gimmegreen
208088
7573
221
Sneezes are one of two physiological responses that cannot be voluntarily stopped once they have started.
Ejaculation is the 2nd...
One human erection has enough blood to supply 3 gerbals.
It is impossible to lick your own elbow.
Our bodies produce 1 liter of saliva a day
The Human body can operate without a brain
Beards are the fastest growing hairs on a human. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet.
It only takes 7lbs of pressure to rip your ear off.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Chris plays basketball like a sissy girl
JFKsHelmet
The beard thing is completely false, most peoples beards have a terminal length.
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Yeah, and terminal length for most people is only around 1.5 feet.
TheGayPenguin
Most people's all the hair on their bodies has terminal lengths, otherwise we'd have mops flopping out of our pants.
TheAnswerIsAlwaysYuengling
Some of these are a little iffy, but the last one is obviously 100% legit.
HouinKyouma
Yeah, stopping a sneeze isn't very difficult.
Fenris802
My son can lick his own elbow
LiTMac
You must be a proud parent.
Fenris802
You have to encourage all their talents...
sideslick
You produced a mutant.
Fenris802
We're creating his X-man uniform as we speak.
secretlyacat
Tell that to the wet spot on my elbow
IFapMercilessly
that's not saliva...
DMGuy
Your username makes this about 10x better.
BruRadley
THAT FREEDOM DICK. LOOK AT IT
DJai
Sources? No? Okay.
DragonsAteMyMarbles
So how many are scared of being killed by spiders?
bratford
I am scared of spiders. I also know it's irrational, and living in Canada being killed by one is totally a joke.
DragonsAteMyMarbles
Far more rational than many fears. I used to be terrified of the first Toy Story game on the Genesis :/
herooftheday07
Thanks for the spider gif, almost spilled my fucking coffee all over my desk.
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
It's so FUCKEN CUTE
actuallyyours11
I can feel them all over me now.
herooftheday07
God I hate that feeling!
phanpymon
But you can totally see it coming. The spider shuffles back and prepares to launch.
acerox15
I squealed and shoved my laptop away... Thankfully I caught it before it hit the floor. Gadammit OP.
anglophilestymie
I threw mine on the ground! Seriously. But it's alright.
herooftheday07
I always jump back from my computer screen when I see a large spider. One time I did it at work and ran into the girl behind me, (1/2)
herooftheday07
luckily she was so amused by the reaction she didn't care. (2/2)
boxotron
1. I can stop myself from sneezing pretty easily. 2. I only wish my beard grew like my hair. 3. I totally believe the spider shit.
Texantioch
I think he means while in the middle of the sneeze.
HouinKyouma
Still, even right before the explosion you can hold it back, I just kinda convulse awkwardly while doing it.
Vortex153
The beard one is entirely wrong. Beard's terminal length time is 2 years. Can't grow a beard at more than a foot a month.
PumpkinMasher
My beard grows very quickly, but it always stops about midchest and never gets any longer.
brokenmasquerade
I've been driving in dangerous circumstances and managed to focus away a sneeze. My nose felt like it was buzzing for a while, but it worked
AskingQuestionsYouDidntKnowYouNeededAnAnswerTo
1. Do you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth? That's the sneeze-stopper I was taught!
AskingQuestionsYouDidntKnowYouNeededAnAnswerTo
The time that I found it important to suppress a sneeze was during group seated meditation so I like that the tongue thing is unobservable.
ashleyhaynes
I pinch the top of the bridge of my nose, almost my tear ducts. It works every time. (60% of the time.)
notverycleverfox
I just start breathing through my mouth rather than my nose.
corditedelite
My beard has been growing untrimmed for 8 months. It's not even an inch long.
PumpkinMasher
Mine grows fast but stops at a certain length. I even cut it 2 lengths and the short part "caught up"
noonerspisms
Piiiiiiics
corditedelite
You want pics of my scraggly jaw pubes?
Flyndaran
Mine's slow as well. I didn't start shaving until I was 20.
JButts
Dafuq is a gerbal?
VagisilToothpaste
It's the mutant version of the more commonly known gerbil. They seek out erections and...well...You might not want to know the rest.
HollandTunnel
False, a lot of people can lick their elbows
littlelum
Fucking spiders
romans8
sneezing and ejaculation arent the only positive feedback systems in human physiology. Childbirth contractions and vomiting are others
romans8
I'm available for birthday parties, weddings, anniversaries, you name it!
DustyMist
Upvote for Chris!
