PaulChanel
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Dr. Scholl's Foot Scanner
If you're from the U.S. you have probably seen this advertised on television.
Stand Here
You stand on the pad and it senses pressure points in your feet.
Screen
Red and yellow are high pressure, green and blue low pressure.
HI, This Is Me ... Yes, I'm In a Wheelchair
Did you know they have something similar to the foot scanner, but for your butt? Whenever I need a new wheelchair, or a new seat cushion, I get a scan. This is to help alleviate skin break downs and prevent sores on your butt.
Not My Butt
Example butt scan, so you get the idea.
My Butt
I was so intrigued with the first scan of my butt that I sent it to an artist in the U.K. Here is my butt blown up really large.
Initial Sketch
Mostly done. Needed a few changes.
Final Sketch
Almost there.
Finished Map of My Butt
The Island of Gravelous Butticus ... because my nickname in R/L, since 1994, is Gravel. (Sadly someone already had that as their Imgur account name.) Various bottles of booze holding it flat.
Upper Right Corner
Matted, museum glass, and a really nice frame.
Lower Right Corner
Had the matte cut out around the artist's signature and stamp. For those interested; David Atkinson, and his business is Hand Made Maps. You can Google him.
Overall Picture
Just unwrapped, but not on the wall yet. Sorry for the glare from the kitchen light.
Sort of For Scale
Propped against the wall, prior to being hung up. The other items sort of give you scale. Sorry, no banana ... this was before I found Imgur and knew that you liked bananas for scale.
Hope you all like my Butt Map.
LookyLookyItsTheWookie
At least I'll never need a map of Uranus...
razor10000
I always upvote ass.
CatsAndUkes
You seem like a cool guy. I like you
myths1692
I just up voted a map of a dudes butt. I should go outside more.
demonic
@razor10000
blaChek
Now that's some OC
forgetfulvegetarian
Hey I've marked another settlement on your map that needs helping it's right by your anus. This is a funny idea for a map I dig it man
PaulChanel
That's probably near The Port of No Entry ... juuuuuuust saaaaayin'
mroranges
Your ass looks like a nice place to live in.
LEGALINSCCCA
I could totally live in Asscrackville.
TerraDactyl89
paging Dr. @Razor10000 to the main OR
eversincetheaccident
Well now I want a butt map too!
PaulChanel
Google "Hand Made Maps" in the U.K. The artist/owner is David Atkinson. I'm sure he'd be delighted to hear from you.
NatKingCobra
Is there treasure buried in your ass? ... Do you want some?
PaulChanel
"Port of No Entry" ... can't you read LOL
NatKingCobra
Not very well! Lol
PaulChanel
:D
Kind0ne
Best part is the increase in the serpent's size between the initial sketch and the final one. I would've loved to hear that revision convo.
racc
+v KindOne
PaulChanel
You can't really make it out in the picture, but the boat that the serpent is crushing is named Jezebel.
Kind0ne
Hahaha, that's awesome.
colonelraleigh
What's "The Folly?" I feel like there's a good story there.
PaulChanel
Stick around, I might tell it eventually. :D
soleilange
No one's going to mention the massive serpent? Ok....
PaulChanel
hahahaha scroll down in the comments. I wrote about it in a couple places. LOL
Falcrist
Now hide a dickbutt somewhere on the map. :D
PaulChanel
OMG LOL .. I had no clue about Imgur or Dickbutt and Bananas until very recently, or I would have included both somehow.
imbaer
Maybe some buttcaneers buried their treasure there.
PaulChanel
Look at the first sketch. I think some buttcaneers were trying to bury their pole ... errrr I mean plant their flag ... on my butt.
playkill
fucking quality content!
PaulChanel
:D
playkill
i cant wait to show this to my uncle, he has cerebal palsy and the best sense of humour - he's gonna love it :D
PaulChanel
:D I've always made light of my handicap, since day one. It's how I deal with shit. I hope he enjoys it. :)
playkill
I just sent it to him, he fucking loved it :)
PaulChanel
:D
sarapls
I bet he works out.
PaulChanel
I usually skip leg day, they're kinda lazy that way ;)
CerealFirstOrWaterFirst
question...is there a treasure map hidden on that map? because i would attempt to fight you even though you're stronger than me. worth it.
PaulChanel
I'm pretty hard on toes, so watch out.
CerealFirstOrWaterFirst
yeah i feel like you're in the wheel chair because you're a veteran or you got hurt during some extreme parkouring. either way, bring it.
PaulChanel
Veteran, yes. Definitely not parkour, those guys and girls have HUGE balls.
CerealFirstOrWaterFirst
yeah then you don't even need legs to kick my ass, but i want that treasure, i need to get all that booty.
NerfherderVC
This is the best, most truly original post I've read in months. Thanks for the chuckle, OP
PaulChanel
Very welcome, glad that you enjoyed it.
Therackstar
This took a turn I was not expecting, but I was pleasantly surprised.
PaulChanel
Happy that the surprise was pleasant and didn't leave you biting your pillow.
