dwim
670199
12182
251
This is life changing!
Gave it a go myself and it's pretty good! Less flavour than I expected but good cold with rum!
Jul 25, 2015 1:22 PM
dwim
670199
12182
251
Gave it a go myself and it's pretty good! Less flavour than I expected but good cold with rum!
Sauroctonus
I'd say it's more melon-changing than life-changing.
notirrelevant
@OP Pro tip: add just a little salt to enhance the flavor
nothungrygames
Is that giant knife really necessary?
volatiley
Would you prefer a small dull one?
Jusmar
A sharp paring one would have done the trick.
vogonkop
Doesn't match the overkill theme
theassistanceofmyespontoon
You can also substitute a turtle. Not as tasty , but just as fun at parties.
ColdCorona
You forgot the tequila
MasterOfEntropy
I was going to say: you better put some ice cold vodka in there
llamasaylol
IMO. After having it twice, vodka watermelon is overrated. Rum will probably be better.
WhatExactlyIs
uhh tipsy bartender? give credit where it is due.
Greeneyeddevil
He should throw in a couple of lemons before blending. Watermelon Lemonade is a gift to us from the Gods.
beechSco
As a Brit I simply don't understand the American obsession with watermelon.
Blovine
gotta make a small hole, hmmmm biggest knife I have? Perfect
Phale
what about the seeds?
DeadpoolFangirl
Put...put some eyes on it!
TheAntelopes
WHITE TABLECLOTH? YOU MADMAN!
RaoulZDuke
There's a penis joke here somewhere.
Albertiarp
But for some reason eating it tastes much better.
gksTkrkwl
noonecaresdude
Love it!
volatiley
MacGyver award for you @dwim @anakedgoober @seconddoctor
anakedgoober
Yay I got an award you get an upvote in return @volatiley
RagDollz
someone put googly eyes on it likes puking and crying
WallCrawlerArt
Was really hoping someone would do this.
RagDollz
me too... me too.....
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Origamurai
Would drink straight out of the melon
hils13
No one bitched about GMO's when the seedless watermelon came out.
Sharecrow
Don't breathe this!
bachterman
melonsmoke?
vogonkop
Smoke two melon in morning. Smoke two melon at night....
BigAssBadBear
The blend tec blender will blend anything, except Chuck Norris.
Sharecrow
Indeed, Chuck Norris would blend the blender itself.
SamMan
Now do this with one you've allowed to slowly absorb a bottle of vodka
FunCinnabun
Why not just pour the vodka in there? Takes too long to absorb
volatiley
Now freeze. The portal will prevent unwanted freezplosions.
greenbigfrog
gotta try this!
GodEmperorOfImgur
Don't forget the rum!
Lionskull
it's easier to just cut up watermelon and put it in a blender. add a a few 1 or 2 strawberries and some sugar and it tastes pretty great.
greenbigfrog
but the shown way would look better if you would drink right out of it!
HighwayStar
Amateur. This is how you eat a watermelon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gUKZpgVfMo
growingincircles
I watched way more of that than is healthy.
p5surf
Changed my life forever. Thank you for posting this.
d1337er
I follow this school of watermelonology https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-eitsutpOc
foriambill
not too sure about the second secret ingredient. yes, I watched too much of it.
mortiseraphim
This has changed my whole outlook on watermelon...
DidiSprint
what about the seeds? 0.o
Xendrash
In some places illegal to sell them. Seeds are now intellectual property of companies, seedless watermelons are the norm gmo out there.
Empurpled
You needed the mixer paddle thing as a guide to cut an uneven square?
metrostarshipp
It's to make sure it'll fit you donut
dwim
When I did it I just jammed my knife in there and hoped for the best
volatiley
Said the serial killer
ThisIsGod
Sounds like my sex life...wait...
robotzombies
That's what I usually say about my ex. Wait.
VenalFax
It's so the mixer paddle will fit in.
ihateyourhappiness
Cut a small hole. If the mixer paddle doesn't fit, make the hole a little bigger. Repeat as needed. Ain't hard, son.
Empurpled
There ya go.
VenalFax
unnecessary cutting. my grandfather always scolded me for not measuring before cutting. measure twice cut once he always said
ihateyourhappiness
Oh, sure. But I mean, it's a melon. Besides, they're doing this wrong. You just jam a vodka bottle in it and wait a while.
