moving and I wasn't sure if he was dead. He was at least 7-8 ft long.
You can see how he wasn't able to breathe with his blowhole in the surf. After taking this pic, I saw his eye blink, and then I decided to act. I went in to the surf and rolled him over so he could breathe. He drew in a big breath and then started to struggle a little.
Luckily a couple came walking by, and after talking with them for a minute, they decided to help. They grabbed his tail and pulled while I kept him upright and pushed on his dorsal fin. After a minute - success!!
Pwnochio
This should have started with "The sea was angry that day my friends.."
FrecklesAndTeeth
Bitch, I might have..
weregonnaneedashitloadofdimes
Talked with them for a minute, got brunch, had an orgy, came back and pushed the dolphin back in the sea. Priorities
Nipplesr4suckas
They're never gonna evolve if you keep throwing back in!!!
SaintRock
Depressed dolphin can't even kill itself correctly.
Neominister
I read that as "what did you have for breakfast? I bet it wasn't dolphin!"
TotallyNotYourCat
PLOT TWIST: Pictures are in reverse order.
shedoo
Lots of times dolphins/whales beach themselves if they are sick and know they're about to die.
EndersShadow
I thought it was going here
7543
Lmfao, I'm done! Take this upvote.
Reptarr
I did not eat a dolphin for breakfast today.
completelyunfiltered
Had I been you I would've been having free sushi for breakfast and not been a pompous ass about it.
ralphfiennes
Good one OP
BurtReynolds
first positive comment. +1 to you!!
ralphfiennes
:* Voldemort kisses
wolfbyblood
Off to rape some humans
Christianabanana
So long and thanks for all the fish!
LosPer
"Is anybody here a marine biologist!?!?"
sil3ntech0
Beached dolphins should NOT be pushed back to sea. Instead, call the marine mammal stranding network. http://www.imms.org/whattodo.php
Melody21
You might want to get yourself checked - you could potentially be a carrier for a disease that may effect your pets or other's pets.
harleyhugger
Thank you. Very useful information. These should be posted on beaches.
f5fotoz
please clarify…are they sick?
sil3ntech0
Often times they are diseased or injured and will beach again in another spot. They can also infect other dolphins and humans as well.
JerryGallo
As someone who grew up in FL on the water, I didn't know that. Thanks
Elonth
alternate title: OP saves a serial rapist before breakfast!
AliceFaere
I almost woke up before breakfast today. Almost...
ShinyObject
I woke up before breakfast! When you make it at your house, breakfast is "anytime"! Including noon...
TomAtofromPalletTown
What did I do before breakfast? I woke up. It's not a fucking competition.
kruton93
What if the other dolphins chose to execute him this way for his horrible deeds, and you just saved a criminal dolphin?
GingerTheBeard
YEAH! he coulda been a dolphin rapist/serial killer!
BluHaze
All dolphins are serial rapists.
ThisCommentWasAutomaticallyGeneratedByImgurViralizer
Actually, with dolphins it's more likely they were punishing him for NOT being a rapist....
SpoonOfDoom
Well, I didn't kill a dolphin before breakfast. That's gotta count for something too, right?
Daggaroth
"How are we supposed to evolve if you people keep pushing us back into the ocean?!" - Dolphin
klausnominomi
Hfw http://imgur.com/ah1NE4n
dirtyketchup
Igotthatreference.pdf
AlpinestarRidingDouche
CobraHands
I have seen that Tree House of Horror
BrainBlow
Fuck you, Dolphin! You guys evolved to go INTO the water. Land too good for you, huh?
[deleted]
[deleted]
WhiteGuyNamedJaCrispy
You people?!
eggmuffin
That makes no sense. They already evolved from land mammals. Their supercharged musculature and lung capacity gave them a real edge in water
iprettymuchonlycommentwithgifs
looks like it evolved into a shark.
squarrel
"Fish are friends, NOT food"
thehappiestpersononimgur
Names Bruce!
BJZuckerkorn
"A dolphin saved is a dolphin earned" -Bob Ross
seashamoorun
"I think Bob Ross is hawt: - Mr. ROGERS
eissie
Don't point out the vijayjay....
Cmitry
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LadyTotesMcGoats
well it could be a male they keep the penis inside not dangling out so it kindda comes out of a slit and yea...
ItsCaptain0bvious
Oh yes, the Ladyboi dolphin species, originating from the Gulf of Thailand.
GingerJuice
Don't scroll back up to check it out...