Irishpotatoman
I fear death by spider, that's why I'm fucking afraid of the bastards.
rpurplel
The human body can NOT operate without a brain. The brainstem controls our breathing, heart rate, etc. (1/2)
FallingWithStyleSquirrel
I believe the human body can survive with only the brain stem which may or may not be considered part of the brain by some people.
rpurplel
Yes, you could survive with just a brain stem. "brain-dead" generally refers to everything- brainstem, cortex, cerebellum, etc.
rpurplel
And without a brain, there wouldn't be hormones, and without hormones, reproduction would be impossible, meaning no more humans.
theroguex
Brainstem =/= cortex, which is what most people equate to 'brain.' Without the cortex but with the brain, the human body most certainly 1/2
theroguex
can continue to operate. The person just wouldn't be conscious. Reproduction could still occur, too, just not self-willed. (2/2)
rpurplel
The quote just said brain. "Brain" in layman's terms for most people will normally refer to everything- cortex, cerebellum, brainstem.
Carolineeeee
my friend dislocated his shoulder and can lick his elbow just fine. disturbing, really.
lllthssm
theroguex
...is that you?
lllthssm
hahaha no a) its like the 3rd image on google image and b) i could not be that double jointed if i tried
DanielBjerke
Username not fitting
lllthssm
lol sorry to disappoint
DanielBjerke
I was so full of hope...
DrForgettable
Ruminants: "Only 1 liter of saliva a day? How cute." (Fun fact! Cattle produce about 150 liters of saliva/day)
celeritous
The beards. I don't believe you.
IDownvoteEverythingIDisagreeWith
Yeah it's not accurate. It doesn't take into account that the hair falls out and has to regrow from zero length multiple times during a life
12UglyTacos
Hey Chris ;)
[deleted]
[deleted]
12UglyTacos
Hahahaa...Hi
FrogPaste
I'm gonna need some verification on that brain one.
Mystic5523
Yeah, people really need to stop repeating the elbow lick deal
PeaceAndFlowers
I would like some sauce on the brain/body operation because I call bullshit
darrex
Headshots usually seem to work..
BentEars
In NW Florida, I see people's bodies operating without brains All. The. Time! I call them "drivers".
ibearbadnews
since the brain stem controls like all vital functions I'm pretty sure it's nonsense
theroguex
The brainstem is technically not part of the cortex, which is what most people associate with 'brain.'
aurbanpirate
As a medical student, I can provide some clarification. The human body can operate with a nonfunctional cortex, but brainstem is vital.
IHaveAPhrasalUserNameLikeThisOneCauseTheyAlwaysGetTheTopComment
About to say that. You can live without your cerebrum and cerebellum. There are rare cases where exencephalic children are born alive.
salsadetomate
I have a neuroscience test tomorrow morning but I'm on imgur. I'm going to go ahead and pretend this thread is part of my studies.
aurbanpirate
Brainstem controls core body stuff like breathing, heartbeat & blood pressure.
aurbanpirate
In fact, clinical death is brain-death (specifically brain-stem), from which no one has ever returned from. Actually 0 people. No one. Ever.
BrianMFTurner
I can lick my own elbow. And Chris does NOT.... girls play better.
lavendargooms
Me too! I feel like I've corrected about 20 people quoting Snapple caps over the years.
AcclaimNation
I don't understand how this is meant to be an insult.
kirbycoffey
I can lick mine too! Long tongue and weird arms.
MissKayree
I can lick mine too.
dthmngr
I can as well. Hyper-mobility is fun.
Ballgirl415
Elbow lickers unite! We're a rare breed apparently.
NerdyDirtyCurvy
I can too.
dontFUCKINcare
I can too! I'm almost positive that being able to is because of a combination of shoulder flexibility & having a long neck &/or tongue.
sparkledick
Yup, can definitely do it too. I always loved showing it off when people tossed that bullshit fact out there.
DaggiePoo
I can totally and easily, lick my own elbow. I have a collagen mutation that makes me bendy.
BrianMFTurner
Ehlers danlos! Pretty much anyone that can do it has this.
theclevergirl
Pics or it didn't happen
BrianMFTurner
Will you feel clever if I do upload a pic?
TheLegendaryBlackBeastOfAaaaarrrrrrggghhh
I could too. It would demand some preparation (severing arm from body), but I could totally do it.
Meck
so, i gotta ask: do u ever log off imgur? Do you always type ur username?
TheLegendaryBlackBeastOfAaaaarrrrrrggghhh
I log in using my email ;)
Topp023
Can we make a club? For people who can lick their elbows?
NellRaiser
We definitely should, very exclusive.
Topp023
Pics of hot elbow licking action or you're not allowed in.
NellRaiser
wrthgdrver710
AHAHA NANCY GRACE !!
