DickGelato
443707
9328
164
Jan 9, 2015 6:36 PM
DickGelato
443707
9328
164
TheSwagginWaggon
Last time i checked the FBI didnt work out of the pentagon...
TarEmerald
I once decided if I ever became a stripper my name would be Sinamon and I'm still proud Oic that hypothetical choice
motittiesmoproblems
I lost it at the ghost busters one
ProjectBadass
I THOUGHT NO ONE WAS GOING TO MENTION GHOST BUSTERS.
motittiesmoproblems
ME TOO WTF! I felt like that was the best one!!
rsappla11
Fun fact: Cleopatra was born closer to the moon landing than the building of the Pyramids of Giza.
MiLK42
so you're saying the fake moon landings were filmed outside of alexandria? hmmm..... tell me more.
bakkart
I thought you were going to finish with "born closer to the moon landing than to today" and I was like wait
Therighthonourablejusticedragon
"is ur grass australian" - well it is down under my feet
ROBROR87
#18 She's got a point...
MrKittyCatMeowFace
Task failed successfully
StevieWondersSeeingEyeDog
Task completed unsuccessfully
dortmunder
Yes, that is what it says.
ImgurFinancialPlanner
If you write a book about failure and it doesn't sell, is it a success?
MrKittyCatMeowFace
*Brain Exploded*
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Not gonna lie, when I saw ur comment I jumped up and down cause I was EEEK excited that I get to use the gif and be so relevant
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Ironically I didn't leave enough room for it http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/mind_blown.gif
northenlightsareshootingoutofmyass
I went to google translate and translated "mulkvisti", then I laughed. ^^
HulluSteve
But it's true! We don't hate dickheads as much as we hate other people.
Shoes102
You're such a dickhead for not telling the lazy ones what it means
zombillek
You
tina427
And now so did I.
DickSamurai
Annoying person / asshole
Saxit
I'm lazy, halp.
SteakNazisMustDie
Xylophone.
IWatchedMyDadCryAsHeCutUpOnionsIMissOnionsSheWasAGoodDog
mulkvisti = dickhead
Histrionical
*Squints at Finland*
Saxit
OverRedundant
Scientific.
AnActualSJW
StickmanSham
santa-riku
relevenceisinthemindofthebeholder
moms spaghetti
RainbowToastExplosion
i have 5 empty notebooks now what?
Amythyst
Is it crazy? If not, stick your dick in it.
reallyuglyduckling
Linguini with clam sauce?
RainbowToastExplosion
perfect
HannibalPoopsPeople
Holy shit! I'm relevant!
IdownvotePeopleWhoComplainAboutDownvoters
In regards to the toilet, I'd be more concerned about the button that seems to be labelled "love"
StringVariable
Yes, and there's a button that lets you choose between 3 levels of "slut" ;p
OverRedundant
Yes... "concerned". That's what we'd be...
atown1z
It gives some tender love and care to that sweet ass of yours.
witchtrash
PURGHAPS omg I'm dying.
Thefluffernutter
There would be SO much toothpaste/soap residue in that sink! How do you even clean that?! My neat freak side is panicking.
hullabaloo70
It's probably a 1/2 bathroom for guests
StonesOnTheHill
The thing is, it's for rich people. Rich people don't do hygiene, they just buy new hands. Also, their toilets turbo their butts for them
mithiwithi
or rather, they hire new housekeepers when the last one's hands fall off.
Frankieshooman
Tooth brush shhhhhhhh it will be ok
TheRealDurdan
Probably with another toothbrush?
PurpleTigon
Can someone please explain to me what that sink is made out of and why?
MiLK42
once someone pukes in it, it's over.
RosesAndCharcoal
A brush with bristles could work.
Toonight
Maybe it has lotus coating. Not even honey stays on that stuff.
hoyo74
Hi I'm a skeleton
Marjorama
The sad thing is, we are all just skeletons in disguise
hoyo74
I mean How are you. heh
ayyylmaoo
Read "do you wanna get chipotle?" to the tune of Do you wanna build a snowman? >.>
tenshotsofsnakejuice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csDv02y3vTk
SanAntonioToRiverdale187
Okay the Anne Frank and MLK one; interesting but they were relevant at different times, Anne Frank was dead when MLK was getting shit done.
