Aussie dump. Just like a regular dump but it'll probably kill ya

Jun 13, 2016 1:34 AM

Fucking love Carl Barron his stand-up is so good!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gotta love Russell Coight lol

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fucking love carl baron. To the passenger. Sir do you want come coffee yeah just a touch. And for you sir(carol). Can I have a feel

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie, G'day. Anyone familiar with Pandora from borderlands has experienced Australia on easy.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

STRAYA CUNTS!

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

10 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 2

Karl is my hero

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

i cant fucken stand the cunt. such a bloody dickhead

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

"The shit I do to be famous." Grumpy Cat, probably.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kaaal Stephanaicedvovovic

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Go to school with his son and all we ever call him is Stephan iced vovos

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Australia is a great example on why unisex prisons are a good idea.

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

When you see an Aussie dump this big...

10 years ago | Likes 449 Dislikes 2

The single most Australian thing ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR2OWrOc8xk

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 turns out the Norse Gods were just time-traveling Aussies

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kookaburra sitting in the old gum treeee

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Please I need to find this gif

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

It's not far.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've been living in Australia the last 4 months and these are the truest thing I've ever read. Hilariously accurate

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Did you know that food had the fuck in it? Dad use to say carol you've burnt the fuck out of it.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie I've built up a tolerance. So the worst it'll do to me is make me shit drop bear memes.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Not happy Jan.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Please explain.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No..."please explain" was a phrase frequently used by Pauline Hanson. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4tZRZSGxcE

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eyes on the Road Rhonda - Aussie proverb

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The other day I got a call from a customer from Australia. I couldn't understand a word he said. I am sorry, Australian Man.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha when I went to America that happened, I had to speak slowly otherwise no one understood me, they'd just look at me all confused

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That might be why we like the fakey accents from TV and movies. We have a hard time understanding the real deal.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Haha you're probably right, I didn't realize how quickly we spoke until going there :p

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ahh right the cringey cockney-cross-south african lol

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Watching Mad Max:Fury Road was an experience because The People Eater was on fucking All Saints

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The fuck is this?

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Missy Higgins, The Sound of White

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The White Australia Policy.

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

I'm going to Australia in December. I wonder how true these are

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Where in Australia are you going? It is summer in December, but certain parts are hotter than others

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I have not thought that far ahead

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They're all true, except that a tourist probably wouldn't notice, you'd have to live here (except the last one, you'll hear that)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pretty true actually. Except how bogan that Steve Erwin wannabe is. He's playin that up

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you'll be singing Christmas carols about snow in extreme heat

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

CRASHING THROUGH THE BUSH, IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE, KICKING UP THE DUST, CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

DECEMBER?! Oh honey, you're gonna fry!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'll take it over Chicago winter

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wear fucking sunscreen! And a hat lol

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm black. I don't need sunscreen

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well that'll be cheaper lol

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What's playschool?

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Mr Rogers meets Sesame Street.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

interesting

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Playschool is so much a part of Australian childhood that I cried at the 50th birthday video it put out this year

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

My childhood

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

A kids TV show

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What's Goon?

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Papsak

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

it's what gets you through uni

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

This is the most correct answer

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The best worst time of your life

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Short for "Flagon", wine in particular, cheap, but gets the job done. Now usually a cardboard cask, but still a "goon".

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah my Dad used to buy flagons (large 2L glass bottles) of Burgundy so dry you could have used it as paint stripper lol

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's boxed wine but you take out the silver bladder and drink from that or its just really cheal alcohol.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

An actual Australian might have to correct me, but I think it's boxed wine. Goon bags

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Ohhh.... childhood memories of inhaling the fruity lexia gas from mum's discarded goon bag

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Lols spot on!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

4l of 10% for $10 and it doubles for a pillow when you die

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

We furnished our share house in the 80s with cask pillows...was $3/box back then lol

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie, can confirm. Have died many times on goon.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Damn, thanks for all the replies. Guess I'm going to have to get on that Goon juice this weekend.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not much. What's goon with you?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What? No Emperor Nasi Goreng?!?

