amsh101
432935
9674
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Just to make sure I don't leave you too sad, here is a happy quokka tax payment.
The people have spoken: PM your stories and I will post more if I get enough good ones
foreverthekid
The dead butterflies killed my soul a little bit
bluefacepaint
At my brother's funeral someone caught my brother's live-in girlfriend and my sister's then boyfriend having sex in the parking lot.
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
Classy.
JamesWestfallAndDrKennethNoisewater
My dad works part time in a funeral home and he told me a story one time. A bigger guy died and was cremated. The family came by before(1/2)
JamesWestfallAndDrKennethNoisewater
Visitation and he heard them say, "God, how did they get his fat ass in that little jar" as he walked by the room.
cheesus309
My 83-year-old grandfather said as we were leaving his brother's funeral "when you get to my age you wonder if it's actually worth leaving."
Dunes8
First funeral I went to, I was kid and didn't know the person, so I spent part of the time snacking on the After-Dinner mints that they set.
rosewolf28
First funeral I went to, I got locked in the tiny creepy bathroom for half an hour.
mingotheflamingo
friend posted fb photos of the funeral/engagement party she had just attended "well, the whole family was together anyway!"
hannibal1barca
Punch that 14 year old on the duckface
ishigidydigidy
If a kid did something like that at ANY of my family members funerals, I'd shatter the phone.... Not very nice, but there are limits.
MatrixDM
Best friends younger brothers funeral, we had some drunk hobo walk in and start doing prayers, when he was asked to leave he asked why. 1/2
MatrixDM
The pastor was wearing a mic, and told him that he was at a funeral. The guy panicked and screamed into it "WHAT?! BUT I'M NOT DEAD!"
lbsjr
OOO I HAVE ONE! My mother was asked out while my father was in the casket behind her. My grandfather almost killed the bastard.
lbsjr
He even opened up with the line, "So now that you are single..." He was lucky I was handing out candy to the kids.
brossentia
My mom took Little Caesar's pizza to the mortuary for my grandpa's funeral.
catsonmeth
At least get Domino's. Jesus.
wifeaggro
Link to the thread this was all stolen: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2qm3jb/whats_the_most_fucked_up_thing_youve_seen_at_a/
AvsJoe
Thanks for the link. I was wondering what the sources were for these stories.
LaughingOrgasms
Wit? D: boo OP!!!! Give credit where it's due!!!
tfisherchem
Seriously, was it too much to just give a source at the bottom. OP's 2015 resolution should to be less like BuzzFeed.
MikeMilli
Can we make this a thing? We're gonna make this a thing.
GiveMeThatCake
Copying r/askreddit posts?
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
That is already a thing.
RoundThreeFIGHT
At my uncle's funeral, his eldest daughter invited the couple that secretly adopted her child. No even knew she had been pregnant.
lightningirl12
My dad wore a Monty Python t-shirt that said "I'm not dead yet" in his casket. We had to warn my grandma before she showed up.
ChristIHateThisWebsite
Taking a selfie next to a dead relative to get people to tell you you're pretty is a whole new level of attention whoring...
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
My family had a fight at a funeral. drug addicts wanting war medals to sell for cash. My dad was a pallbearer. 1/2
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
2/2 the pastor told him to carry with his right and swing with his left if anything happened....
AsinusAdLyram
Good pastor.
CarwashRoad
I don't mean to offend, if I do, but that's fucking badass of the pastor to say
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
No offence... But yeah... the story is still talked about at family gatherings... there was one point where the casket was spinning
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
I mean no offence taken :)
Corrodias
Shit, like, random druggies or people in the family, trying to grab them out of the coffin or what?
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
the daughter of the deceased. The medals were left to my uncle (nephew of the deceased) and she wanted to sell them for drugs
ArchibaldFooster
PCLR
Stories so dark they created their own event horizons.
HobbitHouse
people grieve in different ways. not all of them make sens.
Rosertnom
Some kinda collapsed in on themselves.
ChaosGodOfPleasureAndExcess
Lawrence Fishburne would be proud.
Leucienweaver
Like the father that's never there.
DaveTheMurderingHippo
It's so dark we don't need eyes to see.
ElectrikPhil
This is the mother of all "______ so dark" comments. +1.
