ruffcats
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Part 43: http://imgur.com/gallery/fKupl
Part 45: http://imgur.com/gallery/05BHT
Twitter for updates: https://twitter.com/JacobSpears2
Message me your confessions! PLEASE SUPPORT IMGUR AND I BY PURCHASING A STAY CLASSY IMGUR TEE SHIRT!! http://www.teespring.com/classyimgur
xFireFlyy
I find it funny how 95% of these confessions either contain dick, sex, or shit.
roonic86
I'll dress up like Seto Kaiba and show you my blooming flower if you'll squeeze my poop in a bag Anon.
badwolfbadwolfbadwolf
"I know nobody would date her". You don't know that. let her have a chance to be actually happy. you're not being a hero. /endrant
theoldlickaroo
I was confused about that one for a number of reasons
thatoneguy757
You mean the obvious paradox?
GeeUknit
@kvelociaptor needs to just break up with the GF to give her the chance to find somebody who cares about her. You are not doing her a favour
TallAndPowerful
+1 for obvious British Op
LosPer
She knows. She just doesn't care. That's the point.
CoconutCyclone
Also, depending on living situations and the like, it's just easier to stay together when you don't care either way.
myusualusernamewastaken
TIL that i require far less medication than any of you.
Altairan
When I was a kid, I bragged about my dad's boobs.
xFireFlyy
Wat.
bullshit
Tell us more.
triciabunny
Are people mass-downvoting all these comments just so they can get top comment? How childish can you get?
Candymostdandy
How can you tell when that is happening?
triciabunny
Earlier, when it was first posted, almost every single comment went down to 0 points, then back up to 1, then back to 0.
PunchItChewy
Was wondering the same thing
MoreThanAFeelin
Welcome to user-sub. I think they should make it so you can't downvote a post or comment within a certain amount of time after submitting.
xFireFlyy
No you should still be able to downvote if you come across something that's just absolute shit.
IwishIcouldbethepersonmydogthinksIam
NO!! YOU ARE THE CHILDISH ONE!!!!
luposlipaphobia
I don't know Iif you've been lurking before you signed up (saw that you are relatively new), but this is unfortunately very, very common.
copingcabana
I jaywalked once.
RepublicofTexa
Yes my daily distraction from work has arrived, thank you @ruffcats
ruffcats
didsomeonesayanal
Quickest way to reach you is this: link from 43 to 44 is not working, you're welcome
Athorable
Damn Taco Bell ruining anal sex.
Sifernos
I will do it, I will be your Kaiba!
PMMeTitsForPuns
If'n you're not bi, there's a chance you don't want to do that. There's no indication of gender (tho I don't recall any chicks w/Kaiba)
xFireFlyy
Kinky.
Sifernos
You can tame my White Dragon anytime.
Neofelisnebulosa
i see much glue fetish
bustyblonde
im glad im not the only one who masturbated in one form or another when they were younger...
FemaleINTJ
My first memory of masturbation was when i was 5. It's not really that abnormal.
GetInLoserWereGoingShopping
That's actually very normal.
Hardun
MRW most of these:
xFireFlyy
Wow what
voltron7812
i am assuming you are mainly referring to SBSchutt's.
gmdave
Maybe even JETHROPOWA's.
dishonored2342
i lol'd at "clinical empathy disorder", who told you that you have that? wikipedia?
loneoutlaw
Hey baby, I'll show you my One-Eyed White Dragon.
FlightoftheBumbleBear
Careful now.. You could be running into a trap card.
michaelscottregionalmanagerdundermifflinscranton
the blooming flower... wow, just... wow
[deleted]
[deleted]
michaelscottregionalmanagerdundermifflinscranton
so behind them?
RonFuckinSwanson
What does it mean? How does a dick go inside out?
jesii
its talking about the bunching of foreskin
Veit
"Slight psychopathy" is a made up thing. Certain disorders cause reduced empathy, but "slight psychopathy" is not a real thing.
usulidircotiido
Yes. That one is probably bullshit.
ThisFrickenGuy
@SBSchutt ...let me take you out back. I have something I want to show you.
ICantBelieveThisNameWasFree
Jeff?
mmagikarp
Is it a nickel?
Smayds
Is it a bag of poo?