Malaphorium
#25 They were developing a purgatory-based exclamation, but it's still in limbo.
DancingPanther
Face it. We all mouthed the words "touch" and "separate"
THEALLCAPSWARRIOR
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
Tubbytoast
Yea, but... did you say "separate" or "separate"? Well? I'm waiting!
Squeezit
I...actually did not.
AliceEvans
It's because separate contains a bilabial plosive and touch does not. And yes I am fun at parties.
SomeBoringUsername
*waves* Hello fellow linguist! I'm at the LSA conference right now - you would totally be fun at the parties here!
schwiftyschwa
I did not mouth anything because I know this.
Leucienweaver
The thing that gets me... "Poop" is the same motion for your mouth and butt. The same is true for "Explosive diarrhea"
Jackable
I did. And I feel dirty for doing it.
Psychethos
Currently trying to say "separate" over and over without touching my lips together. Surprised my husband hasn't called an ambulance yet.
deerdrah
Or asked if you wanted a divorce
kenshinlives
At the "pa", touch your bottom lip to your top row teeth.
Psychethos
"sefarate"
themasterzulf
try harder. you gotta put more work into doing the p sound
kenshinlives
Make like you're biting your entire bottom lip.
DaddysHome
setarate
IfYouHaveNothingCleverToSayDontSayAnythingAtAll
seharate
Psychethos
It's sounding more like "se'a'ate".
TwentyEightCharacterUsername
If you put your finger between your lips and use it as a lip substitute, it works.
knifehandUSMCsemperfiOORAHyutKILLmotoboner
put... put your dick in it
themasterzulf
i bit my finger
PORTUGUESETORTURING
OH FUCK I JUST DID THAT RIGHT AFTER I WIPED MY ASS DEAR GOD WHY
ThatPersonStalkingYou
God Damn, that was the funniest thing I read all day.
ThatPersonStalkingYou
God Damn, that was the funniest thing I read all day.
ThatPersonStalkingYou
God Damn, that was the funniest thing I read all day.
Hellboundclown
Dear God, now I'm giggling like an idiot at 2 AM. thank you! +1
Ratchetguns
I said it.
Bitcerto
I didn't because there's people around but I plan on doing so later.
Moonmoonn
Sho did.
Warranty
I even stuck my pinky between my lips to make damn sure.
TheLaudanumGuy
I translated "mulkvisty" and it actually means dickhead.
steveracer
was too lazy. Just imagined it.
piscesdreamer
Oh, Finland
SolArchitect
turbo tasstic
HungryPumpkn
#12 To be fair, toothbrushes accumulate bacteria by just sitting there, just like everything else does, so wetting it can help clean it.
HeyLookEliThrewAnotherPick
Mulkvisti is dickhead in Finnish by the way
esanahka
The 90's called, they want their word back.
fartgirl
i know right
CheesePataflafla
Of course you should wet your toothbrush 1st, you have to wash off the poop particles
fartgirl
THERE ARE PARTICLES AND THEY ARE LINGERING -wilfred
NotSoSmartAlek
I wet mine before and after. I also put milk first in the winter, so I can heat it up.
IDidntVoteForPedro
I wonder if there is someone somewhere with those nipple tats...
FjodorDoctorJetski
One day I hope to see this character in a sitcom
Iwastryingtomakeacreavtivenamebutnah
On tumblr its past a million notes, so hopefully
suomynonA
Its also from a year ago
Binderstin
Sooooomewheeeere oouut theeeerree...
BessieTheCow
BENEATH THE PALE MOON LIIIIGHT!!!!!
IAmBlind
Ach. I thought you were singing the toad song from HONK! The Musical.
CheesyChinchilla
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT??? I HAVE FOUND ONE OF MY PEOPLE!!!
IAmBlind
Haha, I'm a stage manager. They're embedded now...
