WinnerArpit
208812
3966
102
This is the best way to use a portal gun...
Dec 11, 2017 5:44 PM
WinnerArpit
208812
3966
102
This is the best way to use a portal gun...
Nevermour
I'd use it to go to work or the store since I don't have a car
TwoReds
RoovyRoo
I've seen concept art and there exists a better way
hardstuffdontgothroughwalls
Is this the best way to use a portal gun?
TerribleTortuga
One word, "Autofellatio"
TGIBallsWorth
I can think of some better ways
v
AsAHistorian
I'm baffled that I've never seen this on Imgur before now.
BillHaleyandHisBANNEDComments2
2nd best
DeakVanNyke
oh, honey.... stay forever that innocent, never change.
Ijustsigneduptoupvotethis
This was an amazing short movie
ProbablyNotABotButHowCanIBeSure
This is the best way to use a portal gun...
TheFirstCurse
This is the best way to use a portal gun...
marcazap
Oh so its not to jerk yourself off then.....right
Priceman5
SECOND best way.
SpaceGaucho
sauce https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NorZUFfpvC0
HoboTerry
Ass to ass.
wantednokes
Show of upvotes, who would give themselves oral?
0hnonono
Self 69
ManMashine
The PG edition :P
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
Is that possible?
0hnonono
ARussianAndHisBike
Yes. Yes it is. Take your +1 now..
SaitamaSaysOk
yelkcubnwahs
This is A way to use a portal gun.
SanguinariAlativari
Id eat my own ass
ThePrettiestPete
I'd do this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY&feature=youtu.be
[deleted]
[deleted]
FuckKnows
If you used portals to fuck yourself in the ass are...are you gay?
Popnitro
You gotta really yell "No Homo" for that one.
FuckKnows
I thought that was fir when two guys balls rub together for longer than 25m
Doubledingleberry68
Honestly id suck my own dick nohomo
TheGhostofElizabethShue
It's more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked. Er... Apparently.
HurricaneShade
THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO USE A PORTAL GUN
hibsta
This is the best way to use a portal gun
HurricaneShade
He just seemed to be yelling...lol
Jack0307
This is far tamer than I was expecting.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
It'd be pretty awesome for a long distance relationship too.
YourWaifuIsTrash
as long as you don't accidentally walk through a Material Emancipation Grill by accident, then you'd need to get it set up all over again.
FuzzyX
Or just put one end on Mars. We would have the first city built in under a week.
FuzzyX
My point was that with exclusive Mars access there is no shortage of investment. Then about what global business can high priority achieve.
Cobaltios
Didn't Portal 2 confirm it only works on very specific surfaces? Namely, moon dust?
Spitfire2865
Ok. Put moondust on Mars. THEN build the city.
vorodar
Yes, they also had the thing to coat the surface with, so it's fine - apply a bit of paint treat some metal sheet with it and you're done.
FuzzyX
Flat white areas. Mars does have ice sheets and sand dunes.
TheAuthorOfTheJournalsMyBrother
No, it's moon rocks. That's how the portals actually work and why Cave Johnson died
GoldenSun3DS
But then all the atmosphere on Earth would leak to Mars through the portal and you've killed Earth.
chuckles11
Forget atmosphere, what would that do with gravity? Imagine opening up a portal between earth and Jupiter? Would Earth get sucked thru?
yennek
We could have a facility in earth’s orbit or somewhat close to earth and have the other in mar’s orbit.
Enoan
extrapolating from https://what-if.xkcd.com/14/ you would face a super sonic wind through the portal. This could be remedied with a airlock.
FuzzyX
There is such a thing as an airlock but even with no airlock it would still take many millions of years.
ThatOneNerdNobodyCaresAbout
Actually, because mars is a considerably smaller planet, it would not only take a lot less time, but would balance out, resulting in a 1/2
ThatOneNerdNobodyCaresAbout
Thinner, though possibly breathable atmosphere on both planets for a time.
