eastbayrae
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Mar 7, 2015 3:15 PM
eastbayrae
575333
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timelydemise
I had a masai tribe visit my school once. They have form of dance that is jumping and they are very good at it
RecentlyvotedtheWorstDressedSentientBeingintheKnownUniverse
I bet they made sweet mouse love
twentyfiveandone
How the fuck you know that cow got a best friend?
lionoil
Cows are very social. Someone found that separating cows from specific other cows in the herd stressed them out A LOT. Not just friends BFFS
zxms
Fun fact: Mickey & Minnie's voice actors admitted to using the voices when making love:
HeyItsFen
The Masai one is worth explaining. The Masai people don't have a monitary system of wealth, they are instead measured in wealth by...
HeyItsFen
Their number of children and cows. Cows are one of the most important resources to the Masai, they did more than give their wealth...
HeyItsFen
That particular tribe was willing to make a very important sacrifice for us.
Volimar
Even the unicorn is like. "Really, Scotland?"
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
I believe it was given to them by the English to represent their imaginary claim to the throne
Alah2
The unicorn in celtic mythology pre-dates England as a country. Celts celebrated it for a long time before it was on the coat of arms.
polocksneedhugstoo
Today I learned , elephants are good people.
jacerracer
Much better than that Foul Fact Frog
Swordos
Blind people can smile because its a reflex.
skygodess
IIRC, they also gesture with their hands while talking.
WhimsicalCalamari
The more interesting fact: blind people have similar smiles to their parents, showing that facial expressions are more genetic than learned.
FortheChellofit
Will use this for drawing.
legru
bc smiling is a muscular reflex, am I guessing right?
kharmatika
I think it was just a commentary on nature vs nurture, showing that smiling is an example of nature.
demiandub
Hah! Evolution suckers!
YesMrScorpion
I briefly was confused which name was the dog's and which was the elephant's. "Damn, that's a strong dog."
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
Or just a really tiny elephant.
dangerousDoc
To the front page with you and your heartwarming bull
diddleyhole
I really hope the U.S. Accepted the blessed cows for some reason. It's the little things that count.
ballsoffire
To be fair though, dolphins have also been known to violently rape.
thor0486
So have people.
bobbi21
And as a species, I'd say humans kinda suck too.
ohsillyus
Suck whether they want to or not.
BTkang
[citation needed]
BaseDeltaZero
Am Scottish, can confirm on unicorn.
itsmesteve
Squirrels are idiots
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
*forgets where the keys were placed 10 seconds ago*
teawednesday
Dolphins also gangrape their females and kill their babies and play with the corpses.
Anononononon
And they are known to take humanize manniquins down and rape them until they break apart in rape caves.
xmsbeanx
I really could have gone without that little tid bit of info 0_o
heretichyaenid
http://justingregg.com/the-dolphin-rape-myth/
wideawaketheysleep
Way to remind me I'm on the Internet
Thekingofbeans
Sharks bite each other to initiate sex. It's so rough sometimes it turns into a legitimate attack. They're total dicks too!
Anononononon
A lot of female sea otter deaths is from rough sex. And when they can't get to a female the otter will use juvinelle male seals.
BangForTheBuck
"Soo.. your place or mine? Sorry if I was a little rough with the biting there. Linda? Oh shit... your head's off"
skygodess
Thank you for the laugh. Now I must remove Pepsi from my monitor and keyboard.
XenoHorse
Sounds like my kind of people!
FortheChellofit
OddlyCantEven
Who among us hasn't had a "bad" night?
Natalan
They're a lot like people. Capable of astounding altruism and horrifying violence.
thor0486
This, exactly. With intelligence comes the capacity for kindness as well as harm.
asharkwithfeet
We have plenty of evidence for that-- unfortunately not so much for the "they protect people" myth
Anononononon
Didn't Mythbusters show that the outline of a bottlenose dolphin causes a great white to leave the area?
asharkwithfeet
Thought this would come up. 1) Not a robust test. 2) Predators not sharing the same space at one is not the same as "protecting a surfer"
Anononononon
No but I would personally make the corollary of 'I saw a dolphin and shark left the dolphin protected me', and Dolphins don't EAT humans..
asharkwithfeet
Sure. And that would be a nice story, not science. Same with all the other "dolphin scares shark to save man" folktales.
