Butt Map

Mar 5, 2016 12:52 AM

PaulChanel

Views

91071

Likes

5378

Dislikes

96

Dr. Scholl's Foot Scanner

If you're from the U.S. you have probably seen this advertised on television.

Stand Here

You stand on the pad and it senses pressure points in your feet.

Screen

Red and yellow are high pressure, green and blue low pressure.

HI, This Is Me ... Yes, I'm In a Wheelchair

Did you know they have something similar to the foot scanner, but for your butt? Whenever I need a new wheelchair, or a new seat cushion, I get a scan. This is to help alleviate skin break downs and prevent sores on your butt.

Not My Butt

Example butt scan, so you get the idea.

My Butt

I was so intrigued with the first scan of my butt that I sent it to an artist in the U.K. Here is my butt blown up really large.

Initial Sketch

Mostly done. Needed a few changes.

Final Sketch

Almost there.

Finished Map of My Butt

The Island of Gravelous Butticus ... because my nickname in R/L, since 1994, is Gravel. (Sadly someone already had that as their Imgur account name.) Various bottles of booze holding it flat.

Upper Right Corner

Matted, museum glass, and a really nice frame.

Lower Right Corner

Had the matte cut out around the artist's signature and stamp. For those interested; David Atkinson, and his business is Hand Made Maps. You can Google him.

Overall Picture

Just unwrapped, but not on the wall yet. Sorry for the glare from the kitchen light.

Sort of For Scale

Propped against the wall, prior to being hung up. The other items sort of give you scale. Sorry, no banana ... this was before I found Imgur and knew that you liked bananas for scale.

Hope you all like my Butt Map.

At least I'll never need a map of Uranus...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I always upvote ass.

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

You seem like a cool guy. I like you

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I just up voted a map of a dudes butt. I should go outside more.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

@razor10000

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Now that's some OC

10 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 1

Hey I've marked another settlement on your map that needs helping it's right by your anus. This is a funny idea for a map I dig it man

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That's probably near The Port of No Entry ... juuuuuuust saaaaayin'

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Your ass looks like a nice place to live in.

10 years ago | Likes 130 Dislikes 1

I could totally live in Asscrackville.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

paging Dr. @Razor10000 to the main OR

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well now I want a butt map too!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Google "Hand Made Maps" in the U.K. The artist/owner is David Atkinson. I'm sure he'd be delighted to hear from you.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is there treasure buried in your ass? ... Do you want some?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Port of No Entry" ... can't you read LOL

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Not very well! Lol

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

:D

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Best part is the increase in the serpent's size between the initial sketch and the final one. I would've loved to hear that revision convo.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

+v KindOne

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You can't really make it out in the picture, but the boat that the serpent is crushing is named Jezebel.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Hahaha, that's awesome.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

What's "The Folly?" I feel like there's a good story there.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Stick around, I might tell it eventually. :D

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No one's going to mention the massive serpent? Ok....

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

hahahaha scroll down in the comments. I wrote about it in a couple places. LOL

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Now hide a dickbutt somewhere on the map. :D

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OMG LOL .. I had no clue about Imgur or Dickbutt and Bananas until very recently, or I would have included both somehow.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe some buttcaneers buried their treasure there.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Look at the first sketch. I think some buttcaneers were trying to bury their pole ... errrr I mean plant their flag ... on my butt.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

fucking quality content!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

:D

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i cant wait to show this to my uncle, he has cerebal palsy and the best sense of humour - he's gonna love it :D

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D I've always made light of my handicap, since day one. It's how I deal with shit. I hope he enjoys it. :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just sent it to him, he fucking loved it :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I bet he works out.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I usually skip leg day, they're kinda lazy that way ;)

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

question...is there a treasure map hidden on that map? because i would attempt to fight you even though you're stronger than me. worth it.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty hard on toes, so watch out.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

yeah i feel like you're in the wheel chair because you're a veteran or you got hurt during some extreme parkouring. either way, bring it.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Veteran, yes. Definitely not parkour, those guys and girls have HUGE balls.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

yeah then you don't even need legs to kick my ass, but i want that treasure, i need to get all that booty.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is the best, most truly original post I've read in months. Thanks for the chuckle, OP

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Very welcome, glad that you enjoyed it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This took a turn I was not expecting, but I was pleasantly surprised.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Happy that the surprise was pleasant and didn't leave you biting your pillow.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

(OP) I hope you read all the content, and see the extra three pictures.