GingerJuice
shit
beautifulpeanutbutter
I just did.
deadcow
Its a male. Female dolphins have one long slit, where males have 2, with a "taint" in the middle like an exclamation point.
NotACanadian
!
Elonth
that might not be a vajayjay
Glumerlink
There's an equal chance of it being a penis. When not erect it is inside of them
rebel9
HAH, gaaaaaaay!
Spune
That's actually a Cloaca. It might be a male (not positive, I'm not zoologist, just a guy who knows a lot of useless facts about animals)
falksalt
Spune
I don't understand why this gif, but I like it!
falksalt
I just like people with a lot of "useless" knowledge
Spune
Haha, I didn't even get into the things I wish I didn't know about what's inside the cloaca.
guilelessgull
last pic - if I was swimming and saw that I'd shit the biggest shit ever shat
ErmegerdPerpkerrn
GreatOdinsRaven
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr05/20/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-27952-1384966565-36.gif
GreatOdinsRaven
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr05/20/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-27952-1384966565-36.gif
sunnystayposi
Also if it's that close to the shore, you could probably run before it would catch you. You're not constricted by depth of water.
LetsGoWVU
If it were a shark, two fins would be cutting the water because of their vertical tail.
CoconutCyclone
If a shark is so far up in the water that you can see the dorsal fin, you will also see the tail fin, as they are longer.
EwItsthatOneGirl
and sharks usually aren't that far up near the surface to begin with anyway. they tend to avoid shallows as well.
sumsuminfl
a shark fin is more triangular not bent looking
YesWeHaveRunningWaterInMaine
Fun fact: Shitting oneself is a common defense mechanism of marine animals, as it tends to deter predators (go figure?). Good choice :P
JerryGallo
That sight is so common here in FL if I saw a shark I would probably just assume it was a dolphin.. and get eaten.
HanSolo312
Once when I was like 10 at was at a bay connected to the Gulf and I was like 50 yards out on a floatie and saw like 50 dorsal fins 1/2
HanSolo312
So of course I immediatelly assumed sharks and freaked out and missed a cool opportunity to be right near a pod of Dolphins. 2/2
akom
I've had dolphins swim under me while surfing. It's a little nerve wracking, TBH. I mean, they're still wild animals.
Odderpop
So long and thanks for all the fish.
ArcaneM37
And, ya know... the saving my life thing.
Jenicsaco
Watch him re-strand again because he was sick, and die...Call your local wildlife or marine mammal network and get proper help.
alohaemily93
as a future marine biologist who helps with marine mammal strandings; THIS. they almost ALWAYS are sick when stranded.
[deleted]
[deleted]
OhNoIBlinked
Ahhh heartbreaking. But good to know..
borntrill
Yeah, dude, should've left him there to properly die. Bad job trying flipping over a drowning dolphin before calling the proper authorities
BluHaze
The problem is no authorities were called. The guy just pushed it out to sea, and the dolphin died not long after.
DukeTO
You would be the one at that party, who won't stop preaching about the artificial colouring in the Doritos.
RetConMan
The germ poison in there would probably be a bigger problem, but MSG and artificial dyes don't help.
NotoriousDuchess
Everybody knows one... "No thanks, although I completely respect your decision to poison your body with that filth."
Jenicsaco
No way, Doritos are one of my kitchen staples. :P
aerryl
Some dolphins get beached chasing fish into the surf and hydroplaning to catch them, however it should be reported before you do anything.
TintreachToirneach
They're very intelligent, some willingly strand themselves intentionally when they're diseased. Sometimes healthy members of the school 1/2
TintreachToirneach
refuse to abandon them, even in shallow water, and get stranded too. This could have been intentional, but best to report anyway. 2/2
MakingUpAUsernameIsTerrifying
Was anyone there a marine biologist?!
DoYaLikeDags
I looked for this comment immediately after I saw the picture.
onetee
I am so annoyed I had to get this far down to find this.
robotzombies
You're lumpy and you smell bad. Marine biologist.
youreathing
The sea was angry that day my friends! Like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli!
cvsprinterfilms
You have no idea how badly I was expecting this comment.
GingerTheBeard
i reached into the blowhole and pulled out the offending obstruction!
UnpopularOpinionPuffinPersonified
A HOLE IN ONE!!!
IDontSeeEnoughDarkTowerOnImgur
If he invites you into his cave, say no.
Iamnotacleverman12321
sounds very fishy...
Cholf
Say yes, maybe he has candy and fine wine and wishes to talk about politics....
tunacupcake
I came back for this. Though if you gave him a headless fish, you'd probably be safe.