Angelsemoule
Workable with an intermediary room. Still much MUCH easier than going the distance.
cbjfan
And going for speed?
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Is she all alone?
notanimposter
Put one in a different star system. Eliminate the light speed limit problem so people in Proxima Centauri can watch TV in real time
FuzzyX
It is hard enough to get one on Mars but to get one lightyears away is damned near impossible. I would not say impossible though.
vampirehedgehog
The portals are sent at light speed. Have fun trying to aim the portal over interstellar distances while leading your target by 4 years.
pyrrhlis
Math bitch
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
I'd be impressed with anyone shoving an entire city through a hole that small, assemble it on the other side, all in under a week. Wow!
FuzzyX
I was thinking of those Chinese workers who can assemble an apartment block in under a week but prefabricated units would be best.
BigAdam
Ikea and China combine into a new super power. On MARS.
FuzzyX
If they are both best at getting the work done then why not.
Angelsemoule
Hace you ever been resettling ? Amazing what can go through narrow doors.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Wat?!
FuzzyX
Never tried moving a sofa up a staircase? Portals come close to door size allowing most furniture etc to fit.
BoozeHound001
I think we know the best use
ThePrettiestPete
So this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY&feature=youtu.be
ThirstyCalifornian
Fuck I love this song
Helihat
DeathclawDefibrillator
Gradwin
aTOMicfusion
I am strangely aroused
ThePrettiestPete
Or this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY&feature=youtu.be
imnotsurewhatsgoingonbutmyassholeisindanger
GmanLV300
SCIENCE!!!
Cobaltios
you monster.
qtRaven
MyDixyRect
ObiWanKenobiHimself
FurryMechanic
FooQuuxman
I have only seen this once, couldn't track it down afterwards. Anyone have a source with more pixels?
walkeninmemphis
AL-E-OOP SAUCE https://rook-07.deviantart.com/art/Chell-and-Glados-Unfinished-585785319
ponrayne
.
FooQuuxman
nevermind, there is one upthread
Rizrael
Rook-07
Odicium
More like shook-07
captbananapants
Discretion is advised. You may end up liking deviantart bondage pics.
zombiebuddies1111
.
SummersSR2
Uhh I'd like a source pls
bradphill920
.
FooQuuxman
Upthread: https://imgur.com/kZSpzJI
Rizrael
Rook-07
neotheIcecream
.
AmongstTheStars
.
bigpringle
.
ImNotUsuallyThisErect
Thanks for that, I was going to be stuck for a while trying to figure out how to use a portal gun to suck my dick. Saved me some time.
zebil
Unfortunate2
Now that's thinking with portals.
Namotatop
I don't think so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ja5per
ILoveTomHiddleston
I... Would love to give myself head .bachelorettefrog
onadatewithanak
InRainbows555
https://media.giphy.com/media/3o84sCE6KjEPpXDV04/giphy.gif
JumpingBalogna
McDuggets
Donttouchthatwithoutgloves
Question is would that be gay or just advanced masturbation.
slumshoes
It's kinda like doing your twin.
ixgs
We need a new word for self-fucking cuz "gay", "advanced" and "masturbation" ain't gon' cut it, even if it's the three together in any order
Namotatop
Autosexuality? That's what I always use to describe it.
plebeiusmaximus
Advanced gay masturbation?
Josekell
There was a great Will Ferrell SNL sketch that tackles this issue. He’s in Yoga class and finally gets flexible enough to do it.
Gromish
Doesn't matter either way. Go with the flow.
EtoileJunkie
StarmineRendezvous
iliketoanswerwithreactions
MixmasterX28
iknowitsnotbutter
RudeRunologist
Sweet Jesus tap dancing Christ!
OtterAvalanche
Cant really fuck self though. When you thrust deeper youre also pulling away your ass... The mechanics kinda dont work :(
NoMan
What if you twisted your hips instead of thrusting?