OSCgal
My parents tell really black jokes around funerals. And then there was the time Dad lost his parents...
rumandbass
I was 4 when my grandpa died. They said I found a frog outside and put it in the casket with him so he wouldn't be lonely.
Corrodias
They say that sometimes, on quiet nights, you can still hear the ribbit.
CFBEvilEmpire
The dead butterflies...that's so sad
Borderbot
Sounds like a good band name.
Momof2needsabreak
That one broke my heart. I feel for those parents the most. They wanted to do something beautiful for their baby, but it ended with death.
FuckedSoHardNowImParaplegic
It always ends with death.
derpSlurp
I'm disturbed that someone, in the setting of a funeral for a baby, would find that funny.
Corrodias
I'm disturbed that someone wouldn't. Now we're even, ha!
icephoenix
hilarious*
ProbablyUnpopularOpinion
that's the only one i actually kinda found funny. hope i'm not the only one...
retrohellix
Dude, I'm in a public restroom and had a hard time suppressing my giggling...
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
at least it wasn't a box of red jelly babies
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
You aren't... I shouldn't have laughed, but I did
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
They forgot to read the instructions on how to have an alive child or caring for your butterflies. I am going to hell
UH60Mechanic
Are you kidding, that's hilarious.
WheezingAppleWannaBe
Unfortunately your not ...............i laughed my ass off
flamingflamingo
If it's any consolation I don't think that one is true. I've definitely heard a joke/story like that before.
HellaDonkeys
Plus it switched from friend's aunt to roommate...
ItsLeviOsa24601
I think that actually happens more than people want to admit...
halfpint42
My friend had a similar story but it was about doves at a wedding being kept in rafters in texas in august. Same result, but funnier
neonfraction
I've worked at a bridal show. Trust me, even when they poke air holes in, the survival rate for the butterflies is really low.
tacticalneckshirt
I laughed my ass off, and now I have a new expression for when something terrible happens- "box of dead butterflies"
Anon4
Oh god I can't laugh that loud at 3am!
kosmoosi
I normally don't condone physical violence, but I would have slapped some respect to that teen bitch.
melancholicjeans
I think the appropriateness of that gesture depends on her relationship to her grandmother.
boognish115
If I learned anything from the film "Departures", everyone handles the death of their elderly relatives differently. Humor can help.
thegriffin88
Slapped? I would have snapped her neck.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
She kind of IS showing respect, just in her own way.
kargul
I'll admit to the theoretical possibility she thinks she's showing respect... but she wasn't.
Botatious
I disagree, if her and the grandmother were close and did selfies together a lot, then the kid was grieving and was doing a past time 18
Botatious
Sorry bout the miss types kept dropping my phone
Botatious
1/2* with her grandnother. O
Pearl2001
Smashed her phone, then punched her in the throat. That was some bullshit if ever.
CavitySam
My dumbass sister took pictures of my deceased great grandma in her casket, had them printed, and gave them to my grandma.
moskaudeth
I thought that was sweet in a way albeit incredibly inappropriate lol
LeftCollectionBlueBird
This happened to my mother and I. She met someone, and we later learned he "accidentally," killed his niece. Before anyone knew he did it 1/
LeftCollectionBlueBird
he attended her funeral. (She was three or four.) He took a bunch of pictures, and sent it to everyone in his contacts.
Citragon
watch out, internet tough guy coming through. you're real cool threatening to assault a 14 year old for internet cred
sros92
i would shamelessly SLAP ALL THE RESPECT to that teen bitch.
LittleWolfiee
Makes me so mad. I'm 16 and my granny died a few months ago. I would've given anything to get to have gone to her funeral. I just hope 1/2
LittleWolfiee
I'll be able to work and earn enough money to visit her grave some day soon
PraiseRhllor
I would have smashed her phone to bits
kosmoosi
This too.
[deleted]
[deleted]
thegriffin88
What's with people slapping each other? I would have run him over in the parking lot.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MozartYesIndeed
Pound symbol?
SendMeUrDD214s
As a mobile user, hwat?
[deleted]
[deleted]
catsareamusing
#Ï€ wait why isn't this working
Thatguythatdidthatthingthatonetime
I did once. An aunt died and one nephew on the other side of the fam kept taking pics while the fam cried and comforted each other. 1/2
Thatguythatdidthatthingthatonetime
I got up and smacked him on the back of the head so hard he cried (18 yo), took his phone, and smashed it outside. They thanked me quietly
ashipthatshipsshippingships
Good for you. I completely agree with your course of action. I would have been raging at that.
kosmoosi
Did you have to buy him a new phone?