DoogieHowitzerMD
Don't drink the bailey's from a shoe if he offers, and if he tells you his name is Old Greg, run!
iamireland
http://youtu.be/5qP2hXUwQTM?t=4m33s
Pyrowolf1
Dolphins don't invite, they drag forcefully
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
How about yes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Odincdaj522004
"...y'ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?"
BuckBoost
Daggermouth strikes again!
everfuckingusernameisalreadytaken
I read a fictional story about a boy having a sexual encounter with a dolphin once
ilikedogsdogsarecool
it's not rape if you say yes
AssRanger
PuppiesStartedEveryWar
It's not rape if it's an animal without the cognitive capacity to rape or be raped!
shadowfallen
Makes me sad for all the creatures it took to define that law and won't be protected in future..
Ivaer
Technically it is still rape as long as a person is the victim: 2. Any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
thedevil
Just making sure everyone knows that the whole dolphin rape thing has been largely discredited as myth and hyperbole.
IDontSeeEnoughDarkTowerOnImgur
Agreed, but the crowd has decided people shouldn't know.
AKittenRidingABurritoThroughSpace
But... but we've seen the gif and gifs don't lie.
flyingdutchfrenchman
What are you guys talking about ?
Rotty
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090410232052/uncyclopedia/images/c/ce/Dolphin_rape.gif
IDontSeeEnoughDarkTowerOnImgur
Looks consensual to me.
[deleted]
[deleted]
IDontSeeEnoughDarkTowerOnImgur
While I know that, it doesn't make for a funny comment.
falksalt
[Imgur](
)
DontWorryYouCanTrustMe
So long and thanks for the mammaries.
Dentt42
I am obligated to upvote this.
StopSigningMeOutImgurIPressedRememberMeGodFuckingDamnIt
*sighs and unzips*
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
IMakeUpRandomFacts
Could've had dolphin sex.
MobileUserGundam
Huh, raping dolphins back? A novel idea.
CareIDoNot
You are a sick fuck. I love it
bathsaltfaceeater
This is how the blowhole was cleared.
NotACanadian
Dolphins actually do use their blowhole for that sort of thing, you know.
geiokami
Dolphin sex is awsome.
KimJongUnceUnceUnce
"dad, whats the blow-hole for." "i'll tell you what it's NOT for, son. and when i do, you'll understand why i can never go back to sea-world
Nightowljrm
Ah, Family Guy. +1
Luminousfox
not sure if its a male or female dolphin
BringBackSnacks
Doesn't matter, had sex
doufancyapickle
There's actually a guide.... they have to come onto you
FacelessGod
Yup, a guy wrote a book about his experience having an affair with a dolphin in captivity. "Wet Goddess" it's called.
NotAPervert
but if they do, oooohhhhh boy are you in for a wild ride!
asharkwithfeet
Never do this. Most strandings re-strand immediately and get injured. Report it to your local stranding office:
FormerAOLerIDidntSendYouThoseCDsInThe90s
I didn't even know this was a thing. Huh. Good info.
Nood1e
"local stranding office"? Where do you live? Narnia?
asharkwithfeet
http://www.nmfs.noaa.gov/pr/health/networks.htm
princeofmaine
If I could, I'd upvote you so many times
UnpinionedPoplars
Please upvote this; people want to help and need to know how to do it properly.
carcusgod
Dolphins do this when they are sick or hurt. They carry diseases transferable to humans. Calling for help is the best way to help them.
Helloooooonurse
Completely agree, there's often a reason for strandings, get help and just try to keep the animal wet and upright until they arrive
SandFox
+1 for being the only comment so far to actually say what you ARE supposed to do and not just say don't push them back out.
DezTurkish
I wouldn't say 'never' do this. That sounds like an easy way to give up on any of them. Maybe not all of them perish when you set them right
asharkwithfeet
Never do this unless absolutely necessary, then. There are ways to help but you should let professionals handle it:
asharkwithfeet
http://mmi.oregonstate.edu/ommsn/outreach/dos-donts
askre
A lot of the recent stranding were also due to a bacterial infection going around on marine life.This dolphin could have been seriously sick
ScottishLasseh
No but some will die slowly and painfully either starving or drowning (I'm a stranding rescuer) You want to take that chance?
DezTurkish
Yes, because there could be a chance they would go off. They would have starved anyway if I'd ignored it the first time.
ScottishLasseh
Not if you had called it in to the local stranding response team, we work on an on-call system ready for these events
DezTurkish
Ooh, I see your point now. Okay good to know, thanks.