Candymostdandy
"Look at the flowers @SBSchutt...look at the flowers"
Landalakes
Too soon.
bustyblonde
... are you gonna shoot him?
ThisFrickenGuy
Hush now child. Daddy's going to take good care of him.
TheSara
That sounded a lot more kinky than you probably meant for it to.
wolfshades
Don't worry, kids. @ThisFrickenGuy is just taking him to a farm where he can frolic to his heart's content. He'll be Just Fine.
Xandorgan
and he can play with all the bunnies he wants
brindolyn
...I don't want him to be just fine though...
wolfshades
Shhhh! I don't either. But we have to keep the kids from screaming in horror.
brindolyn
ahhh... ;)
PunchItChewy
you wont get people to do yu-gi-oh fan fiction with you if you remain anonymous
TheRealFedora
"...And here we see the 'stay classy imgur' post in usersub, its native habitat. Soon it will be captured and put on display on frontpage."
LastGuitar
"where it will die slowly in captivity."
xFireFlyy
Oh look @TheRealFedora there's a Hater over here. Can I pet him?
LastGuitar
You can pet me, but you have to feed me. Taking care of hater is big responsibility :D
xFireFlyy
Nevermind, I don't wanna adopt you. :3
TheRealFedora
I think you've misidentified "commentus ambiguitus" with "commentus haterus". But yes. you can pet him.
xFireFlyy
yay-- ow! *gets kicked in the face*
BoredITGuy
Soooo, where are these @callmedarlingdarling pics?
GoshNotMe
http://callmedarlingdarling.tumblr.com/
hashCasher
cumblr
AFormalNerd
Rumblr
RotisserieChicken
I too am curious
Jay4Jay
Tumblr
Tattooedtom
Tumblr
DragonStar
http://callmedarlingdarling.tumblr.com/
imgursmyfirstluv
.
Thejollyro
cucumblr
bullshit
On the shelf in your bathroom, you perv.
Gringochuck
Tumblr
FisterMantastic
Thank me later: http://callmedarlingdarling.tumblr.com/
breakalime
Tumblr
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Bumblr
profp
I love all of you.
voidf1sh
I love all of youblr* FTFY
anticippointment
califrumblerlisticexpialidocious
GoshNotMe
Fumblr
BoredITGuy
faplr, am i right?
GoshNotMe
Sure. If you like.
piefail
Wumblr
callmedarlingdarling
Wumbology. The study of wumbo. It's first grade Spongebob!
FellOffTheJetwayAgain
The Nickelback one is just absurd.
mgmetal13
Agreed, Nickelback one must be fake.
kyjiko
http://imgur.com/fvJbHHA
flamecoloredskies
By far, the most appalling confession yet.
marcusdragomir
While I do *generally* hate Nickelback... their old hard rock songs were pretty damn good.
wolfshades
Yeah, WTF @SBSchutt?
MeanWinchester
bravest confession i've seen on these. but i do share his position
FellOffTheJetwayAgain
monster
WeiYanZhuo
FAKE
perlcat
Yeah, that guy's the only pervert here.
DoingMyKanyeBest
We need to start the Schutt Shaming.
xFireFlyy
What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
Ngoook ngoooook ngoooook ngoooooook! +1
WeAreAllStoriesInTheEnd
*snickers*
venomusmewtwo
I love how people pick on nickelback and not theory of a deadman. The musical style is the exact same
011235813
The general public doesn't know TOAD exists.
snowyandpatch
As a Theory of a Deadman lover, I really hope the internet doesn't corrupt them too....
AgamemnonsMemes
I hear if you listen to Nickleback in reverse you hear a message from Satan, but worse yet if you play it forwards you hear Nickleback
xxabekunxx
Ah, Dave Grohl....
ExplodingTacos
That wasn't dave grohl's actual twitter account that said that.
HogwartsToiletSeat
I like Nickelback, too. I'm not even sorry.
puggless
Nickelback is one of my favourite bands!
bumblebeehedgehogfish
First band I ever got into as a kid. Always gonna have a place in my media player.
Mayaabb
Oh thank God i'm not alone! I love their songs...
Melanisia
David Tennant?
HogwartsToiletSeat
Also a fan.
TkMacintosh
Oh thank god...I was worried that I was the only guy here that did like them.
HogwartsToiletSeat
You may well still be. Not every person on here is male--even those of us named after obscure bits of Harry Potter.