ImaUnicorn
Complete moron.
Blaised
Fucking lost it at that one
buttpiratesofdarkwater
i died.
darxide
If ever there were proof that you can exist without a brain, she is it.
Magster2004
BOOZA and HOT PANTS
ceeejayoh
I finally decided to make an account. Here's a gif for you Jay: http://imgur.com/rDAOn
rainbowsandbutterflies
Aw, it's a gif for ants.. Keep trying and someday you will have ears as big as mine.
PetrificusTotalus
Welcome Chris. You have taken the next step.
DogInBoots
Well played!
actualbeauquet
get it together ssgt chris something
RoseanneRosannadanna
One of us! One of us! One of us!
WordsUnknown
O̷̰̖̬͔̖͆́͋̾ͭ̀N̡̆͋ͣĚ̟̤̥͎͞ ̚͏̜̭̥͈̜̰Ö̶̩̰́̾̒ͯ͌ͮ͑F͉̍̆͟ ͖̩̲̪ͦ͗͑U͇̖̜̗͓̜̱͋ͬ͐͒̌Ș̡͇̞̭̥ͭ͐͒̆̈́̄̔
slapmyassandcallmesusan
One two three four, I declare an imgur war.
MarTurasMe
what is this a gif for ants
itmaybesmall
Commenting for future reference
esparker14
Lionskull
just to let u know, u have just shot any chance of getting better at basketball, b/c of all the time u will be here instead of in the court
gimmegreen
After 3 years of lurking this post finally brings you out? VICTORY!
hatziko
in other news, Chris comes out
Cammaster
I feel like I'm witnessing something special.
ceeejayoh
I hate you -__-
lostconfusedandeasilydistractedheylookapenny
HELLO FELLOW AIR FORCE PERSONNEL!!!
CheeseBakedCrouton
As Security Forces personnel. I'm going to have to detain you. Morale is not authorized under AFI 52-621. Turn 180 degrees from my voice.
ceeejayoh
Hello!
lostconfusedandeasilydistractedheylookapenny
do you really play basket ball like a sissy girl?
sp4cepope
So i heard you play basketball like JD on scrubs. Step it up Turkleton.
Filzgleiter
About the elbow licking:
ElegantKitty
as a pansexual... hi ;3
ProbablynotaBear
I can lick mine!
paigezero
I was just about to ask if any had the clip from QI of a lady doing this but this works too. Myth busted.
PhuckKnuckles
I feel kinda creepy for asking, but.. uh... sauce?
GhostlyRomaines
She's a fairy
theyateallmychips
Right, makes me doubt every thing else on this post. :/
DeltaBladeX
Even the bit about Chris?
Tazzmission
Tell @Sammerz to prepare her inbox. Again.
Pekwachnamaykoskwaskwaypinwanik
Dat tongue....
thefeev
dat a looooong tongue!
Rypley
Burn the witch!!!
EvenBetterCool
Preach it.
icametodrinkmilk
Yeah I can lick my elbow, and my neck
ImGettingPaidForThis
Did you prepare your inbox before this reply? I hope so.
LadyCass
Yep, i can also lick my elbow.
thefrug
I just confirmed point #2
FeignedSmile
Known lie just to get people to lick their elbows.
tominhawaii
Heck yeah, and I'm pretty sure I could cut my arm off above the elbow then lick it.
Dooood
Then it is no longer your elbow. It is your ex-elbow. You may still possess it, but it is not your elbow anymore. Then you only have one.
dfeels123
http://imgur.com/3EkvS
AngelThatFell
...sup.
findmeinbadcomments
I want to be a girl and her girlfriend so bad right now.
mydickwhen
right? I know a girl who can do that. Weird, but not impossible. And no, I don't have her number.
somis
I can do that, too! Yay for us!
WhiteGuy021
Yeah I can do it too.
Spiked
I know someone that can lick their elbow 2 different ways and doesn't even have a long tongue.
PinkDalek
Can you give them my number?
Spiked
Depends, are you into the under-aged? http://readeroffictions.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/chris-hanson-gif.gif
PinkDalek
Oh, look at the time! I've got to go Christmas shopping now. Bye!
traceureli
may not have been the smartest idea to post your talented tongue on here
AIDSINACAN
Hot.
ATFAgentlol
I like that girl's tongue.
ChefG0ldblum
I remember reading the fun fact about licking elbows in middle school and being like "oh what this?" and doing it in front of everyone.