PaulChanel
(OP) I hope you read all the content, and see the extra three pictures.
BertramWooster
My dad helped to develop this software! He got to take a pressure map of the Queen's bum. I'm going to suggest he does this to it!
PaulChanel
1. Tell your dad thanks :) and 2. I totally want to see the Queen's bum scan/map.
interstellarlovergirl
I want to see the queens butt-but-in-map-form too!
revcleo
3d print the royal bum
PaulChanel
I never thought about that, what a great idea.
TechArtist
You mean like The Grotto of Love? That is brilliant! xD
HeyGuysAmIRelevantYet
Try the username Gravel with a capital i instead of a lower case L
AngehJonze
Tbh, I thought you were going to sit on the DrScholl's machine.
PaulChanel
:D hahaha ... nah, I just like a little foreshadowing when I write.
jessicacupcake
This is so weird +1
PaulChanel
Hope you enjoyed it though.
ProbablyCrazier
I have never gotten this much enjoyment staring at another man's ass before.
Sasqualogist
You should watch out, because at the end of this road is a dark hole.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I have.
ThikLikeOatmeal
I have. But it was for a TOTALLY different reason.
YummyFrown
I have
PaulChanel
LOL
PaulChanel
Never an ass quite like this one though, I'm sure :D
YummyFrown
You don't know my life! :P great post
PaulChanel
True, maybe you love to hang out with all the wheelchair guys ;) and thanks.
LEGALINSCCCA
Because we haven't met, yet...
PaulChanel
hahahahaha
Zokathra
You lie.
unkyyy
WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING
ermergerd
YES HOMO
mutedia
your butt looks like a butterfly
PaulChanel
:) thanks
kainreborn
Way to own being the butt of the joke.
PaulChanel
Thanks :D Poking fun at the paralysis is way more fun than being upset about it.
skewler
This post is a wild ride from start to end ;)
PaulChanel
Glad you liked my butt. ;)
BulletAnt93
This is fantasstic!
PaulChanel
Glad you approve :D Had fun doing this.
PaulChanel
I forgot to mention in the picture descriptions that this was done very 'tongue in cheek' ... for instance there's the 'Port of No Entry.'
pekuja
I see one of the changes you requested after the first draft was a bigger sea serpent in the Grotto of Love. ;)
PaulChanel
hahahahahaha well a guy's gotta decoy ladies in somehow, right?
OhLookAnotherGirlWhoringForAttention
"port of limited entry"
PaulChanel
Sorry, I'll be sticking with Port of NO Entry, ... nice try though :D
curiouscatlearns
I am so happy that you decided to have this done, this is something that just needs to be in the world.
PaulChanel
Thank you :)
abrakadumbass
im disappointed you didnt post your new seat cushion you got from the scan.
PaulChanel
Oddly enough the $500 through $3,000 ones had zero relief. The $79 was best. It's nothing fancy.
abrakadumbass
because of course it did. im the same way with shoes, got a bad back, so support is important. better support from the cheap shit.
veryapeandverynice
This is awesome. Thank you for sharing this OP. My son is 11, and uses a wheelchair. I had no idea this was out there. Now I do!
PaulChanel
:) Glad that not only was it humorous, but informative.
IpoopbeforeIshower
I've heard that the Grotto of Love is really suffering from a crab and infestation. It's a shame, really.
IpoopbeforeIshower
Crab infestation*. Fuck.
PaulChanel
Nah, it's the cleanest Grotto you'd ever want to see.
mellifera312
My favorite was the Grotto of Love
PaulChanel
It's hard to tell, but the sea serpent is crushing a ship named Jezebel ... a term for a morally ambiguous woman.
Fantoompje
Well played @OP!
PaulChanel
Much thanks :)
InnocentValley
So is that volcano a zit on your butt? And the other hill thing a mole?
InnocentValley
Oh no it's a ruin. So an old zit? Also they'r enot called zits are they.. There's too many names for them. I like the snake-dragon though.
PaulChanel
Don't all deserted islands have a volcano?
InnocentValley
Not the ones without volcanos. I was just messing, the butt map is really cool.
CosmoGatto
The marsh bit made me laugh too
PaulChanel
:D yeah the whole bit was supposed to be very fun, but look serious unless you started looking at it closely.
WisdomPlaytime
So you're saying that you don't want a tongue between your cheeks?
PaulChanel
I had a feeling someone would eventually go there lol
[deleted]
[deleted]
PaulChanel
LOL actually, I have sensation there. Hard to explain, but not all nerve bundles are the same. You can be paralyzed and still feel.
[deleted]
[deleted]
PaulChanel
I have no grip/dexterity so no "beating it" ... think Making Fire by twirling a branch between your hands. haha I had a girl ask about (1/2)
PaulChanel
As far as how it happened ... I don't usually discuss that, but yes, I was a soldier at one time.
jqdao3
I like your Dragon. That is a nice Dragon.
BisonRavi
Haha i would have added the butt creek
jqdao3
Schitt's Creek :D