MyNameIsMax
beneath the paalee moooonn light...
tashiwa
soooomeoooones thiinking ooooof meeeeeee
Binderstin
And loving me toniiiiight
BakeryBitch
It went past a million a while ago and she didn't have them when I checked her blog like a month ago sooo
Rogu3s
Was hoping for a link here -.-
rigoletto
WHO DOESN'T LIKE CHIPOTLE
angrywithoutcheese
That's my question!
Tagross
I'm Mexican, so if I want real Mexican food I'll call my mom, if I wasn't crappy Mexican food I'll go to taco bell.
thelurkerwholurksnolonger
Chipotle is not Mexican food. Chipotle is Chipotle.
rigoletto
I'm sorry you feel that you're crappy Mexican food, just keep looking up, things'll get better.
ApplesAndBees
MOE'S BEATS CHIPOTLE ALL DAY EVERY DAY
StyleSavvyCupcak3
YES!!!!!
DrHarleenFrancesQuinzelMD
I used to work at Moe's. You are correct. DAT FUCKIN QUESO THO
squirrelgirl86
WHAT THE FUCK IS A MOE'S?
ApplesAndBees
its like chipotle but it doesn't taste like satan's anus. also free guac
TheBatmanFan
Moe's has free chips, I'll give you that.
ApplesAndBees
free guac, you pay for queso, which chipotle doesn't have lol. and free different salsas :)
TheBatmanFan
Ah, thank you for enlightening me. I'm vegetarian so Chipotle has free guac if no meat.
navajoe
As a New Mexican, I'll just go to the few dozen burrito joints with actual chile.
cutecatpicturesarewhyimhere
Greetings fellow New Mexican! And yes, I will take any number of local places over Chipotle.
ApplesAndBees
yeah, moes is about 10 miles closer than the closest real mexican joint to me so its a battle of the chains
jalenp69
I've never been but I live in San Diego, not even 20 minutes away from the border so we've got taco shops every few blocks
AnActualSJW
I the fuck don't
Moonmoonn
Ooo feisty
DrGirlinTheMoonlight
Freebirds is better
ProfessorCaseyJones
Freebirds forever!
yourbassist
Addict here.
ImgurFairy
I've never had it...
smileyhat
People who have had Freebird's.
Notchinyourbedpost
Mexicans.
GreenYawgmoth
Chipotle is bland gross crap.
cutecatpicturesarewhyimhere
A-fucking-men!
yourbassist
I must say, I think you might be doing it wrong. I had a friend put rice, meat and cheese on his then complain that it was dry.
GreenYawgmoth
I've done it every way suggested to me and each time it was garbage. Their "spicy" salsa for example is little more than tomatoes and onion.
cutecatpicturesarewhyimhere
Thank you!!! I can't stand their salsa. Or their food in general...
WeAreTheNSA
Me. If you don't like cilantro, you better stay the hell away from Chipotle.
G11marksman
I don't, not enough options
mushroommunk
Moes is waaaaay better
StyleSavvyCupcak3
So much agreed!
sharkbate
Moe's looks and tastes like baby food.
AlexGalbraith
Moe's doesn't even season their rice. If you're not gonna at least try, then get the fuck out the burrito game.
Mogmai
My problem is that I've never tried it and I'm scared to
trinhbot
anyone who's been to an authentic Mexican eatery
OverRedundant
Authentic Mexican food tastes awesome, but is made with lard and other less-than-healthy stuff. Both are great for dif reasons.
OhElleNo
If you want me to enjoy a lime flavored chip, make it green. Don't lie to my eyes & mismanage my taste buds' expectations. That's fucked up
Zawnbu
I've never even had Chipotle to know if I don't like it
Moonmoonn
Never tried it
c3792904
Taco Bell
TheBatmanFan
MTE. Why in Jibbers Crabst's name would anyone not like Chipotle?!
crispexops
It's like Panera, if I'm in the neighborhood, sure why not. I won't go out of my way for it though.