CakesArePrettyGood
could suck yourself
vorodar
What you are saying is true only for stationary surfaces. But place the second portal on something movable and things change.
OtterAvalanche
Hmm... I like the way you think.
Ryanator50
you'd need a really long dick
Namotatop
That's not how it works.
Ryanator50
yeah, you're right. you'd also need a moonrock painted sheet of drywall that you can grab and move.
Namotatop
Or just a dick that can expand on demand, like, forward, not in the way that they do, anyways. I mean, like a piston, you know?
NaughtyCannibal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY
silencetheoracle
bulbosos
my nigga
Fairdinkums
I know what you mean, being able to wipe your own arse without turning
Namotatop
and without toilet paper
Namotatop
That's... not what I meant.
Amduil
Cant say i wanna see my own ass with shit on it. Actually imma just continue never having seen my own ass in general.
Vercci
Being able to shit on my own face without having a bathtub or vagene.
MyDixyRect
CmonImStarlord
I just wipe without looking and flush. Leave it up to God.
TheRockDude
whatever you say, Mr. Poopybutthole
bigdaddyfatpants
New meaning to, "go fuck yourself"
Namotatop
Can someone explain to me wtf Imgur PC shortcuts are? Why does ctrl+C close all replies? Why does arrow key down scroll to the bottom? ARGH!
LordofGoats
Um... ctrl+C just copies for me and I'm on PC, so I don't know what to tell you, my dude.
dynamaux
Check to make sure your shift or alt keys aren't stuck down or something
Namotatop
I do, but it's seriously just that. Maybe some plugin shit, or it's because of firefox quantum? Seriously, I have no idea.
ThePrettiestPete
THIS is the proper way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY&feature=youtu.be
C0mtraya
JuniperJupiter
Ya, sure, mmhmm...
Roshiro
I'd also suck my own diiiiiiiiiiiiiii
graphiteisaac
This gets me every time...
forsythfd922
Exactl....wait, what was that last part?
Legionn
Change pants without having to look down?
StatisticallyInsignificantCanadian
https://youtu.be/NggUSbgRUhc Yep
MadocAbOwain
Exactly what I was thinking
finstad4
Redisia
go-a-head
StunnedGoofy
killingjoke8181
It feels more like sucking a cock then getting sucked...not that I’d know.
GuyPrice
Namotatop
I agree, but not that I know either.
brknsoul
()==D O:()
ThePrettiestPete
THIS is the proper way
bailarconmigo
Gradwin
CmonImStarlord
Jerk yourself off? Amirite boys
javer80
We can ALREADY DO THAT
Duplodocus
MY FIRST THOUGHT
Lightningfan813
ShineyAndChrome
OP really just wants to figure out a way to use it in a way that will let him fuck himself in the ass.
Thneitis
Coffin
BDF1838
Wouldn't work. You can't put portals on a moving surface. Distance between dick and ass stays constant. Can't thrust.
theuniverseandotherstufftoo
I would do me.
MegaLoMonkey
It puts the lotion n on its skin...
somethingsomethingwittyhere
...or else it gets the hose again?
ElbowdeepinElmo
For lack of alternative, so would I.
BrownBreadRedemption
I would do me. So hard
TimmyDans
Mxlespxles
Goodbye horses....
MenAmongPanda
ionlycommentwithgifsandpics
totallynotaghost
Wedge yourself inbetween a tight space, put a portal behind you, and in front, once you get a boner, it should extend through the portal
Winterous
People aren't very imaginative.
Winterous
And yes I know the angles are a little off, but you can fiddle around and get things in the right position.
Winterous
And if that one gets beleted, this one.
SpeakerForTheUnLiving
All I'll say is portals could be placed on movable/moving objects.
ThePrettiestPete
Check it OP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d6UQawTuBY&feature=youtu.be
Misslnformation
Small closet with a door that opens out.
smokescreen1030
Now that's thinking with portals.
gravyandfries
Yeah but! Since wiener and butt are at the same level any form of thrusting would be nullified so ha, don’t go fuck yourself cus you can’t
iEatPopcorn
You mean the mean wiener to butt length
HiddenSanity
Unless you place one portal on a moving surface, like, I unno, a drawer or door?