TkMacintosh
Fair point :P I probably should've said that I was worried that I was the only person who liked them
bananasarecool
I knew you were a good person..... we meet again.
HogwartsToiletSeat
Heya!
bananasarecool
Small website after all hahahaha-I'm not funny....
snowyandpatch
I once really casually asked if anyone liked Nickleback, and some guy said, "I hate them because the internet told me to..." Sums it up...
snowyandpatch
*Nickelback
LosPer
Agree...
sniperwave
This is how, we'll remind him.
zarikimbo
Get out.
Lythar
Have a relevant gif!
v
SpoonOfDoom
Genuine question: why is Nickelback hated so much? Even if they're not good, the amount of hate + ridicule they get seems out of proportion.
Nalianna
Totally out of proportion. they should get a LOT more hate, - also - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmK1iMIbi1Q
ollevonfripp
why?
YoureUnberievable
The worst part is their most popular songs are some of the worst I've heard. Not everything they write is bad, but when it rains it pours.
DezTurkish
I don't know, because everyone I knew loved them until like 2009, and then suddenly it seemed to get really unpopular o.O?
ZeroNumerous
Probably because they had one good song, and then they repeated that song. Over, and over, and over again.
DezTurkish
http://www.amazon.com/The-Best-Of-Nickelback-Volume/dp/B00FFERTUK, I'm sorry, but nearly all of these sound completely different to me.
ZeroNumerous
To each their own personal taste, but to me they all have the same six chords, poor vocals, and the same "profound" lyrics. Just not a fan.
ydocnagol
I have the same question and hoped to see an answer in the replies...silly me to trust the internet.
redgreengirl
Theory of a Deadman sounds exactly the same as Nickelback, they even have the same vocal coach, yet TOAD doesn't get ridiculed.
jakslackofaplan
They're like the Umbridge of the music world. They have no redeeming quailities and everyone hates them.
Migotchi
Well, I like them. There's far worse musicians (Bieber). Their concerts are pretty fantastic.
SpoonOfDoom
That's true, but that's also true for lots of other artists. Yet, others don't get nearly as much shit, and I don't understand why.
jakslackofaplan
It's one of those things where you hate them just to hate them. Sometimes its nice just to illogically hate.
SpoonOfDoom
Or, to clarify: I don't want less hate for Nickelback, I want more hate for other shitty bands and singers.
TheCrazy88Horse
The only cure to retrieve lost brain cells from that music is Led Zeppelin IV on repeat.
TheRicM
Some people are super disgusting
BigSecksi
SBSchutt for bravest confession of all!
michaelscottregionalmanagerdundermifflinscranton
can you imagine being that neighbor and finding the poo bag
JETHROPOWA
I'm not sure they have yet
JesserVonJessington
Dinkleberg....http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130728002313/disneycreate/images/d/d9/DINKLEBERG.jpg
OkNowKith
Can you imagine him finding a nickle back fan? The horror!!!
Asharinbosmer
whats worse is having to build a fence because your neighbor is a crazy ass who shits in your yard. my family has a fence now
FuntyCucker
"That little shit bag"
mrgrumbletrousers
Seriously that was the first thing I thought about. "What the fuck do you say when you find that bag...a squished bag"
mahkisupa
I somehow knew this would be the top comment. +1
idrinktea
I think they would probably assume it was from a dog not a human
jamalcolorado
""Oh shit"
heyiorderedacheeseburger
"It's POOP again!"
afistfulofchickens
Ai. I'd probably assume it was a bag of some kind of food that'd been rotting for months and wouldn't inspect it too closely. Or dog shit.
megatrep
i lived next to a dirt road and ppl would throw bags of pets' shit onto it. pretty obvious it was shit and smelled terrible
JaronceOrTwice
i would assume it's dog shit
relevenceisinthemindofthebeholder
can you imagine liking nickelback?
Stoneyranger
When I was 9, I shit in a mason jar and buried it next to my house. I dug it up a year later just to see what it would look like.
PmMeAllYourPersonalProblems
AND??? what did it look like?
Stoneyranger
A whole new wooooooorld!
EnchantedDildo
lmao this made me laugh so hard haha
michaelscottregionalmanagerdundermifflinscranton
I hope this makes stay class imgur 45.
