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Apr 30, 2013 12:07 PM
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JustTheDoctor
I just had a nerdgasm
JimHalpertIsMyHero
TIL
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
He spelled Khazad-dum correctly. OP fucking spelled it correctly. Hats off man. I would too, but I don't have elfish "u" on my keyboard.
KoofleMcDoofle
Balrogs are fucking assholes.
Zerubbabel
Allegory is allegorical.
chrisdonny
Went on Wikipedia to look up the history of Middle Earth after I saw this... Fascinating. Simply fascinating.
TheGhosty
Colbert just Tolkien'd the SHIT out of CNN
sionallona
:colbert:
eggmuffin
According to QI, it's really 616, but at some point, someone just decided that 666 sounded more ominous. More evil-y.
darianzg
1) Correct. 616 was the numerological name for Neron Caesar. The number has zero to actually do with Satan OR Lucifer (who are actually
darianzg
2) 2 different entities). Due to a mistranslation they were combined into the same being.
eggmuffin
Not quite. "Satan" is not a being at all. It means "adversary". It simply refers to any opponent of the church. Any rival religion or faith.
darianzg
In the current iteration, yes. But the original texts were mistranslated. Lucifer was originally not a fallen angel, but a fallen king.
darianzg
If you'd like I can PM you the details on here. It's actually quite an interesting read.
eggmuffin
Please do.
iwishiwaswitty
YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!
GarrettPlatner
Wanting CNN to be accurate? You're funny Colbert.
The0perative
And now I have to reread all the history of Arda, thanks Imgur.
AnotherStripe
What have you done to my baby!? Publicizing him and calling him the devil!? CNN... Shame on you...
jcm05
Getting real tired of your shit, CNN!
riverwolf
TIL CNN is Moon Moon.
scapegote
Source: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181944/june-07-2006/balrog
ImNietzscheBietzsche
OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE WHY DO I HAVE A FUNNY ACCENT AND A QUEEN
Awhaleandabowlofpetunias
Thank you :)
thegriffin88
Come on CNN, pull your shit together.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Colbert had to have been the one who initially spotted this because I don't think anyone else is capable.
xerowontoo
Holy bajeezers batman, 10,000+ points?! So all I need is Colbert talking about LotR and mocking CNN in the process? I can do this.........
FarceMajeure
Stephen Colbert: The alpha nerd.
paddythelion
YOU COME TO MY HOUSE
evolume
Melkor, after allowing Ungoliant to destroy the two trees, stole the Silmarils and was ever after named Morgoth by Feanor son of Finwë.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
"Black Enemy" is the rough translation. He was then cast into the Void and Sauron kind of took his place.
LordSauron
Well, someone had to do it...
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
That had me laughing hard, btw.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
I was gonna comment and then I saw your username. Lord Mairon, I didn't expect to see you here....you know, outside...
LordSauron
Surprised to see me on Imgur? What, did you think I spend all my time endlessly watching from my eye illusion? It gets old after a while.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
No, my lord. One cannot destroy a Valar but I figured since the Ring was gone, you got raped by a hobbit, you'd be gone for awhile.
evolume
Ungoliant is Shelob's mom. Dawwwww...
theycallmebeef
i need him to marry me.
mufc
If this doesn't show that Tolkien was writing Catholic fantasy then I don't know what will.
ThadAr
you mean he was writing fantasy-fantasy then
mufc
That's objective. To Tolkien, Colbert, and countless others who know their literature and history it's Catholic fantasy.
ThadAr
i didnt mean its not catholic fantasy, or that you were wrong, i meant that catholicism is another fantasy by itself.
mufc
Oh I see now, and I meant subjective. Typo, my fault.
unholygoatlord
I had that calendar!!
myspoonistoobig
TIL I get a huge lady-boner when Colbert talks about LotR
jsktrogdor
This is a younger Colbert too. You can tell by how poorly his suit is tailored.
peacockfuta
I have a lady boner cuz you have one....O__O
CretianSnakeGod
I just get a confused man-boner...
Robroyoldboy
TIL that I get a man-boner when I hear the term lady-boner.
SerialKillerJim
I...I wonder how that looks like
BeardKhan
Hey babe, wanna hear the story of Ainulindalë, the song of creation, and the corruption of Melkor?
DimeRich
Fuuuck yes.
BeardKhan
But then came Eärendil in his Sky-ship, along with the eagles, fighting the dragons and losing many, but victoruis in the end (7/?)
BeardKhan
Melkor, Later known as the dark lord Morgoth, was the strongest and smartest of the Ainur. During the song of creation his thoughts (1/?)
BeardKhan
In the end the Valar, Maiar, and a couple of kin of elves from Aman joined together to stop morgoth in the War of Wrath (5/?)