TheRicM
I can do this, but my arm has to be straight
totallynotabandonedaccount
Guinness World Records at one point put a PSA for people to stop sending them videos of them being able to do it, because it was that common
tuxedobob
Back of your head next.
musicalmammal
I just spewed a little
AwwwwwwwwwwYissssssssss
I know 2 people who can do it!
purpleskunk
I can also lick my elbow.
YourGod
:Q
shaltanaclinguist
I also have a long tongue. I never need a spoon for pudding cups.
OhnoDinosaur
Thank you! This is NOT impossible. You just have to be slightly deformed (my upper arms are, evidently, a little short).
lozeldatkm
That's a girl with impressive weenis-licking experience.
accujimmy
I haven't heard weenis since around 1986. Thanks for the memories.
WeepingAngel
Yeah, I can do it too. I've met maybe two others who can too, but it's not entirely impossible.
LessThanHumbleScott
I can do that too.
Rhase
I, too, can lick my own elbow. But only the left one. I'm probably broken.
mkjkjlasf
I can also do this.
MetalXplorer
As a lesbian trapped in a straight mans body...hello there
Drakhma
just cut ur tounge off, and rub it against your elbow, boom you licked it
Fuzzbutts
My boyfriend has an extremely long tongue and licking his elbow is only the second best thing he can do with it.
Fuzzbutts
Pushing around food is the first.
Killocity
Heeeyyyy- oh.
PinkDalek
ThePieceKeeper
Heyyyyoooohhhhhhh
roqueofspades
I can also lick my elbow. I was about to post a response....
3794
that tounge tho..
NotaLizardmen
It is not that it is impossible, you can't lick your elbow because it is illegal.
DeanMarkTaylor
I can do this - useless skill 111
CharmAndWit
I'm not alone! I've never seen someone else who can lick their elbow!
ElastaGirl
Pretty sure I know this girl.
broodletoodle
I can lick my elbow!
MyWifeThinksIamAddictedToImgur
Ya my buddy who was double jointed could do it too.
stutteringbob
You can also stop a sneeze with pressure points on the bridge of the nose. I do it constantly.
bluemofia
But why would you want to do that? Sneezing is so satisfying!
RRBeardman
The post-sneeze runny nose is a good enough reason for me to want to avoid it XP
theroguex
I disagree. When I sneeze (which is rarely), I sneeze at minimum 10 times. It's annoying.
stutteringbob
I don't need everyone in the office dropping to the floor like there was a gunshot?
horizontalcracker
people in your office be sheltered
FalafelisImportant
I agree. I don't sneeze that often, but when I do it's always a celebration.
myyypreciousssss
ahh yay i can do it too :D
flounderflound
Anyone can do that if they have a tongue like Gene Simmons.
Yummmi
I can do that too :D
LosPer
Pics or you're lying. For, um, prurient reasons.
AndImRonBurgundy
Me too!
JustanotherdamnMinnesotan
I have the WEIRDEST boner right now
IndianaIsWeird
me too brah
Biggietron
Having a long tongue is cheating :P
asimovfanatic
I have an average-sized tongue and I can do it.
lilxlion
commenting for delivery
TotallyNotJaimeLannister
Pics or it didn't happen
asimovfanatic
I need three hands and it's almost 4 am here. Give me a few hours and I'll get back to you.
TotallyNotJaimeLannister
Done
YaCANADAbitch
Gene Simmons illegitimate daughter doesn't count. And I dont even care that this was posted 8 hours ago.
MakisDad
I need that, in my butt
knightswhosayekkiekkiekkiPTANGzoomboingznourrigmNI
So on a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
BeardKhan
Hello, i see you have shoes on your wall, that being said: How you doing?
RainDropsOnKittens
as a lesbian...hi
MyBFGotMeAddictedToImgur
As a gay man, teach me.
harrypotterandthechamberofimgur
as a pansexual woman... hello to everyone.
TheVikingKasper
As a straight male. hi
SummerCassady
oh hello ;)
Falalalalanobodyknowsmeonhere
as a straight man, hello
kinggambit
as a cow moo
AguyonImgur
As a mute,
LizardManFace
As a mere set of many groups of symbols assigned arbitrary meanings, greetings.
BalmDeBono
http://imgur.com/ZeaNRgL
MeanKitty
Mother of God!
Falalalalanobodyknowsmeonhere
O.O
MichelMichelMichel
Is this... real ?
fluffygorilla
All bow to hypno-tongue!
motherfuckingpeanutbutterandjam
how the fuck do they find space for that in their mouth.
itsdarkandicantseewhatimtyping
I would probably end up choking on it if my tongue were that long.
YokoHasReturnedTheyCry
Not the only thing you'd choke on
Tuttle
is that a motherfucking giraffe?