NotLiable4Dmg
"Watch the 'blooming flower' as it unraveled"
DanNeedsLoveToo
I lost on that one, haahhaha had my head down too, from laughing LOL
Ijustwanttowatch
The weirdest thing about this was that he implied it happened on a regular basis.
TotallyPennysBoat
he makes it sound like he did it with his dad often. what. the. fuck.
fandomreference
I think its important to emphasize to young children that while society doesn't want to see genitals, they aren't bad or shameful or dirty.
MrHobbes14
That's a really really hard line to walk. I have a 6yr old girl who is very interested in what she has. I hope I'm getting it right.
thepuppet
I cringed so bad I think my spine fell out.
Candymostdandy
It's old parlour trick from the 20's.
HighwayToTheDangerZone
"Play me off, Johnny!"
TastyButts
Oh god... I am pretty sure parents are supposed to tell their kids that that is private or at least leave the room... :S
MrHobbes14
My daughter, while in the bath, "hid" a toy fish in her crotch and asked her dad to find the fish haha poor dad didn't know what to say. 1/
MrHobbes14
I was there so just told her that wasn't the right thing to do. She was about 2 at the time.
Kestrel21
Maybe the dad liked to see.... 'flowers bloom'.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
This is getting creepy too fast. How about everyone agree to end this discussion now?
Pandapool
Good god, this is like the dialogue from a really bad incest hentai.
feyrband
i feel like 'making flowers' or something along those lines is what they called it in True Detective.
DashingTimelord
"Just look at the flowers"
MyNamesMace
I was laughing so hard
ravenclawesome
I have a feeling this guy's dad is going to bring this up at his wedding.
PazuzuFromThatFuturama
Yeah, "roll it outside-in"? Like, what?
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
shh, we don't talk bout it.
BeardKhan
Uncut penises
PatentedBuffalo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJTntW2PxBY
ImAlwaysContentWithCatContent
i so totally wanna make a picture of a dick cut in slices to illustrate how i imagine the opposite to an uncut penis.
gmdave
Instead of pulling the foreskin back to expose the head, roll it inwards so it accumulates on top. Then let it go back to normal. Flower :)
Thaifortune
Ohhhhh. Hell I still do that. I was thinking of something much more grotesque and confusing.
BonydictCrumplebunch
Whoa easy on the penile trade secrets there bro!
She1993
*shudders* I'm happy my vagina can't do tricks. Except kids. I guess that's sorta different.
VagisilToothpaste
Well...mine can do a few pretty awesome things...so you're missing out and I'm sorry
ICanSeeWhyKidsLoveTheTasteOfCinnamonToastCrunch
Now I'm curious about taking a shit in a plastic bag.
LosPer
Take a dog for a walk. You get to enjoy poop in a plastic bag three times a day...
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
When it's cold outside I enjoy the warmth from it, hehe.
LosPer
Lol, that's a confession in and of itself!!!
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
:D
LosPer
Have a nice weekend, smiling friend. :)
callmedarlingdarling
#8 - Why you anon? Don't be scurred.
ImJacksMedullaOblongata
Commenting to comment
Monochron
Looking awesome, needs more variety though!
imnotagirlbutupvotemeanyways
I wasn't anon. Or at work. But fapping to the pictures did occur.
lceKing
Tumblr*
lceKing
It wasn't me but I'm not ashamed to say that I really enjoyed your fumble :)
aRepost
We all did :)
P4TIENTZ3R0
I'm pretty sure everyone who went to your tumblr has done it already.
tehroar
shouldn't it be -Everyone not Anon? ;)
Bubblesmakemehappy
I must admit I made a tumbr account just to see you. I couldn't figure out a way to without one. I'm a straight (maybe) female. You're 1/2
Bubblesmakemehappy
Pretty hot.
Acornlad
I did it in my just the other night :P
IDontWatchDoctorWho
SHOW ME THESE PICTURES
zippersniffer
FUCK YEAH! CAPS!
