mufasa1028
187155
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While she keeps trying to pump the brake that isn't there
In a heartbeat
PrivateNoodles
@OP for #1 you mean the holy shit handles
bambulina
Shared many of these in a minor meme-war with an old friend... Thanks for the cannon fodder! :D
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Have a day @OP
BurnTheLemons
#5 Hits home as an infertile person I've dreampt so often about mine and my partners child. Those moments when I've just woken are like 1/2
BurnTheLemons
being 16 and getting the news all over again. Like a punch to the gut 2/2
skzrhndz
Hartbreaking
Tamaril
#5 Was deeply depressed and had these kinds of dreams that made me never want to wake up again. It killed me every time
CanadianCyborg
Try getting those freezies to do that while still liquid.
NaughtButOne
#8 as a resident old fart, I feel that I must defend my people. "You're such a baby!" is secret code for "I'm so old". No ill intent.
MrEnge
Aha! Technically the Bahamas aren’t on the Caribbean, so you would be a pirate of the pseudo-caribbean!
MostGloriousSatan
queenmaster1028(;
ilikeyourpics
MostGloriousSatan
queenmaster1028(;
puppiesandbeeritswhywerehere
#5 I often have dreams that my brothers never died and it was all a bad dream as I cry and hug them, usually wake up actually sobbing
BigSecksi
Right there with you somehow my brain convinces me my friends aren't dead weekly. Really rough way to start your day.
Thudjy
#6 I needed that. Thanks
mufasa1028
One of my favorites
Merrak
Hope you are well friend. :)
catwilsonaz
#3 definitely read that in Archer's voice
Caniac
Not me, I totally read that in Bob Belcher's voice. Off topic: I've just learned there's a movie in the works
UnrealPie
Im hitting 26 in December.. omg this one.. Im already dead for like two days after drinking
coxworth
#3 I ask because sometimes you have a great day and want to talk about it, or a shitty day and need to unload.
nathanielac
Thank you. I peed twice while taking a dump looking at your dump.
mufasa1028
Haha job complete
CaptainMiffles
#3 as a brit, me too.
spyguy59
#8 I've been a manager at this restaraunt since I was 17. I get the "I'm older than you so you're not my boss" treatment all the time.
automaticallymoderated
Who does the interviews?
spyguy59
I've done several. Usually it's not the people I hire that act like that.
automaticallymoderated
Maybe interview them all yourself (second interview if someone else generally does hiring). Weeding out shitheads early on is worth the time
Burylown
Hartbreaking. Hart. Breaking. HARTBREAKING.
mroranges
Brett Hart.
MisterDictionary
Yes. It shatters deer.
Sighhhh
Hartbreaking
ohshitausername
#5 is too real. I had a dream last night that I found my dog and he didn't actually get put down. Woke up crying. I miss him :(
automaticallymoderated
I think of those dreams as “visits.” They make me happy.
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
Sp1ffy
BUT LOOK HIS IS SMALLER
synfinitehell
Exactly. Comment of the day right here
iSAIDgoodDaYYsir
I like that the dog has a baby sized one
TheCorgurian
But why is there a little Michelin man on the table?
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
Fav food, fav juice, fav toy.
neutronfish
And that is one cute dog. Doodle mixes are great. Very chill and very smart.
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
I want one for the kids, neighbor has one that the kids love. My wife ONLY likes Bostons. Might just show up on Xmas with one though.
jaydawgx7
#5 though. Going through that every night dreaming about the person im still insanely in love with that left. Give me more nightmares
PrincessCatBucket
That last one is only possible when they're already frozen though
PmMeGifsForSauce
The rivets on the floor of the freezer help it to stand up.
PrincessCatBucket
But the top half would just flop over
PmMeGifsForSauce
Not if you lean it up against the wall of the freezer. Plus they usually are full enough to not just fall over.
LtMashumaro
Yeah, I tried freezing them upright too. They never fucking froze! Explain this shit.
NATA5
Read that in a Russian accent for some reason.
Underc0verGinger
Because you saw Putin in the pic before it?
Feronach
I read in a stereotypical Chinese accent that no asians actuarry sound rike.
blairmichod
I can sound like that if you pay me enough.
xJustAGuy
Same...
whitewolf863
Same but with Nikolai’s voice from the COD: nazi zombie franchise. Much better.
maxx0r
John is kill
theshrektacularshrek
No
LordSupergreat
I just googled that cat blog, and apparently it's run by a notorious transphobe. Shame.
stiligFox
#1 is known in the field as an “oh shit bar”
stiligFox
(Called it that to the guy at the junkyard - he laughed and typed that it as the item on my receipt)
idrinkcheapbeer
#5 Can confirm. I had a dream I was talking to my son. He's 11, has autism and has never said a word.
automaticallymoderated
Maybe that was his way. The dream was a gift.
LadyTashviv
My best friend died 7 years ago. I used to dream that she was alive every night, and I got so confused what's real and not. Now I see it as
LadyTashviv
I get to talk to her. It felt unfair at first, but really, I get to do what I never thought possible again. cherish those dreams <3
BigSecksi
Yeah my subconscious convinces me my best friends are still alive at least once a week. It is a horrible way to wake up.
LadyTashviv
It is for sure. I'm sorry for your loss. It doesn't get better, but you learn to live with it.
stigmaoftherose
Does he know sign language? Some autistic people can't bring themselves to talk vocally but can communicate with sign language
idrinkcheapbeer
No, he doesn't sign.
SlyeFox
What about via texting?
idrinkcheapbeer
No, he doesn't text or use a computer to communicate.
Frigateer
#24 that would only get to 50 mph. To get to 60 it'd need to be falling for 2.73 seconds
tsaroth
in a vacuum as well
Frigateer
Why do I have nothing better to be doing on a Saturday night than this?
0neDoesNotSimplyImgur
<3
Flyndaran
I did the same thing, because it felt a little fast for the old 9.8 m/s/s NERDS! ;)
ThIsAnNoYsPeOpLe
r/theydidthemath :)
ThIsAnNoYsPeOpLe
*they did the math
mufasa1028
*they did the meth
ThIsAnNoYsPeOpLe
lol
ThIsAnNoYsPeOpLe
*they did meth