10 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

No Rhonda and Ketut?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He built the great wall of china to keep the rabbits out

10 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Too many rabbits, uh, in China.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

As a Malaysian, WHAT IS THIS?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not even a Gaytime

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Hard to have a gaytime on your own

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're doin it wrong then...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I want to watch all Aussie adventures now.

10 years ago | Likes 291 Dislikes 2

Yes you do, my friend. Yes you do.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We had 8 hours to go. And as every hour passed, there was 1 less

10 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 0

A salt water croc is not the kind of animal you'd like to meet in a dark alley..

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Time to hit the road.

10 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

I most enjoy when that line is dropped after something embarrassing/unfortunate. Which seems to be its only real use, I suppose.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you really should, i used to watch reruns as a kid on sick days when there wasnt much else on, always made me laugh

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I just did some brief searching. Don't know if it's all accurate: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYu4Hn7PLP2x_15uy-3z7f2aEcb2z6vRN

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Follow it up with David mcgahans world, trust me

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My local shops is called 'shoppo'

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#15 is kiwi

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Yep haha I saw the red shed in there too

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ware whare is absolutely kiwi

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Where everyone gets a bargain

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

uproot for russel coight

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Right now I'm in the front of dads Holden on the way to the local woolies to grab some grub for the barbie

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and make a quick duck into the bottle-o so the old man could buy some piss, and I must say this dump was bloody brilliant. Spot on champ.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an Aussie - I loved this.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

As a kiwi I loved this.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The warehouse is a nz thing. They have target in straya. Fyi.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

There was a Warehouse, then it became Sam's Warehouse. Now we just have Overflow and The Reject Shop.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So it wasnt THE warehouse though like in NZ?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmm, I think it was THE warehouse, big red building, kind of like a giant Silly Sollys.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

30% of australians are casual racists, The other 70% are full time racists.

10 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 11

The job market on full time racism has gotten pretty bad. Most people can only fin casual racist ones. Better pay but no job security.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Bloody boat-people taken our racism.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Damn foreigners taking jobs

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Bloody boat people.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

shove a lambington up ya

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Disagree

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

you have to go back

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I was going to say it's racist to call a whole race racist. But I know your a foreigner and therefore fucking wrong.

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

But Australian isn't a race.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Or you know, that's the Scandinavian god side of Thor coming out.

10 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 10

no cause he's Australian .... that's the point

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 9

Thaaank yoouuu, this was my exact reaction as well.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 4

yeah, and when they grow up they can come to Australia to party

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 7

Everyone knows only Australians get drunk and fight.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When killing most carbon based life forms, fire is effective. Not Aussie's though. We don't even have an ozone. Cold is our only weakness.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

My friend is over there 1.5 years, she says it's 12 degrees and she can't cope. We're Irish. That's like summer here!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Doesn't take more than a couple months of 30+ degrees every day before whats normal shifts up. Either that or you evaporate.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

15 degrees at night and I'm staying in, no matter what. I'm on the Gold Coast so we don't deal well with weather extremes.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I didn't know All Aussie Adventures was a thing, being American, but it looks bloody brilliant.

10 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 2

Are you sure you're American? Because "bloody brilliant" sounds way too British.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sending the DVDs of the show to my American friends!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

How can I get a copy? (I'm in the barren wasteland called Canada though...)

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Jbhifi.com.au ship worldwide I believe. Or just eBay. Well worth the money, but make sure you can play PAL format DVDs!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you say bloody out of habit or on purpose? Are you really American?

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

As an American:I worked odd hours, so on my days off I would end up playing Eve Online with the Aussies.My use of "Bloody" increased by 500%

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

haha That's awesome.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fair dinkum?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yep

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Streuth.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well y'all are useless with guns because you had machineguns and lost a war against emus.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

Protip: You can just go #11 :)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was too lazy to count them.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Uhh, if you'd seen a pissed off emu you'd understand.

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Y'all motherfuckers think Velociraptors in JP are bad, haven't seen a pissed off Emu coming at you.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This is one of my fave stories of Australian history

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0