VenalFax
well not everyone wants to drink alcohol
littlegingerone
needs more vodka
ICanChangeMyUsernameWheneverIWantButIDontBecauseIAmGodDamnLazy
Maybe they don't drink alcohol? I dunno.
v0xb0x
And rum, imho a good wap needs booth, maybe even some fruity liquor with colors
SenorChrzo
Or less watermelon.
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
I'd go with rum, personally
halyeahboy
Or tequila
LordXeen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ Is this what you were looking for?
circuspandabear
Yep
astrobeard
You misspelled rum
volatiley
Like life
MrXtacle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feO2joeI6eY Like this?
MTBrains
Happy day, its Tipsy Bartender!
00Donut
My dad would cut a hole out of a watermelon, place a bottle of alcohol in it and let it soak for a day. Put the plug back, flip it over, 1/2
00Donut
put it in a cooler and take it to public events. I always asked why you wouldn't just cut it up and put it in containers instead.
llamasaylol
After trying injecting, and twice making a hole and letting it soak in. Cutting it up and putting pieces into a container is the best.
HulkHoden
needs more stick figure arms and eyes with matching "hblargh" expressions
littlegingerone
That. Would. Be. Brilliant
HulkHoden
thanks to my substandard photoshop skills we'll never achieve this :(
SkippyNightOwl
Just tried with vodka, and it made it too bitter. Rum would be better
IllyriaBlueHairedGoddess
We did half a melon with calico jack coconut pineapple and the other half vanilla vodka...turned out ok.
nowitsshowtime
Someone did this with too much vodka once. Layed on the floor with their pup for an hour and then went outside and puked all over the street
Pikkupanda
Layed?
nowitsshowtime
I suppose I had to much watermelon and vodka punch again last night
Pikkupanda
Well, that is a noble endeavor. Carry on, my friend.
McBook
A friend once injected vodka into a watermelon with a syringe
llamasaylol
In my experience this doesn't work very well. It comes straight back out and you don't get much left in.
littlegingerone
Best way to do it
llamasaylol
In my experience, no, it really doesn't work. The vodka just comes straight back out.
littlegingerone
Use the syringe to remove the water first... Then inject the vodka...
llamasaylol
Nope, you don't get enough out. Even with cutting a hole in the bottom and letting it drain first, you don't get enough out.
swatz
everclear!
anakedgoober
Instructions not clear... Dick stuck in blender
jawsmorgan
You stupid cunt
LiquidPoo
JamEngulfer
I'll admit it, I thought it was going to be a 'cut hole in watermelon, put your dick in it' tutorial.
WisdomPlaytime
I've done this watermelon hack before. Video makes it look much more flawless (and liquidy) than IRL.
Wardo
Instructions not cleaar... Dick stuck in watermelon.
NobodyTellHim
Instructions not clear...Watermelon stuck in dick.
Burnnnn46
Instructions not clear... Dick stuck under knife.
Voodoomancer
Instructions were plenty clear. Dick stuck in watermelon anyway.
TellusEidolon
New movie: American Watermelon
anakedgoober
Did you warm it up first
belleballistic
I dated a guy who made a bong out of a watermelon then proceded to fuck it.
belleballistic
After I think. I know he microwaved it first though. Weed is a hell of a drug.
Jester123ish
The real question, did you still date him afterwards?
belleballistic
Sadly yes. The sex was phenomenal. I guess he had lots of practice..
volatiley
Increase speed. Rinse flesh fragments in sink.
Jester123ish
Would this also work with a human brain?
RootBeerAri
There are two kinds of people
GhostlyGentleman
As disgusted as I am by you, I can't stand hear and lie about how that wasn't the greatest comment ever.
you8mycracker
Absolutely. Its basically the same at the morgue
IuhhhCANTTHINKOFANYTHINGCLEVER
fucking hilarious
DoubleTypicalChazz
(April Ludgate, 2015).
notthekaseyyouarelookingfor
Asking for a friend...
WhenEmusAttack
https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6gc06kMpd1rzmv6jo1_500.gif
player112354
The secret is knowing how to get thru the meninges
kelestofkels
Heeelll no.
laisametschbaetzlaondsoidawirschd
A Zombie as one of us!?
ellmitchell
If you can dream it you can do it
Mechlai
where's that gif of the guy with the foam and toothbrush?
RubyPorto
I seem to remember a pdf guide to self-trepanation floating around somewhere.