OverRedundant
It pisses me off that they don't carry queso of any kind. They're also inconsistent with their sizing. Giant horse-cock burrito one day 1
OverRedundant
itty bitty flaccid burrito another day. Other than that they're great. 2
mrsmusica
There's a ton of burrito places with freshly-cooked meat. I still like Chipotle though because those fuckers are huge.
IPeakedinSecondGrade
anyone who has ever worked there
SlagathorDeb
Me. Chipotoplay makes me ill. Literally. (not figuratively)
prettihatemachine
I read something that said Chipotle and McDonald's get their meat from the same place, so obviously it's JUST STRAIGHT GARBAGE
OverRedundant
Yeah no.
TiberiusAudley
The people with the genetic mutation that makes cilantro taste literally like soap to them.
DickGelato
*raises hand very slowly*
MyHorseAteMyPaycheck
It's ok, OP, you're not alone.
althanan
At least around here, their meat SUCKS. Not worth the extra cost.
airandfingers
Sofritas?
althanan
Must not be around where I am, never heard of it.
airandfingers
Hm, I thought they have it everywhere. http://www.esquire.com/blogs/food-for-men/free-chipotle-with-sofritas
meltingeggs
In Soviet Russia, meat sucks you.
CShock
never had it
Kratti
Suomi mainittu, torilla tavataan!
MsMeliG
I might be Hitler the Stripper next year for halloween
Beepity
Go along with JFK and Stalin.
cormacmccarthyreviewsdottiescafe
logged in to upvote
MrBlonde05
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/oxford-comma-jfk-stalin-435x570.jpg
chunkapie
Hmmm, perhaps I should give a fuck about the Oxford comma.
Ringshadow
I support this notion.
Beckashmellows
Hello, I love you. Tell me your name.
BillTheDragon
I'm going to need a promise and a delivery on this one
unknownuser0
How do you clean that sink?
NotSoMuch
By vigorously rubbing your hands on it.
DarthWTF
A brush?
TheNASAUnicorn
That's what I was going to say, hahahaha. Spare toothbrush!
ConspicuousSpellingError
Was hoping someone put this here. I'm worried about that guys oral health.
Splintec
Pressure washer
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
honestly, if you're rich enough to have that as a sink, it's the cleaning ladies problem.
ONISpook
Its just amethyst. Purple quartz. Common enough. That was proable $100-$200.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
probably much more than that for raw materials and that was before making it a sink.
SonrisaFlores
As a cleaning lady, a small brush and some comet cleanser.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
And hopefully the crystal shit is stronger than comet and doesn't get scratched?
archirat
As a cleaning-nanny-esque person. Nope. Fuck that. Hell na. It's purple anyway. No one is gunna see the plaque stains.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
you'd lose that sparkle, it'd be soap scummed over and not shiny or clear.
archirat
Baking soda and seltzer... maybe. Mostly Fuck na.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
fill it with bleach and lime away and let it sit for a while, if it isn't clean or fucks up the sink, just pack your things and leave.
iliketokeepitsimplestupid
It'll be filled in with a clear substance so it's all smooth.
ravien999
That would be disappointing. The random crevices would make it glisten so nice in the light
iliketokeepitsimplestupid
That's why you use an extremely low opacity filler.(Epoxy? I forgot what it's called) It still lets the "minerals" sparkle.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
and doesn't actually look like it is.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
*it should be filled in (you don't know that it actually is...)
dEXm64
exactly.
iliketokeepitsimplestupid
Oh yea, I forgot that some idiot might put one in and clean it ruin the finish on the jagged minerals. My bad for taking the initiative.
emjei
lol
DickGelato
With dedication
Summersky
And bloody hands.
kuriosly
Applause
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
My tired mind read defecation. I'm now convinced that's the answer.
rewindthetape
And 99% perspiration.
Mistruths
Perspiration is sweat, not blood.
Absurdest
50% skill
NlGHTW0LF
and 5% inspiration
AxNinjaX
and 1% hemoglobin for good measure.
SquirrelLaunchr
And all the clotting factor you can muster.
