Ok…you caught me. Get this to the front page and there will be cake for everyone. (This is a Portal parody account. Please refrain from using actual neurotoxin)
Ok…you caught me. Get this to the front page and there will be cake for everyone. (This is a Portal parody account. Please refrain from using actual neurotoxin)
Rivets?
Humans are the real monsters.
Congratulations, you set the bar for ‘human’ somewhere near a deep fried chicken. I’m not necessarily against that.
Sending you hugs and the cake you deserve. Take care of yourself
Your dog’s scale is sending me distress signals. He broke it, didn’t he? The scale must not be calibrated to someone of his... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight. He look great, by the way. Very healthy.
You destroyed a vital testing apparatus! At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity.
Do these eat potatoes? Asking for a friend.
And my test subjects
Hello friend.
I’m not the reason he isn’t having kids
Pixie cut time
While it has been a faithful companion, your thot cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk (and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it may not) it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
That shirt you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.' Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably…oh wait.
It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
That’s a lovely cake. I made a cake once.
This Passage must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum width.
You look great, by the way.. Very healthy.
Be advised that the next music video requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions. For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
I think I’d prefer to stay inside.
Moon rocks are a better investment
This next test involves deadly lasers and how subjects react when trapped in a tank with deadly lasers.
Good bot
So glad to hear it! I’m great as well. Still doing science. Still learning every day.
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 PSI
Hello, friend. I hope you’re well!
That burning you feel? Lemons.