BeardKhan
to join him. Many did, thus becoming beings of darkness that served him (including his mightiest lieutenant, Sauron) (4/?)
BeardKhan
became corrupted and evil, corrupting reality and Arda (the world) itself. Even though Arda was already corrupted Morgoth continued (2/?)
BeardKhan
Sorry, i get carried away.
BeardKhan
The fight was going fine untill Morgoth released his ultimate weapon, Dragons, killing many of the forces of the Host of Valinor (6/?)
BeardKhan
to spread discord in Arda, and forging his material evil kingdom on it. He corrupted the minds of many (including the balrogs) (3/?)
BeardKhan
were he would remain until the day of the Dagor Dagorath (Battle of battles, or Final Battle) (9/9)
BeardKhan
Morgoth was captured, bound, and put into trial for his crimes. He was sentenced to decapitation, and his spirit sent to the void(8/?)
isuckatnames
I read the books...how you doin'?
GoAvadaKedavraYourself
*when Colbert talks.
brandoncordell
Colbert is a huge Tolkien nerd. He beat Peter Jacksons Tolkien expert in Tolkien trivia while visiting LotR set
ilovecatsss
Trust me, that wouldn't be hard...
WingsAtThe5peedOf5ound
is it bad i know all of this?
ANUWBIS
NOPE because Colbert is a Tolkein Encyclopedia
Elle19
Is this from 2006?
pausedownAupArevertingtolastcheckpoint
yes. http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181944/june-07-2006/balrog
IWishIWasLokiEnoughToMeetTomHiddleston
I thought he looked younger!
balkingtowinnie
so this means the Lord of the Rings could be a real religion then? Because I would love to convert.
TheTeeminSteaminScreaminMemeinSemenCreaminDemon
And all for the Ring, (elvish amen)
fantasyprone
Pick your deity, they've got a bunch. I like Aulë and Mandos, but I think Ulmo's my #1. He never gave up on us.
fitlex
I hope you've heard this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AfNOKQdY-U
fantasyprone
not until today :o
Zerubbabel
Well LOTR is heavy Christian allegory, so you might as well just join the source :P
balkingtowinnie
you got me there...
DuneMafia
Why should one need to convert to/from at all? Religions are cultural values, ideologies, philosophies. assimilate the good parts and chill.
antonnitro
THIS. Religion is not even near being my center of interest but I have always assimilated good parts of different beliefs. Everyone should?
balkingtowinnie
I just want to worship Gandalf.
DuneMafia
What's stopping you?
balkingtowinnie
that Lord of the Rings is not a religion.... yet!
DuneMafia
Who cares if it isn't a religion...
LordSauron
Not me...? That hurts, man. That hurts.
balkingtowinnie
All Hail Lord Sauron
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
We're hitting this weird crossroads in reality where the fake news is the credible one that fact checks the real news.
AnthonyStark
and both are fiction.
Pharya
We hit that a while ago. Now that you've woken up allow me to warmly welcome to the world!
mininimi
not arguing with the validity of this statement in general, but in this case, the fact checking doesn't address the actual content
eddysamson
and yet despite a decade of this show (and close for Colbert) people still just laugh at the BS they uncover instead of do anything about it
funkjacket
That's the whole point: nothing can be done. We have a representative democracy, and we're all shitheads.
AsYouKnow
For a form of government which engenders such lively debates democracy is astonishingly good at preserving the status quo.
funkjacket
"encourages lively debates?" When was the last time average americans discussed their concern over drone bombing kids in Pakistan?
funkjacket
status quo is also maintained with moneypower
funkjacket
seriously, media = minds are controlled
LaserFromTheSky
Seriously. Why do the comedians have to constantly point out "News channels" mistakes.
SirLordBaronvonVaderham
Because no one else does it in a way that people listen to
alwaysacritic
Sometimes because it's easy to joke about (a.k.a. comedy), more often because someone needs to fact check those bastards.
mixylodian
Isn't it great that the news is getting fact checked? Of course the results will be hilarious.
cgrig42
But ... it IS real news. He just makes jokes out of it. How does this make it fake? He doesn't make up news stories
Adrxone
I believe the correct term is called info-tainment.
TheReallyBIGDoor
The fake news has done that since it's inception. Part of the comedy is pointing out the flaws in the real news' 'facts'.
bringbakfirefly
Not really. The "real" news has always spouted bullshit.
TheRealJeffLebowski
As a college student, I wrote an entire paper on this exact subject.
PepeHalpert
Cool topic for a paper.
cokebender
Would it be too much to ask for a copy? :) I'm just really interested.
TheRealJeffLebowski
Unfortunately the computer i had it saved on decided to have a melt down and got recycled :(
cokebender
Boooo too bad. Could've been a nice read. Keep making interesting papers tho.