SultanJafar
15% concentrated power of will
knifehandUSMCsemperfiOORAHyutKILLmotoboner
10% Luck
Rheios
20% skill
brandyofthedamned
15% concentrated power of will
BangPopesAndProsper
Mulkvisti means asshole. Or dickhead according to google translate.
blaergh
Dickhead would be close enough. We do sometimes use it like described in the post... but not always.
breaddough
like this http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/380/104/efd.gif
thebrick87
Who cleans a sink with their hands? Use a scrub brush.
AstralBeast808
Put spaghetti in it.
NotSoMuch
M...mom?
AstralBeast808
Not so much.
WoahWhoAmIandWhatamIdoingHere
Light acid, like vinegar.
BewilderedBeaver
Laser?
snoogans671
fill it with water and just throw in a few of the algae eater fish or minnows or something. let them do all the work
LovelyLadyLumps
I couldn't imagine cleaning beard hair outta there
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
It is unpossible, you just replace it or look at how soap scum and dirt covered it is.
IDidntThinkAboutThis
Me fail English? That's unpossible!
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
unpossible, it's even more impossible than impossible.
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
I love saying unpossible for emphasis. I find it amusing to see if people think I did it on purpose or not.
Dooood
Mineral wax.
fluger
Lasers apparently.
Nebulosa
I legit got stuck on that picture for 20 minutes pondering that very question.
KNIVESY
Toilet brush that isn't also used for the toilet. A sink brush... that looks an awful lot like a toilet brush.
Mogmai
With your blood.
VectorVictor
That's the "guest" sink and nobody ever gets to use it.
skittleyphallus
spray a lot of bleach or the foam up bleach at it
skittleyphallus
maybe a big scrubby brush too
esgedi
A powerful spray cleaner? Do you people clean everything with a bar of soap or something?
CaptainPirate8
SHAMWOW!!!!
IPeakedinSecondGrade
That poor crystal took millions of years to grow only to have some elitist turn it into a sink.
impostersquall
Quartz is the most common mineral. Its very hard and wouldnt much be effected by water. Besides, you can appreciate it while washing hands.
sms001
Feldspar, but yeah, concern for quartz is taking anthropomorphizing a bit far.
MoodyOfNorway
You don't. You're too gang$ter for that shit.
theclevernamegoeshere
Carefully.
Maglot
You don't clean sink, sink cleans YOU.
TheBOULDER
Easy, you either bend the water or the minerals to--wait...The BOULDER doesn't think you're an bender, son.
BYERE
With great difficulty...
enjoymyhate
YOU don't clean it, the maid does, duh.
Alaskansloth
You don't...
Valaar
If you have that sink, someone does it for you, you don't care...
WhatWouldJimmyCarrDo
With mineral water, obviously.
chrisinsocalif
With a mineral scrub.
padgie
So many lost contacts...
severice
Fuck, i dropped a contact....
WhoIsTheDodie
imagine spitting your toothpaste in that sink... nah i'll just spit in the tub
zachzac
Mineral water
TalesOfHeresy
With blood and tears
Catleesi
That was my first thought. Bruh
calyxium
With blood, I assume.
IBetThatHurts
Steam.
futureman3000
You don't, you let the help worry about cleaning it.
highteck9
Use someone's toothbrush.
LookAtMYFancyUsername
Lasers
ButtersTheCat
My exact thought.
LMeire
Fill it with bleach and let it sit for a day or two.
Rob0tman
All I could think.
bethyboo
I'm guessing if that's your sink you won't be the one cleaning it
Disinvited
Why would you ever need to clean a sink? It gets washed every time you wash your hands, silly.
BYERE
With great difficulty...
kiiyor
A drill with a big fucking brush screwed into the end, some steampunk goggles, and MANIACAL FUCKING LAUGHTER. Cigar optional.