Griffy11
Why is this something you have to record while driving?
monkeyseed
I didn't know that was possible
QuadrilateralEnix
It's not supposed to be.
LosPer
Sigh, *unzips*...
Nicholascagewithacoathangerandnicklebackalbums
I too can lick my elbow. Hooray for long tongues!
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Now do this! http://imgur.com/YhrVazc
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Ehm, thanks for sharing?
bitemypixels
I .. I am sorry I delete that hahahah
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
haha it's fine, just kind of a random thing to share with the world :)
InfinitusEquitas
I am disgusted, scared, and a little a aroused.
TVpresspass
more than a little
fletcherface
k. http://imgur.com/4MyjmuY
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
OP never delivered as well as someone who isn't OP!
fletcherface
Well, that is me...Sorry I'm not op. =P
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
Delivery is the thought that matters!
chickieboomboom
I've never known anyone else who could do this! (Totally how I hooked my husband)
TeslaCoil00
I can do that!
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
A lot of people can, one even delivered surprisingly!
TeslaCoil00
I felt really unique :/
HowDoIInternet
Best. Blow job. Ever.
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
As a guy I can do this
tnin4u
The ladies must love you.
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
Can't complain....and neither can they.. huehue
AHornyRhino
I have never been more aroused.
HodgePodgekin
SHE KEEPS A CREATURE CAPTIVE IN HER MOUTH?
bergstrom
WTF!
NinjasStoleMyMama
crazy fucking eyessss
TVpresspass
I feel uncomfortable clicking this at work.
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheGingerBeardedBiologist
A lot of people can, one even delivered surprisingly!
ThisWillNotEndWell
Wow, thats so hot.
Chachiworks
I'd like to talk to you about the Avengers initiative.
hx50
The crazy eyes at the end really complete this gif...
bonko
the end.. the beginning.. its reversed after half so
DeanMarkTaylor
I can do this - useless skill 110.
SirLurksalotOfLurkinghamManor
sigh...unzips
elgordo889
I thought viralizer comments ended yesterday?
IThoughtSheWas18
shots fired!!..oh right....
SchrodingersDog123
I'm aroused.
PetrificusTotalus
Weirdest. Blowjob. Ever.
IdKillForAGuinness
You say that like it's a bad thing!
QuadrilateralEnix
Best. Rimjob. Ever?
iamthisguy247
*best
garu81
Stop, stop, my penis can only get so erect
OzaiR2k
Weird is good.
elten
false
Vercci
Lick Bigge
westPAguy
hahahahahahah!
themaskedhobo
God Damn did i laugh!
Renarde
Why. The. Fuck. Would. You. Put. That. Spider. GIF. Without. A. Warning.
JonathanKFF
http://youtu.be/1oRRBPdM6Wc
PrettyKitty1029
It definitely made me very uncomfortable and my heart beat faster.
sparflingo
This needs to be top comment
Magster2004
Almost got off Imgur, I was so startled!
DMGuy
It actually hadn't been going when I scrolled past, so I figured it was just a picture. Had to check again after reading your comment.
ArniePye
I almost shat myself into a paradox
MrsHiddle
You have made my day!
brokenmasquerade
You. I like you. I like the way you use words.
ArniePye
It's my super power
immagonnatickleyourpicklesooooogooooood
Haha, Chris you little bitch.
QuadrilateralEnix
Everybody Hates Chris.
MeanKitty
LOL good one!
2Grenades1Strax
Classic Chris
MonsieurBon
Haha! Classic Ross!
Chrisgopher
We prefer Baseketball.
MooseSK
That's Sergeant Bitch to you.
JustAReallyCoolGuyWhoDoesntAfraidOfAnything
Yeah fuck you chris, you are just the worst type of person.
alligatorhug
LOL!!!
lunaisbestprincess
Go air force!
Vrellyrell
And Eat Shit Frank!
hx50
*SSgt Chris
TheRealMulletMan
Beat me right the fuck to it
Magster2004
BOOM. I was trying to remember Air Force rank to make this comment.
hx50
It's easy, count the stripes and subtract one... that's how you tell rank in the AF... we like things simple :)
Magster2004
The flight suits kill me. Not sure why, but seeing them as normal uniform throws me off.
hx50
they're SOOO COMFY though... it's like wearing pajamas to work.
bangarangjones
simple would probably be whatever system you 'subtract one' from i'm thinking...ʰᵒᵒᵃʰ
jaberdaber
*United States Airforce Staff Sargeant Chris
scottycatman
*United States Air Force Staff Sergeant Chris something-ending-in-an-"O"
bannedfornsfw
Sergeant*