Thatguythatdidthatthingthatonetime
Fack no!
kosmoosi
Then it was a good da... oh. But you know what I meant.
rath
That juggalo one...
StarmanUltra
I just think it's really sad. Imagine: her son died and all she could cling to was his being a juggalo in his honor. I can respect that.
punkybeanster
I tattooed a hatchet man on a woman as a memorial for her son. Yep.
AvsJoe
My old roommate had that tattoo for that reason. Wonder if it's the same person. Are you in southern Ontario?
punkybeanster
No, but the lady wasn't from my town either. Still I believe she was from Arizona.
punkybeanster
No, but the lady wasn't from my town either. Still I believe she was from Arizona.
getmepicturesofspiderman
I had to look up what a juggalo was...I'm still not 100% sure what it's all about but I don't think it's something I'll ever want to be...
acidjuicemotel
http://vimeo.com/29589320. Watch it. You won't regret it. Well, you probably will a little bit.
Sleepsintrees
I've actually requested in my will for Get Well Soon balloons. I wish I could see it.
kindsoberandfullydressed
This makes me perfectly amused and sad.
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
Dad?
RoseNoot
My will is going to request a stripper dressed as Death. I'm not kidding, but my mother probably wishes I were.
LoremIpsumBaby
Your will likely won’t be read till after the funeral. If you want specific funeral arrangements, plan and pay for them in advance.
spittytrinkles
If she's dressed as Death from Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" by Vertigo Comics, I'll not only attend your funeral, I'll preempt it.
TheAnswerWasAlwaysMoreLube
Pics. of will?
JewishMonk
I'm renting a bouncy house and when my casket is lowered, I want them to blast Enter Sandman. I'm gonna put the FUN in funeral.
TheBootyJuice
http://media.giphy.com/media/mcOP7zqlraM24/giphy.gif
JewishMonk
XD
friesandkittens
F is for fire that burns down the casket, U is for urn burial, N is for never waking up again... wait, what.
JewishMonk
No no. Keep going. I like where this is headed.
DangQuesadilla
So into this!
JewishMonk
I know, right? OPEN BAR at my funeral! Everyone's invited!
DangQuesadilla
Oh man lets be friends! I wanna come to that funeral- (btw this might be the weirdest thing I've ever commented which is saying a lot!)
JewishMonk
Not even joking, my family is chock full of alcoholic Irish Catholics. One of my aunts actually had a funeral with hard liquor served.
1spodaspakers
At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music
misterpipe
JacksonsDaddy
is this in Springtown Texas?
catsonmeth
"Is he gonna be okay?"
Zodi
He's bread, Jim.
epicor
That's Ted, Jim.
IamCarrieMathison
Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a Baker.
Skiafluff
I've told my friends that the first to die, I'm bringing a get well soon balloon to fill at their coffin and tie to their wrist.
ChuckNorrisAteMySock
I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants a funny, interesting funeral.
IveBeenOnHereForHours
My mother said she wants to be celebrated and wants Michael Jackson's Thriller to be played on loop/
RougemageNick
I want someone to help me record "im not dead yet bitchs" for my funeral, just so i can scare the shit out of everyone for a laugh
DigitalBlank
rig your casket with a switch and speaker so that when it's closed it plays something like "i'm not dead yet". people open "k I'm ded now"..
DigitalBlank
..closed again: "OR MAYBE NOT"...keep doing this at your leasure.
ChomskyWouldnt
oooooh that's good. totally gonna throw that in my will
UpvotesForCalicos
My one request is that "Another One Bites the Dust" be played.
johnnytsunami
Ill take pictures for you too see later
friesandkittens
This, and something witty written on my tombstone.
AHornyRhino
I want my family to reenact the entire movie "Weekend at Bernie's" for my funeral.