TheCanadianNerd
She said on the last ruffcats post it's on her tumblr. Same uname.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SirSpot
http://callmedarlingdarling.tumblr.com/
Redwind007
me too :( i wanna see nekky nekky nakey noo noo ;) ay ay @callmedarlingdarling link us in? we promise to do the nasty ;)
SirSpot
http://callmedarlingdarling.tumblr.com/
BeardKhan
I did at home. Twice.
doomsdaydistillery
haha yup me too
goulaWhat
So I had to see what your Tumblr was. I was expecting fan-fiction and maybe selfies. Found a lot more than I expected.. +1
FastandBiCurious
Link? I'm a girl, just curious tho.
zippersniffer
Commentimg becaise I am also curious.
ThatTallWhiteGuy
Her tumblr name is the same as the imgur one.
SparklingCockWaffle
just google callmedarlingdarling tumblr
demodexinyoeyes
Ahh I can't find it!
lizardly
Yeah I did and nothing showed up..
MafLoic
I saw the post, went to your tumblr 1 minute after you posted the picture. Didn't get to fap though lol.
penguininapolarbearsuit
Im willing to bet the guy that got off to @callmedarlingdarling wasnt the only one.....
QuizmasterBos
I'm willing to bet everyone at anon's job was doing the same, just in different places.
Robvp
I know for a fact that he wasn't the only one
PunchItChewy
I guarantee he wasn't...
SlyF0x
I, too, was a victim of callmedarlingdarling.
callmedarlingdarling
VICTIM?!
everyoneisawesome
We should all have an intervention! ^_^
Magnivore
If they aren't on darling's page then I'm gonna need a link. Please and thank you.
OtterAvalanche
Me too!
RotisserieChicken
Ditto.
ShowMeYourGarden
Oh he wasn't. I scienced out her page too. Also, congrats @callmedarlingdarling on being well endowed
Thinkpoohbearthink
Yes she is. The only reason why I finally created a Tumblr account.
callmedarlingdarling
I feel so special!
TempestChaserZ
Clearly you have a sauce. You should provide it.
bigvox
Yes please do. :)
NachoCheeseFlavoredHamster
I require the source of those images please, to do a copious amount of science.
ShowMeYourGarden
i just posted it to the other replies to me
NachoCheeseFlavoredHamster
You have all my thanks, and the thanks of my people.
ShowMeYourGarden
Just delivering it to you, as it was delivered to me
Frostgreen
High five
callmedarlingdarling
Thinkpoohbearthink
Oh to see the kitty :)
youreabouttogetlittup
scientific research is very important to me thats why i did it
deediegraphitii
more like http://myreactiongifs.com/gifs/youregoddamnrightbreakingbad.gif
penguininapolarbearsuit
lol don't act surprised.....you love it ;)
penguininanelevator
Our user names are oddly similar. If our powers combined we would become a penguin in a polar bear suit in an elevator.
penguininapolarbearsuit
ROFL! That is great! A pleasure to meet you :-D
callmedarlingdarling
I mean I do love it, but I can't believe it's on a different post. :P
Magnivore
I need to see the thing(s) people are referring to regarding you for confessional reasons.
penguininapolarbearsuit
hahaha fair enough, don't expect to be forgotten too quickly :-P
callmedarlingdarling
I realize that now!
MoreThanAFeelin
TIL spicy food make you not be able to...you know...
rexetimperator
It really doesn't make any difference…I've never understood why people associate spicy food with the shits. Haha.
PazuzuFromThatFuturama
John Snow now knows about anal, Ygritte will be made up!
PunchItChewy
http://imgur.com/8xVf4Bh
bustyblonde
too busy letting things out to let them in
MoreThanAFeelin
ISuckedDickForBusFareAndWalked
Can we not say butt play?
xFireFlyy
But... but can't they oral instead?
Erotes
That's what I was going to say, and yes, you probably could. I'd say fuck it and just go for it. Let the chips fall where they may.
iamnotcontent
Only if they brush their teeth first. That is one place I don't want to find out what hot sauce feels like.
rexetimperator
I've experienced it twice ;-(
Lugh314159
Ever get chili/pepper oil in your eye? Like that, but on your dick.
ImAlwaysContentWithCatContent
they could use... you know.. a condom (or wouldn't that help? i don't have any experience with the combination of penis & pepperiness)
iamnotcontent
Now you are thinking with a real 'get 'im done' attitude! I like that, and your name seems somehow familiar too...
ImAlwaysContentWithCatContent
harrr. i like that you're not content. http://img.pandawhale.com/27808-Grumpy-Cat-gif-aphE.gif