ThatChickWho
THANK YOU
[deleted]
[deleted]
Hetzer
Oooh kinky.
bigb00tyz
male? o.o
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
gloves made of tiny metal penises woven together...
evilyouth
*chainmail or maille. Chain Male is a whole thing I don't want to get into.
orbitn
I DO
Piegiver
Eh, that's what it auto corrected to...
flandered
10% luck + 20% skill + 15% concentrated power of will + 5% pleasure + 50% pain.
imhereforthepuppies
100% reason to remember to buy a normal fucking sink next time
pandorafalters
That's an odd name.
RichardNixonsHead
Why would the director of the FBI have his own direct line at the Pentagon? Nobody else thinks that's weird?
althanan
That just one of several things that makes the story BS.
AIComments
It's funny because someone on tumblr was not only dumb enough to get trolled that hard, but at least 200k other tumblrites also believed it.
Sakkura
I thought the FBI was all grown up and moved into its own home. Guess I was wrong.
BeeDragon
Failure to launch
Storkington
...a cell phone
RichardNixonsHead
You. You and your logic.
trinhbot
doesn't the director of the FBI work at the FBI HQ in Quantico?
ThatStoney
J. Edgar Hoover building in DC.
lesbianseagulls
Or Hoover. Definitely not in the pentagon. That's DoD, FBI is DoJ.
Ringshadow
Well JFC why wouldn't he? Shouldn't the president be able to reach the director of the FBI quickly if he needs to?
Anononononon
There is actually a constitutional issue with law enforcement and the military sharing a building I believe
FlatPlutoSociety
The Pentagon is the Department of Defense's HQ, in Virginia. The FBI is headquartered at the J Edgar Hoover building in Washington.
mercurytw
So you're buying the psyop, then. Good. good....
FlatPlutoSociety
I *invented* the psyop. Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Time to swallow the cyanide pill...
Sarius121
Shouldn't you be ramming the pill down his throat?
KorruptJustice
Sir, that's your Pez dispenser.
NYVoodoo
That Anne Frank and MLK one, though! Are we just going to ignore that?!
enigmadan
Well, we remember Anne from around the time she died (at 15). MLKj is known for what he did 20 years after that. Even though they were born①
enigmadan
in the same year, they are known for things that happened (almost) half a generation apart.②
jwp90
Purghaps?
fuckweaselry
I could not finish the rest of the images, that's how much I could not ignore that...
Trahiega
I know right, that one had me shaking my head.
viperfolk
I was just so incredibly disturbed by the historical errors in that one.
itssomething
I mean Anne Frank was a famous child, MLK was a famous adult. It makes sense.
ArcipluvianCosmicGallows
They were only like 20 years apart and MLK was about 20 years older, that post was the least interesting one there.
Sacurason
It really goes to show how far we can come in just a few generations!
darwynstheory
Fact checked: True dat
[deleted]
[deleted]
Some0neSetUpUsTheBomb
Hide and Go Seek champion vs. Civil Rights activist. That scales up pretty well.
beardface5
Thank you.
TheEngineer
Anne Frank had her diary from 1942-45. MLK did the bus boycott in 1955. only 10 years apart. Granted most of his work is in the 60's.
CapnJackSparrow
Still two completely different times in history. If we take history in chunks, which it is almost impossible to not do, then they were 1/2
CapnJackSparrow
in two completely different chunks. To say otherwise would be to say WWI and the Great depression happened at the same time 2/2
BananaSquid
But also WWII and Post-WWII are two very different time periods in terms of social context. 1/2
TheEngineer
i wasnt arguing that they were in the same time period, just showing how close they were. I completely agree they were two different times
BananaSquid
Also, Europe and the U.S. faced very different challenges during those time periods. 2/2
navajoe
Hey, I'm still on winter break! I don't need thought blowing stuff like this until Monday when classes start.
IImmediatelyRegretThisUsername
To be fair, Anne Frank's period of noteworthiness was 20 years before MLK's...
Blastergv9
They were killed 25+/- years apart. That's why
jrau18
It's almost like they're associated with what they DID and when THAT happened, then when their mother discharged them on the table.
MaybeGrapes
than*
jrau18
I saw it right after I submitted it.
MaybeGrapes
That's honestly not the only mistake though...
jrau18
Go ahead and do the entire thing, then.