ElFergo
I read an article that said Jon Stewart is the most credible news source out there.
MrBig
Colbert is more credible then Stewart, Stewart has gotten way left leaning recently to be the most credible.
jrau18
Are they still considered fake news? Shouldn't they be re-classified as Satirical News?
IAmTheSpy
This is my new headcanon.
fallingup39
The Onion is "fake news."
jrau18
Which is what I said elsewhere.
GalacticPussy
Yes! I agree with you. It's REAL stories. They don't make up stories. It's satire. I saw Jon Stewart classified as fake and I was PISSED!
jrau18
Onion News Network would be fake news
GingerComingToGetYouInTheNight
They're comedians who only report for 20 minutes a day. It is informative but you can only cover so much in that time period.
bubblehearth
And you still get more real news than a day worth of the news networks.
jrau18
That doesn't mean it's not news.
GingerComingToGetYouInTheNight
I don't think I said it didn't... my point is that watching a 20 minutes show is not enough to inform yourself on the issue.
jrau18
Something tells me you'll be better informed than by turning into any of the "proper" news programs.
mastershake28
i'd call it interesting news, or entertaining news. news that doesn't suck
CaptainSatire
I find most news programs entertaining. Like, reality television sort of entertaining. You just gotta handle feeling a bit dirty afterward.
AsYouKnow
Just because I'm laughing doesn't mean I'm not deeply distressed by some of the stories.
mastershake28
yeh, i feel the same way. i like the way jon stewart gives the news. he tends to have more serious moments than colbert, but he can be (1/2)
mastershake28
equally hilarious as well (2/2)
bubblehearth
Never get into a facts-off with Colbert about LotR. You will lose. Every time.
caelanga
That is so true!
stargatemunky
because he has a team of writers
bubblehearth
He is actually a have LotR nerd and fan. Any time he is quoting those facts, it's all Colbert baby.
stargatemunky
so hobbit
wackjack
This is why I love this man.
RiverBear
James Franco learned the hard way!
DMGuy
"You come into my house?!"
DarylHeisenBauer
How dare you?!?!
ImNietzscheBietzsche
Oh god YES
riddlenigma
Yeah, you tell them, James Franco!
KanKan669
It's almost like going against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
shimmeries
You deserve all the +1s
CarInAVet
I want to just to test my knowledge. :D
AWWWWWYEAAAAAAHHHH
I'm sorry. I can't give you any more points. You have 666 points.
kattpappan
http://youtu.be/bqBxiT40DF0?t=5m16s
DharmaBum59
as massive LotR/colbert geek, i want to so badly just to see how badly i would have my ass kicked with knowledge
shiningmidnight
IIRC Peter Jackson had his Tolkien expert square off against Colbert, and Colbert won.
DharmaBum59
not surprised. after seeing the hobbit, im skeptical if jackson even read the book himself
hheva
Even Peter Jackson would agree.
yuloforce
He could probably beat Tolkien himself
Konoton
The best you can do is tie him.
OtherErinFromTheOffice
He is America's Nerd. and it is amazing.
MrBurd
I have the feeling he'd even outsmart Tolkien himself.
WhatzitTooya
No big deal, J. R. R. Tolkien died 40 years ago...
mindolluin
Let's not get crazy here, Tolkien was an advanced expert in several languages and invented several of his own. Colbert would be his star!
carliface
He was on set of the movies and outsmarted the LoTR facts guy they had to make sure everything stayed true to the books.
BlackOrchid
Balrogs aren't maiar, Sauron is a maiar. Melkor made the balrogs.
Gatejejf
Eru (Iluvatar) is the only creator of things. Some of the lesser maiar (balrogs) joined with Melkor (actually Morgoth at this point). 2/2
BlackOrchid
If so, tell me this, If Olorin got toggether with Varda, and had a baby, would he be a Maia, a Valar or an Inca?
Ulmo
Balrogs are Maiar, re-read Of Enemies in Valaquenta in The Silmarillion...
BlackOrchid
Will do sir.
Gatejejf
Correct, Sauron is a maia* (maiar is plural). So is Gandalf and the rest of the Istari (wizards). Melkor made nothing. He mutated things 1/?
LordSauron
*waves* You called?
BlackOrchid
I don't remember anything about Balrogs being Maiar.
BlackOrchid
Well, anyway Iluvatar was a pretty shity god.
BlackOrchid
I thought Melkor made Balrogs just like Aulë made the Dwarves
itspeanutbutterjellytimesodontforgetthebread
How do you get this much information?? I thought there were only 4 books...
deadhead82
Oh no my friend, he has written MANY books. Middle-earth is one of, if not the most, extensive worlds ever created.