Matlo
Cuddling my cat releases nothing but fuckoffatosin on her part
Lorithias
You make me laughed really hard :)
PoppinLochNessHopster
Get a better pet.
Gustaflu
cats are assholes...
SunsetDelightOnNearColdNight
well you are still alvie arent you? something must be working
emcham
You're at 666 points, I can't bring myself to upvote
Raelag
for my cat it releases snuggatosin.
slagath0r
But they purrrrrr
Matlo
Only when they are eating my headphone cables running cost 5 headphones and £400
slagath0r
:(
paintedgreenmushrooms
The only thing my roommate's cat does is piss and puke everywhere! Dogs4Life!
paintedgreenmushrooms
things* (sorry I'm drinking)
phenomanII
Man, I really should not breath out of my nouse with my mouth stuffed with cereal...
Zechie
Nouse!
ItsCaptain0bvious
I laughed out loud
Bakker
That's why there is a dog in the photograph :)
afriendofmine
Ah.. Dogs ... the pet for people so mediocre that need something to congratulate them for jack shit.
nofunnynamesleft
That explains Winston Churchill having a dog
afriendofmine
His dog probably didn't laugh ... or cheer ... or do anything other than some and drink while sleeping ... underwater.
p34ce
I wouldn't put much stock in what the image said, it's nonsense. Oxytocin is the chemical responsible for *milk excretion* in mammals.
p34ce
Dogs and cats have hairs around the nipples that trigger oxytocin release. Dopamine is involved in pattern matching, and reward-seeking.
p34ce
And it's debatable whether it has anything to do with happiness, or satisfaction.
fuckweaselry
It also increases the feeling of trust, not love & it can cure headaches via skin-to-skin contact
HomelessToddler
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin
p34ce
Did you actually read the article you linked?
umpbumpfizz
"... For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the "bonding hormone.'"
HomelessToddler
Yeah, it briefly mentions milk then goes onto mention everything else. Did you only read one sentence?
rekcilthis1
Did you? It explicitly states that it is an intimacy hormone, important in mammal because of breastfeeding and the parent/child bond formed.
SeanBeansReanimatedCorpse
That penguin is more accomplished than me.
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
That penguin is probably more accomplished than most people.
theartistformerlyknownasemnp3
I love it when Imgur teaches me things
ImmortalAzrael
What did that penguin do?
SataSalamaa
Exactly the question I came to ask, too!
waterchestnutIII
Yes, I must know more about this penguin's bravery!
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
Moved to Edinburgh zoo and looked down on the other penguins
herc18
You know that that Masi tribe offered what was a huge amount for them. I'm actually genuinely touched.
AvatarofPi
A children's book was written about it.
Natalan
In case you'd like to know more about the cattle gift: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/5339460.stm
herc18
Thank you.
Superkroot
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
I hope the US responded in a equally generous way.
IWRITEEVERYTHINGINCAPS
YES, THE US PROMISED TO NOT INVADE THEM EVEN IF OIL WAS FOUND ON THEIR LAND.
afriendofmine
Your name was so relevant. Also your comment made me chuckle, have your +1.
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
WE ARE THE BEST COUNTRY EVAR!
Natalan
"...the gift of a cow is regarded as among the most precious one can receive from a Maasai, ranking alongside a child or grazing land."
AlexPanciera
A child means an extra set of hands.
CreaturesLieHere
...ranking alongside A CHILD... You were so close Masai tribe, so close.
ohsillyus
Rather. I mean a cow gives milk and much much more meat then a child. Plus they're cuter. They're worth at least three children.
Wafflewolf
But the meat of a child tastes much better.
ballsohard2202
Lol this guy.
FriendlyGuyInWindowlessVan
Well, nothing beats a steak, but childmeat is something special.
umuziki
Cows in Africa are seen as almost priceless. A gift like that carries a great weight of respect for the recipient.
