Profile! I'm an Imgurian. I also make silly gaming content on YouTube if you're into that sort of thing: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeCHKEvnNXAgjzDW4YySc4g It's better than it sounds, unless it sounds pretty okay in which case it's exactly as good as it sounds. Oh, and if you get me to the front page I'll...uh...let you choose the next game I record? Hell, I'll even stream it! But message me if you do, because I don't pay attention. They gave me 500 characters for my comments, and I use all of them.
That guy knew they needed a control group to set the bar, so he answered the
"You wanna trophy? Here's yer fucken trophy!"
"Neat! When are you getting married?" Next month. "So you're going to Wimberly next month? For how long?" Two weeks, like they said. Did they said? "No, no one told me. But it's fine! Y'know what, we can't do much more training today anyway so let's let you go home and come back first thing for day two." Temp agency called me on my way home to tell me she terminated my contract. All because they couldn't pass on a simple message to a woman that was offended that I would DARE to get married.
3 hours. Interviewed for a temp job to cover for a woman going on maternity leave. I told the agency I had to take time off for my wedding next month, they said cool we'll tell them. I told the woman and her manager in the interview, they said cool we'll tell the lead. I get the job, start day one with the supervisor. We get along great, chatting and laughing, talking shop, and she mentions Wimberly, TX. I tell her that's where we're going on our honeymoon. 1/2
This is all I could think of (stolen from the internet)
#2 Wayne's Gun: he finally has a use for that gun rack
Maybe we can get Nic Cage to do it.
Maybe we can get Nic Cage to do it.
Man, he really WILL be in anything. Good for him.
#5 Postcognition: the ability to read someone's thoughts - truly pluck them word for word from their head - but only after they've voiced those thoughts to you.
It's so deeply ingrained that every time I find out it's Ubu, it feels like the first time all over again. It's like misheard lyrics for spoken word phrases.
The boy said "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet and you're gonna regret --" then he was dragged to Hell 'cause it was
"For sale: blue superball, slightly used"
"I threw the match. I've got 300hrs in on this game, you can tell because I unlocked EVERYTHING - levels, characters, skins, everything - and I'm the only one in this building who's ever so much as played this game. But I don't want bragging rights, I want people to play and enjoy, and that was a lot of fun to watch."
And just to prove her point, she played me 1v1 after work and fucking annihilated me. Happy birthday to the ground. It wasn't even close. I think she even lapped me.
We had a Mario Kart tournament at work a million years ago. A good friend brought in her Switch for it, and somehow I wound up beating her in an early round (not bragging, I'd never played anything past the original SNES version). I barely won the tournament (dropping a banana peel on the speed boost in the last lap is a solid strategy).
While she was congratulating me, my friend told me why I'd beaten her: 1/2
#75 Aesop Rock did a great song called Pigeonometry about how pigeons are beautiful creatures that are unfairly maligned. It's great, highly recommended.
Ba-dop-ba-ba-baaaah, it's ed-i-ble
#20 You gotta hold on tight and don't Lego
I thought monk seals were the natural enemy of the crab invasion...
"Wh-what are you doing, step-tank?"
Reminds me of Clustertruck
I think it's that they choose kindness more often than not, loudly and without apology. We all have moments where we call short of our ideals; we just have to make a conscious effort to account for them, to move forward and grow.
If you can choose kindness, even once, you're getting there - and if you've chosen kindness once, you can do it again.
#11 One of my favorite coding tools is the "the...the" statement.
#5
Homie was pointing to where he was gonna sit and think about what he just did
I dunno, have you been to one?
Because it's not that big of a fucking deal. It's a sarcastically large gas station, as though we can't imagine The Splendor of bathrooms emblazoned with a woodchuck's dipshit grin. It's like Walmart in the style of a gas station instead of a sad warehouse that's gently exploding.
If the camera ain't seent it, it ain't been seent.
Peetah Pahkuh heheheheheheheheh
Some of these have close to a rhyme scheme and meter that I very much enjoyed reading
I hope The Hatman visits every one of them next time they go to sleep