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
only if you die in a pretty way....you won't look alive if you are missing your head
HesAManiac
Mum made us promise to put a phone in with her and to ring it mid-funeral. I joked that we should record a phone ringing followed by (1/2)
HesAManiac
her voice saying "Hello, Hello?? What's going on, why is it so dark in here?" and set it as the ringtone...to my horror she loved the idea!
ayegill
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20120823.gif
Anonsy
Have the balloons inside the coffin, and have them open the coffin halfway through so the balloons fly out
ian9outof10
I must also do this.
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
Don't they read the will after the funeral?
Sleepsintrees
I've made it verbally know a) delete internet history b) get well balloons c) mix my ashes with my pets... just for shits and giggles
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
Due to drunk friends deciding it is funny they shit in your open casket...and giggle...."The deceased requested it"
Sleepsintrees
I'm one of those that supposed to hit the finish line faster than others so it's openly talked about quite a bit.
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
If I knew the date was within a couple of years I would build a badass coffin..Portable dvd player built in for watching The living dead
samsonguy920
Fake your death.
hencethequeef
My uncle wanted to be laid out in his convertible outside a bar he owned. It was summer, and people were afraid the body would spoil, so>>
hencethequeef
>>they brought him inside and laid him out on the bar. Then people proceeded to drink over him.
Smayds
...hence the queef.
DZRose
You're uncle was Irish, wasn't he?
hencethequeef
...that obvious?
whutserface
Get the fuck out of here. That's got to be like, at least 3 health code violations.
Krose13
Now that's an Irish wake.
amsh101
Ew
SoberAndBored
I tended bar at a wake where they had hired an opera singer. In the middle of his set a drunk chav girl came in from the main pub and 1/2
SoberAndBored
started "singing" "I'm hungry chips and gravy" repeatedly at the top of her voice. We had to throw her and her friends out. 2/3
SoberAndBored
They resisted and the police had to be called. The family were severely distraught by this.
swankierprawn
That image is fantastic
thegriffin88
What's a chav? It sounds like a food.
OtterwingProbinator
the kind of person that says: "u wot m8?" and stuff like that
SpearmintJun
a person of ill wealth and repute I believe.
AmokRun
Oh wow. I worked at a cemeteyt for years so I have some stories.
swegcity
I'd up vote that.
buttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbuttsbutts
Wanna share 'em?
RetrieveThatGold
AMA TIME
AmokRun
If enough people show interest I'll do an AMA
AmokRun
Okay. I'll do a post sometime tomorrow and post it here.
CanadiansWilllRule
Just do a post with a bunch of stories
theDogWhisper
moar stories!
FriendlySkynet
AMA, AMA, AMA, AMA, AMA
theispitar
Why bother with an AMA? All the questions will be "Can you tell me another story?"
swegcity
I'd up vote that.
swegcity
I'd up vote that.
someguynamedted
I enjoyed the one about smacking the son so hard Grandma broke her hand. Fucker deserved it.
WARHAMMER405
She should have had the rest of the family take turns kicking his ass after pulling the stunts he pulled.
TrollicusDraconius
No shit. Scum of the earth that one.
StopStaringAtMyUserNameItsVeryShy
I don't know if it's appropriate, but that Grandma is a bad-ass.
dangerousDoc
It is pure catharsis
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
Since when did funeral direstors take instructions off some random person without confirming with who is paying the bill?
MetalJesus
He may have produced proof that he was the deceased's son. -shrug-
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
Still not the one signing the cheque.
OrangeCarrot
A little off-topic but related to #8 - My sister-in-law lost her mother on her birthday and now she only celebrates her bday 2/3 weeks later
FullThrottle
Passing round the dead baby is all kinds of fucked up...
EverybodyExpectsTheSpanishInquisition
Everyone gets a lick
Momof2needsabreak
Its so sad, but slightly understandable in the pain and wanting to hold the baby one last time.
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
*highly understandable
AsinusAdLyram
My cousin had stillborn twins, they put pictures of the dead babies on their Christmas card.
BearAttack
Oh wow. That's heartbreaking.
AsinusAdLyram
I felt bad about it, but less so when I overheard her say "You know I really thought that we'd get more attention by doing that".
litterboxjen
jfc
AsinusAdLyram
Essentially my reaction.
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
holy. shit. now that is messed up!