10 years ago | Likes 121 Dislikes 1

My dad helped to develop this software! He got to take a pressure map of the Queen's bum. I'm going to suggest he does this to it!

10 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

1. Tell your dad thanks :) and 2. I totally want to see the Queen's bum scan/map.

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I want to see the queens butt-but-in-map-form too!

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

3d print the royal bum

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I never thought about that, what a great idea.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

You mean like The Grotto of Love? That is brilliant! xD

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Try the username Gravel with a capital i instead of a lower case L

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Tbh, I thought you were going to sit on the DrScholl's machine.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

:D hahaha ... nah, I just like a little foreshadowing when I write.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is so weird +1

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hope you enjoyed it though.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have never gotten this much enjoyment staring at another man's ass before.

10 years ago | Likes 772 Dislikes 3

You should watch out, because at the end of this road is a dark hole.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I have.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I have. But it was for a TOTALLY different reason.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

LOL

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Never an ass quite like this one though, I'm sure :D

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You don't know my life! :P great post

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

True, maybe you love to hang out with all the wheelchair guys ;) and thanks.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because we haven't met, yet...

10 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 0

hahahahaha

10 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 1

You lie.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

YES HOMO

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

your butt looks like a butterfly

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

:) thanks

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Way to own being the butt of the joke.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thanks :D Poking fun at the paralysis is way more fun than being upset about it.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This post is a wild ride from start to end ;)

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Glad you liked my butt. ;)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is fantasstic!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Glad you approve :D Had fun doing this.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I forgot to mention in the picture descriptions that this was done very 'tongue in cheek' ... for instance there's the 'Port of No Entry.'

10 years ago | Likes 553 Dislikes 2

I see one of the changes you requested after the first draft was a bigger sea serpent in the Grotto of Love. ;)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

hahahahahaha well a guy's gotta decoy ladies in somehow, right?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"port of limited entry"

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Sorry, I'll be sticking with Port of NO Entry, ... nice try though :D

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am so happy that you decided to have this done, this is something that just needs to be in the world.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank you :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

im disappointed you didnt post your new seat cushion you got from the scan.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Oddly enough the $500 through $3,000 ones had zero relief. The $79 was best. It's nothing fancy.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

because of course it did. im the same way with shoes, got a bad back, so support is important. better support from the cheap shit.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is awesome. Thank you for sharing this OP. My son is 11, and uses a wheelchair. I had no idea this was out there. Now I do!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

:) Glad that not only was it humorous, but informative.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've heard that the Grotto of Love is really suffering from a crab and infestation. It's a shame, really.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Crab infestation*. Fuck.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nah, it's the cleanest Grotto you'd ever want to see.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My favorite was the Grotto of Love

10 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 1

It's hard to tell, but the sea serpent is crushing a ship named Jezebel ... a term for a morally ambiguous woman.

10 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

Well played @OP!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Much thanks :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So is that volcano a zit on your butt? And the other hill thing a mole?

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Oh no it's a ruin. So an old zit? Also they'r enot called zits are they.. There's too many names for them. I like the snake-dragon though.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Don't all deserted islands have a volcano?

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Not the ones without volcanos. I was just messing, the butt map is really cool.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The marsh bit made me laugh too

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D yeah the whole bit was supposed to be very fun, but look serious unless you started looking at it closely.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So you're saying that you don't want a tongue between your cheeks?

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

I had a feeling someone would eventually go there lol

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

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10 years ago (deleted Jan 13, 2017 3:16 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

LOL actually, I have sensation there. Hard to explain, but not all nerve bundles are the same. You can be paralyzed and still feel.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

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10 years ago (deleted Jan 13, 2017 3:17 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I have no grip/dexterity so no "beating it" ... think Making Fire by twirling a branch between your hands. haha I had a girl ask about (1/2)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As far as how it happened ... I don't usually discuss that, but yes, I was a soldier at one time.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like your Dragon. That is a nice Dragon.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha i would have added the butt creek

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Schitt's Creek :D

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0