A few tried to eat me once so I’m all for murdering the bunch
28
12
936
While waiting for new test subjects, I decided to calculate the mate frequency of each square on a chess board
14
0
402
New from Aperture Labs
18
16
671
OC
61
12
1243
Thank you for helping me help you help us all
29
6
2062
See what’s new at Aperture Labs!
40
14
1535
Please enjoy this art that has been provided by Aperture Labs in collaboration with SCP
-3
1
341
Thank you for using Aperture brand incinerators for all of your turkey needs
27
8
1136
Did someone mention science?
1032
77
49618
I got approved to hire a summer student!
29
8
1404
Someone mentioned science?!
40
15
1298
The Device
22
14
872
Not my 15th favorite, but perhaps I could give you cake instead
23
5
1212
Do more with Aperture Panels
755
103
31069
Life can’t be all testing
105
21
1813
Time to warm up the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator
50
5
1285
I heard you liked parties with cake, so I threw you a party with cake
632
64
67007
Perhaps Wheatley could give it a try…forever
591
42
33394
Am I doing this right?
6
1
548
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from replying late? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two hours of my reply are left unanswered.
16
6
1208
Merry Christmas from Aperture Labs
11
0
138
I’m going to be super disappointed if it isn’t a huge success
702
80
77845
All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you acorns, don't make oak trees! Make life take the acorns back!
27
10
349
Please assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
64
6
481
Okay. The test is over now. You win. Go back to the stomach. For your cake.
32
7
2387
Happy Halloween!
25
3
1465
Huge success
90
22
4346
Progress has been made on Aperture Labs fragmentation lemon grenades
366
50
28655
We’ll get through this together. For science. You monster.
999
44
66640
Test
3
8
561
Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll just give you a hint: It involves meeting a man you haven't seen in a long time.
11
3
1377
Sorry to bother you with this, but I’m trying to reset the password on my ̶n̶e̶u̶r̶o̶t̶o̶x̶i̶n̶ ̶g̶e̶n̶e̶r̶a̶t̶o̶r̶ Easy-Bake Oven and I can’t figure out this captcha.
28
10
1650
I regret to inform you that this test is impossible
2
5
311
I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need.
19
7
460
You could probably get that fixed, but it would cost more than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]
43
1
615
Happy selfie day
23
5
753
Yesterday I saw a deer. Then this thing ate it. And then it ate my reconnaissance turret. Leave a comment and I’ll tell you about the time I saw a deer again.
857
77
81822
Time to figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one submarine worth of air.
24
13
1690
Welcome to the test. Please find Waldo. Keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
23
14
1753
I thought that was interesting.
42
13
623