AsinusAdLyram
Yeah, that was one of those moments where I thought "can
shootxthexmessenger
They encourage moms to hold stillborns to help with the whole letting go process. Maybe that's what they were thinking? I'd decline.
goingcrazy
Friend in mortuary services had to stop for a year after monitoring a baby funeral like this. She has now dealt with crazier things.
ffvet
Im in EMS and alot of times with deceased children we let the parents hold the child, dress it, and say goodbye as a coping mechanism.
Improbabilitydrive42
A woman my husband knew had their stillborn's name on the answering service when the family was called. From what I heard she wanted 1/2
Improbabilitydrive42
people to address him/her. 2/2
sassymonster
As someone who lost a baby during birth, It's a lot different hearing about stuff like this and then living through it. In the hospital ->
sassymonster
room when the family was there, I made sure everyone got a chance to hold my son because it was the only time they would ever be able to ->
sassymonster
say hello or goodbye to him. It was their only chance to see him, ever. So yes, it sounds creepy but it's one of those things that ->
sassymonster
can actually help the family greve. The loss of an infant is so much worse than any other loss, because their entire life, whoever they ->
sassymonster
may have been, the hopes from the family is just gone. Even though they may have been just born, they still lived for the pregnancy.
coldclarity
EMT here. Course said it is normal for parents to want to hold a dead child - part of grieving. Passing it around - (1/2)
coldclarity
(2/2) they must have thought everyone else was grieving too.
annibe11e
I'm kind of ok with it.
UH60Mechanic
Dude, the dead baby stuff is crazy. I saw screenshots of a lady who kept her stillborn and was knitting its little mummified body clothes.
squirrelgirl86
I laser engrave urns. I've etched dead baby photos you wouldn't even believe. Just knowing they're on someone's mantel somewhere...
UH60Mechanic
The urns I understand, just like special caskets, etc. Those are things for the dead. Doll clothes, not so much...
UH60Mechanic
Like, I get that people grieve in their own ways, but that's some American Horror Story III Spalding-style shit.
stutteringbob
Have you lost a child? I've seen it break people. Some people just can't make it back. It's just that sad.
UH60Mechanic
And to your very personal question that you were using to make a point, yeah. I have. And yet.
fundipsundrip
and postpartum depression can make people do some fucked up shit they wouldn't do otherwise.
UH60Mechanic
And I've seen losing spouses, parents, etc break people. But they didn't mummify them and post photos on facebook.
Corrodias
Well, it's so big, where would you keep it? :V
[deleted]
[deleted]
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
NSFW that please...
LearnedCoward
"What is that?" "My daughter"
UH60Mechanic
OH MY GOD THAT IS THE EXACT POST I WAS THINKING OF
vielleicht
in some cultures it is part of the ceremony to hug and touch the body of the deseased person
rumandbass
which is why the ebola breakout happened
iwillalwaysupvotecanada
any examples?
orp0piru
Make a guess how Ebola spread like wildfire.
kittymack
I believe traditional Maori funerals involve not leaving the deceased alone for the days up to the funeral.
Toasterpops
It was even part of ours, the wake for example. Many tribes in South America and Asia would consume the body of loved ones.
EddieDeanofNewYork
thats probably the most tasteless thing I've ever heard, actually
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
I honestly don't know what to call normal with a little ones death.
MundaneFacts
I know that I've never gone through it personally, but if it's younger than a year, it doesn't have a personality, not too much to grieve
quitethecontrary
What you're grieving for is the loss of his or her future, and the bond you shared and would have continued sharing with them.
CanadiansWilllRule
This view will change once you spend any significant length of time with a baby of that age range.
MundaneFacts
i have(not a lot), i'm not a big fan. and they seem to be mostly driven by instincts and temperment rather than true developed personality.
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
I disagree. I have three kids and a month in they had personality.
Kmank95
i agree. my nephew is only 6 months but has so much personality and sass for a baby.
kleelu
My son had personality in the womb. He liked to do baby karate. When he came out, it was crazy to watch him do what he did inside my belly
litterboxjen
this. My daughter had personality at four weeks, my son around six weeks.
DisgruntledFerret
Regardless of whether or not that's true, that's a dang cold thing to say, bro.
MundaneFacts
not if you're talking about theoretical children... maybe it still is, but i tend to be rather practical.