DoYouLikeApples
squirrels -> lose nuts -> trees grow -> oxygen -> we breath better because of squirrels
Felman
Losing our nuts = life
kallan0100
They also are increasing their food source which is cool
DoYouLikeApples
SCIENCE!
projectiledysfunction
more trees -> more squirrels -> even more squirrels -> overabundance of squirrel farts causes accelerated global warming -> everything dies
DoYouLikeApples
SQUIRREL ARMY!!!
mkjnx
Squirrels lose nuts; you are not going to believe what happens next
eromitlab
Linemen hate him! Learn more about this (1) weird trick
Thekingofbeans
More trees -> More ents -> Greater chance of ent attacks -> Less orcs -> Less super awesome orc battles -> squirrels ruin all the fun
SgtCookie111
Less Orcs -> Lower manpower for the armies of evil -> Easier time for the good guys -> Victory. Thanks Squirrels.
Thekingofbeans
Imagine lord of the rings online during peace time! It would just be a "life without indoor pluming" simulator!
AgamemnonsMemes
That last one is important. Lots of people (news) push how violent and dangerous he world is. We live in the safest period in history.
dearsmashley
Mr. Stubbs has been a successful mayor despite his efforts to use all of the town's resources to fund Mice Town.
ChancesPance
This is my first log in for a very long time and it's the result of the best reference I've seen in months.
Raelag
when no human would do we believed in cat. cat has not done us dirty yet.
dennisstamp
http://www.funnyjunk.com/It+s+2014+where+is+this/funny-gifs/5075471/12#12
BassNBluegill
He gets high on catnip-water
citoyenne
Mice Town Costs Mice Clown His Town Crown?
ImalwayslatetotheStephenKingreferences
Mr. Jingles is there.
autumnmist
TrueLegateDamar
Is this a Fievel reference?
RocksWorld
Omg! I call my roommate smashley cause she's a ho!
[deleted]
[deleted]
wheresmysweater
You sir are wrong on both accounts.
EchoJGolf
I was there when Ice Town opened.
MisterBananagrabber
This. This is an amazing reference.
iAmNotADuck
Apparently a lot of countries have mythical animals as the national animal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_national_animals
slipstream222
Who says they are mythical - you should holiday in Scotland and check for yourself - Haggis breeding season is August, and the best weather
slipstream222
Only kidding - the weather is awful all year round
imfeelingskinnytony
that was a cool read, thank you
dukegonzo
The penguin knighted by Norway is a resident at Edinburgh Zoo and they parade nearly every day.
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
I was a Norwegian royal guard, there is a statue of that penguin in our military camp.
MetalOperaGuy
What is the story behind that penguin?
thesplashingblumpkins
Nils Olav II!
7thsage
I think you mean Colonel-in-Chief Sir Nils Olav... He earned the title after all.
7thsage
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav
skelekittycat
It's his descendants, at this stage. The original I believe may have passed away some time ago?
ZedZaw
Yeah but he's still technically Nils Olav, he "lives on" in his descendant :)
danswe1
Yeah, I'm having a hard time believing many of these...
nightsliegh
The penguin thing is real or atleast the knighting part i dont know about the parade
MothafuckinPancakes
Live in Edinburgh. Can confirm penguin parade!
skelekittycat
Last time I went it wasn't on because they were renovating. It made me sad.
EnterDMZ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav
HomelessToddler
Me too but I researched the ones I didn't believe, it seems checks out.
BaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaBATMAN
The penguin one is definitely true.
Dexterrogers
I'm American, and what I have to say is this.... the Masai, are fucking awesome. Seen other stuff on the tribe, mindblowingly awesome.
TheGramReaper
Those cows were give the honor of being made into chipotle steak
Ifellthroughthefourthwall
Also, as a fraction of GDP those Masai gave more relief than any formal state for that tragedy.
TheFantasticJurassic
I had the opportunity to visit the Masai on two mission trips by a local church. We helped spiff up a place that houses mistreated girls.
ZebraCockSandwich
they really are. my husband was able to meet them once, and they seem like an amazing group of individuals.