PorkinsWantsAllTheBacons
Starship Troopers
ForgetTheBirdFollowTheRiver
It's a bit more difficult. Once you get through the skull, you may want to remove the dura mater. It's like the skin on a potato.
SuperDiabetus
This made me think of monkey brains from Indiana Jones
hiphopbookshop
http://imgur.com/sFEoTzc
bearstrike
As a mobile user...is this a good?
Puppydonk
The key here is to go in through the nose, AFTER you place all the other organs in their canopic jars.
Jester123ish
That's just wrong, you can't buy canopic jars just anywhere you know.
0118999
There are two types of people...
steelydank
Asking the important questions.
Budreaux
Asking for a friend am I right?
heyguysimtom
asking for a friend of course
Juanitolon
http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/30/83/e5a907c14a74058ab41d89191a7dc61c.gif
ReverseEntropy
Found the zombie
WisdomCube
Yes.
?1
ermitanyo
SodaRayne
Huh, that's not entirely what I was expecting.
LennyFace
Therobpope
Yes, but just use the Dremel you were using to impromptu melonball the skull.
Taur622
Be sure to reach in and make a cut at the brain stem, you don't want those nerve fibers getting caught in your mixer.
Jester123ish
Isn't fiber supposed to be good for you?
bigdog
oh god, what am I reading!?
LordOfTheFilth
berderking
That's part of how mumification was done. Beater and all
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
Asking for a friend.
8bitdan
Ask Gemma Teller.
sillymapper
I think the movie called Header takes care of this question
ChaosLierLen637
Inquiring zombies need to know!
gloriaemilia
Next time on Hannibal...
ashmenon
Can confirm. Strain it though, those bone shards really hurt.
ThisIsNotMyRealFace
We've all got a little Dahmer inside...
hexxhexx
Brain Slurpees free at 7-11 for a limited matter of time.
dogsi
They do something similar here with Monkey's so I'd say yes?
AluminiumFalcon
Zombies everywhere need to know!
MnemonicMonkeys
Asking the real questions
JustJoshinMagic
I could see this on iZombie
Accou
Gave it a go myself and it's pretty good! Less flavour than I expected but good cold with rum!
peopleperson
It will https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JKBQnNs_wk
Ezbeat
Asking for a friend I see.
ChefHannibal
RealSlimeHours
i don't know if it was good or bad that I wanted to see a gif of it
WackTheHorld
It probably wouldn't not work...
ignatiuspopular
Only one way to find out....
LeumisRichardson
"If I only had a living brain." --=={ Dr. Frankenstein]}==--
thepuppypalace
not quite like this the veins and arteries would act as a drainage pipe down to the heart sauce: I cut out human brains for science
thepuppypalace
Although, you would get pretty large chunks of brain still in there.. also the brain doesn't squish like melons bc it's not 92% water
decline
just drink a glass of Chianti along wiht it and you'll be fine
neen26
Hmm, yes, with a nice chianti and some favra beans
Jjoooon
It HAS worked on the human brain.
zerobahamut03
Calm down Hannibal
RelevantImgurian
It does, but you're better off using a wire coat hanger in the shape of a hook. -Um, a friend of mine.
wambu
Fava beans and Chianti?
zerobahamut03
Calm down Hannibal
LustyLemons
Ask a Planned Parenthood doctor.
stevetehpirate
Cut the head in half using a bandsaw and scoop the brain out. Blast the brain out with water or air.
marksmind
only one way to find out
BlasserDuennerJunge
As someone working in a University Hospital. Not with that weak blender. But there are blender indeed working that out for you.
bigdog
*gasps
DoctorGrant
*gags*
dwim
Yes but much harder to cut the top open! less seeds, though.
snufl
You have to strap them down, too. Lots of flailing when you're peeling a human.
admiralawesome4213
Excuse me? I'll have you know that I am proud to have a seeded brain! Good day to you SIR!
Ravieolie
Depends...
volatiley
There are already access holes
MrRandom314159
Try the exact back of the head, near the base of the spine. It's much easier and gives you easier access for the whisk or egg beater.
LoudAngryJerk
i'm curious how you know either of those things to be true
dwim
Because... reasons?