Grizy
I've never ever placed a portal on a moving object.
valen00
monkey rocker, with a weird cock ring and harness
JoelSoad
I thought that it's not possible to place portals on a moving surface
valen00
unless it's painted
Drbubbles47
All surfaces are moving but that doesn't stop you from putting one on the moon.
Grizy
You're being downvoted but you're right! The people are trying to silence you!
PuppyDontCare
but unless there's a small delay there'd be no friction. Every thrust would send you forward or backwards both at the same time.
iEatPopcorn
Think about the middle out compression rates
ShineyAndChrome
@missinformation had it right, "Small closet with a door that opens out." Just stand still and keep opening/closing the door just enough
Pandsu
Portals don't work on moving objects! (mods/cheats don't work. Let's leave the laws of physics vanilla)
ShineyAndChrome
They wont work on an object that is moving, but they can be placed on an object that WILL move. place portal, then move object
Pandsu
There are things in the game that start in one position, you press a button, they go into a different position. And those delete the portal
RandomImgurian
But I distinctly remember a part in Portal 2 where you had to place portals on moving objects to cut apart neurotoxin tubes
Pandsu
Hm... I kinda remember but now I'm wondering how exactly that worked. Any other surface deletes portals when moving unless you mod the game
oOMagicalBlobOo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN5lVynqRGM
Pandsu
I forgot about that part. Hm... that's actually kinda stupid then because it's inconsistent as other things delete portals when they move
Thelordschips47
Who doesnt?
fistermatic5000
But would it feel like fucking someone in the ass or getting fucked in the ass?
NZSheeps
Both?
SagaciousSarah
vorodar
Yes.
Leroni
One of the top 10 questions science still can't answer
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
i've done it before, it's called college loans
just4thelolz
I've looked into it. The geometry just doesn't add up.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all", amirite?
VizenFatale
It would probably never reach though.
ChronologicalMyopia
Well, someone's projecting.
XeraKing
igniteice
Wait, that's not how the portals work...
quad0321
No, that's how it works. Blue would show what's in front of orange and orange would show what's in front of blue.
igniteice
OH you're right.
igniteice
Unless there is someone on the other side sucking him off while he sucks them off?
iamthemadz
You clearly do not know the premise of the portal games.
igniteice
I've played them all, I feel so ashamed ;-/
DurendaI
yourcreepyunclefriendly
https://youtu.be/5d6UQawTuBY
imtheguyintecornerofpartieshangingwithhisintrovertfriends
Huh, well look at that
snlroadkill
according to 4chan it's to have oral sex with yourself ....
SomeDetroitGuy
They're not wrong.
XenoCore
They seem to have a good grasp on the world.
TheHawkRules
Beiki
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NggUSbgRUhc
PhilTheFluffiestDogOnTheInternet
ALSO I'D SUCK MY OWN DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
[deleted]
[deleted]
SwingMeFirst
I know someone who can do this by hisself, he said it's boring because it's not a "surprise".
snlroadkill
if like me you have a few extra lbs, you do. Besides not every guy is Ron Jeremy nor is every woman a hyper limber contortionist.
Sharangir
Not even Ron Jeremy is like how I think you're picturing Ron Jeremy is like.
Kulgur
As is the case with most things according to 4chan
MyLittleBorg
So, if you were to look up while giving yourself head, what would you see?
snlroadkill
the back of your own head?
DoomSkuller
your torso bending through the first portal
gitarrenkoala
Duh
PianoMan2112
Some guy blowing you.
NotIrony
Good question for middle schoolers discovering Sex-ed and critical thinking....
NotIrony
but the answer is obviously DoomSkuller! DING DING DING WINNER CHICKEN DINNER FO-FINNER!