MjingaSana
I lived in Kenya for two years. Every time I ran into the Maasai they gave me gifts because I was a visitor to the country.
jinomoja
Your username made me smile
MyOtherRideisaTARDIS
I lived with them and learned so much. I've never grown so much as a person.
AvatarofPi
There was a children's book written about the cows...I believe called "14 Cows for America".
Joonbugs92
When I went to Tanzania they were the nicest people I met. Well, mostly everyone I met were nice but they stick out in my mind.
bawsinmahmouth
The men have to kill a lion with nothing but a spear as a right of passage. So freaking bad ass.
Dexterrogers
I KNOW RIGHT?? They actually don't though anymore, the practice was abolished due to the severity of it, At least that's what I read.
thegriffin88
I remember that being a part of an article in the NY Times that year. It was pretty cool to see people helping us, it's usually vice versa.
ChickswithKnives
It was just really nice of them, right? SO NICE.
kgell
Well, I would disagree. Girls are forced to marry after circumcision at 11-13. Women are expected to do all the work in the community, etc.
kgell
Still they do not have any power in decision-making. There's a lot of references out there. Check out the BBC documentary Tribal Wives.
KonaVibes
Nope. They still ACTIVELY practice female genital mutilation. Nope, nope, nope.
jiggityjakeysnakey
Omg get over it weirdo
KaiserinHelgaVonEinhornDieEinzige
Not only them... :( http://data.unicef.org/child-protection/fgmc
MyOtherRideisaTARDIS
The ones I lived with did not. :)
KonaVibes
Is it true that the uncut females are not able to marry or be accepted as adult members of their society?
MyOtherRideisaTARDIS
Depends on the group. The Massai are a huge and diverse people group.
sophisticatedanalpalate
I'm curious, did we take the cows? And if so what did we do with them?
Iambikecurious
They went to the blessed McDonald's where they became blessed Big Macs
apiringLEO
Sucks that people downvote double comments even though they know you didn't do it on purpose.
Iambikecurious
They went to the blessed McDonald's where they became blessed Big Macs
terminallyilliterate
Hel,l I thought it was funny. Lighten up folks.
Iambikecurious
Thanks nigga
Swa9Dra9on
Imgur is no place for laughter.
Dettamuley06
As I recall the US was concerned that they may have diseases that could be devastating to domestic cow herds. Instead of bringing the cattle
Dettamuley06
To the US they asked the Masai to watch over and care for them. I read a book about it once. The book was quite moving.
ringox
I would expect US giving them 14 cows as a compensation for their kind generosity
redbikemaster
That is a good example of diplomacy.
ScreaminginSherris
What book? If you don't mind sharing.
Punnilingus
I don't give a shit about humans, I want an elephant to mourn me when I die.
WhoPaidForThisFloor
Don't worry, I'm sure your mom will be sad.
Volreed
They are magnificent creatures & we are nothing but a bunch of fucktards for letting them being endangered by our own species.
Pinoniemi
I got so bummed out thinking about the second that elephant found his dead friend
Aveira
Tarra lives over at the Elephant Santuary in Tennessee. She still goes to visit Bella's grave, but is comforted by her ele friends.
sweetbeatdown
Thats amazing! Im close enough to pay Tara a visit. Google here i come!!
krunchi
The phrasing of the last one somehow makes it seem like equality is a major problem. Or is it just me?
Catumi
You read it correctly.
Aumpa
Oh yeah, should be "inequality" as the problem that's getting better.
AninynMoiyo
Good Guy Small Brained Squirrel.
smashpit
Although they have the highest brain to mass ratio among animals.
projectiledysfunction
lol nowhere close, they have an EQ of 1.1. In comparison dogs are 1.2, elephants are 1.3, chimps are 2.5, and we're 7.8
absolutepancake
If only they could figure out which side of the street they want to be on
ac112
What if they have a very sophisticated understanding of long-term investments?
Crawdiddy
WHAT IF SQUIRRELS IS SMART AS FUCK N DEY DOIN IT TO SAVE DA EARTH LOL IDK ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
pulvertorget
Why isn't it possible to favorite comments!