LoudAngryJerk
http://data.whicdn.com/images/32696051/original.gif
lurkerturnedberserker
It is also difficult to cut the top open because of the human struggling
TellusEidolon
Pro-tip: Use chloroform. ;)
lurkerturnedberserker
Call me old fashioned but chloroform just takes out half the fun
mohansen
Not if you kidnap them properly
oblivioniscalling
something something WATERMELOAAN
RootAccess
yes but you'd only get the top half. you'd hit the tentorium.
ThisIsGod
The human skull cracks under the same psi it takes to split a coconut. Unless we're talking about babies then its akin to an orange or lemon
KelluvaKobra
The bells of Saint clements
dwim
Maybe I'll need a smaller paddle...
spooglecraft
You must be fun at parties.
magnusmanners
the fuck, imgur
ThisIsGod
I am not imgur. You have me confused with someone else.
klausnominomi
thanks, god
Mithi
Easy there, Hannibal.
hatlessspider
QueLindo
I don't get it, is Hannibal Buress a zombie or something?
Mithi
Not that Hannibal, even if a watermelon is involved!
CultivatingMassMac
Dahmer*
dogofthemilitary
Exactly what I was thinking
funkhomie
Leboeuf.*
starwingcorona
Well, that escalated quickly.
EmCeeMiNacion
It's Mr. Lecter, also, does he ever just blend the organs? I've only seen the first two seasons and he's never done it.
Mithi
I'd say that completely depends on the recipes.
kmikl
That's DOCTOR Lecter, and I'd imagine it would depend on what the recipe called for. I mean, rude liver pate or rude foie gras naturally.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
He blends a spleen.
BertTheBeard
Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter?
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude.
kmikl
It's the best way to make sure they don't go completely to waste.
smashpro1
Pina Skullodas!
Syncroincity
http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/chilled-monkey-brains-bowl-indiana-jones-temple-of-doom-3.jpg
LordOfTheFilth
fordello
Getting caught in the... brain.... Ok I'll leave
bexterbaxter
This does not have enough points...
richieb1530
futurama ?
smashpro1
Indeed.
PuttanescaTigerPrincess
Still trying to figure out what to do with that corpse, huh?
andrealemon
Yes but you need to shake them really hard first, get it all nice and scrambled. Sauce: Probably a white sauce, something light.
TylerBrass
what about the seeds?
RosesAreRedMyBedIsGreenIWantYouInItIfYouKnowWhatIMean
strainer.
jonasbm
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
statetheobvious
The seeds are strong.
ScaredOfCupcakes
If not seedless use a sieve
volatiley
BlendTech has a solution for that
Decapitron
I like the seeds.
WardSharlow
Great for spitting at people.
Fla1lure
I just eat them. Adds a contrasting texture ? Hah, actually I'm just lazy
dubstructor
Prepare yourself to learn about seedless watermelon
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_8WEt8Mew
MonteBurns
A lot of watermelons sold in the US are seedless now
TheThingThatPeopleNeverTalkAbout
My dream
applerazmataz
Good lord, they cracked the code!
pataglop
Witchcraft.
Thorlite
What a time to be alive!
TylerBrass
really mang that's fucked up, what happens to your seed once you eat that?
TsunamiJohn
"Seedless"
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
artificial* just like majority of other food
ElbowdeepinElmo
Like bananas - same story for them, only that they (from what I do know) have not a single type with seeds anymore.
lordxeon
Which is very seeded watermelons taste much better
SoOddICantEven
Actually, its becoming really hard to find one that actually does have seeds, even though they are so much better.
Omega2
You can't have seeded watermelons anymore, Monsanto will sue you for patent infringement.
imadethisjusttomakeyoulookstupid
they still have those nasty white seeds
CultivatingMassMac
I like the white seeds
jamesignatius27
I'll let you taste some of my white seed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Eviluigi
I like them too don't worry
SiIverSoul
I love having a mind that can only think of dirty things XD I bet you do son.. I bet you do :D
KeatonTS
at least they arent black
fakeassgrownup
KeatonTS
Hey, I'm just surprised I got 6 points
MonteBurns
You can eat them though
SouperScott
Having white seeds means that it is absolutely not seedless.
causality
You can eat the normal black ones too.
InitHello
Of course, but then a watermelon tree will grow out of your abdomen. Trust me, I'm from the internet, I know these things.
imadethisjusttomakeyoulookstupid
no one wants to
pizzahand
I am no one.
daboross
Honestly they aren't hard textured at all though. In a drink they would be indistinguishable from the flesh.
Scheiterhaufen
I like them :(