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
My niece died at birth, it wasn't fucked up to hold her body. It was tragic and sad. Now, she wasn't passed around at the funeral, but 1/2
FartedWhileMakingUpName
I thought it was kind of weird until this Christmas. My sister was due Jan. 12 and her son's heart stopped unexpectedly. They were asked to-
FartedWhileMakingUpName
make decisions about his body within hours of arriving at the hospital. They decided to induce and did get pictures with him and some other-
FartedWhileMakingUpName
family. It happened without warning on the eve of his birth. I can completely understand wanting to see and hold him, living or not.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
He looked completely normal. The pictures are really hard to look at though...
tydence
The dead really aren't all that scary and horrible. Same person, just not alive.
[deleted]
[deleted]
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
To me it seems most people at that funeral wanted to hold the baby, not forced. I held my niece a few days after she died. 1/2
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
Funeral homes keep the bodies cold, so there isn't much decomposition (I'm sure one wouldn't notice it). I know it's not for everyone. 2/2
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
family went to the funeral home and held her before the funeral. Everyone needs to grieve in their own ways. 2/2
JudyMartinez
Sometimes this is their only interaction with the baby. When an adult dies, you have had hugs & memories. When a babies dies, it's different
MundaneFacts
I've never gone through this, but the weirdest thing it's that nobody knows anything about the newborn. There's nothing to miss about them
DoNotKnowJack
They are grieving the expectation that there was going to be another member of the family.
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
I've had 2 of my 5 pregnancies survive past 6 weeks. Fetuses have personalities, you love them. You can have relationships with your fetus->
iwearabunnysuitthecleanroomkindnottheplayboykind
And having a baby die, all the possibilities for their life die with them. And you don't have many memories to sustain you through the loss.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Tell that to the family and mother who spent 9 months waiting and expecting.
MundaneFacts
that would be rude
Iwasoutedbyatroll
My mother-in-law placed an empty chair next to the casket. When asked why she said "Dad requested before he died that I put out an empty 1/2
Iwasoutedbyatroll
an empty chair : for rigamortis to set in." After death he made the mother of all Dad jokes, he is still my hero.
NotRodB
LMFAO!
1Rogue
"mother of all dad jokes" my god it's spreading
HaniiPuppy
"Mother of all dad jokes" ... you mean Granny?
1Rogue
My own implication was that the mother was carrying out the dad joke
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
Ha. Had to get the last dad joke in.
CassandraMarie
My mom was adopted. Her adoptive father (my grandfather) died suddenly. Her biological sister decided that my grandfather's funeral 1?
Iwasoutedbyatroll
and?
CassandraMarie
was the most appropriate place to meet her sister for the first time. I have never been more angry.
Lasaagna
I don't get it; can someone explain?
sphygmomanometer
I'm going along the lines of Rigor Mortis being a person and he would need a chair to set himself
pretendertotheironthrone
Set=sit
vidiv
Rigor mortis is death-stiffness. A state where the body becomes rigid and hard to move. It sets in after a while.
sigmaecho
I think everyone here has gone insane, 'Rigor' is not a name, so the joke doesn't work in the slightest.
NotSoSmartAlek
It could be.
LearnedCoward
Also, sit and set sound nothing alike, unless you're from the southern US.
RedKnight1991
Rigor Mortis.
LearnedCoward
Right. Riga mortis must be what they call it in Latvia.
8bitTunes
Rick or Morty lol
EddieDeanofNewYork
still a solid dad joke tho
HamJuice
as solid as rigor mortis.
wambu
My wife's Uncle Joe was an asshat. People shared stories about him being an asshat at his funeral; it was hilarious. I'm sorry I missed it.
WhoYouGonnaCallGhostNappa
I think asshat is my favorite word
lunaisbestprincess
I really think I would rather have people laughing and telling jokes at my funeral than being somber.
Winterous
There is absolutely no reason to respect the dead, tell people who they were, what they did; it's disrespectful to lie about it.
iamagrocerybag
..his death, but I got horrendous amounts of abuse when it emerged that I had filed a police report days before he died. It was 2
wambu
Well said.
thenonworkinglight
Found the Speaker for the Dead
iamagrocerybag
apparently "disrespectful to his family". I seethe when I see the tributes on Fb. My daughter's dad was dating his ex, & he wanted revenge 3
iamagrocerybag
I should clarify that this kid "Joe" was angry that (his ex) "Kate" starting dating (my ex) "Ben". "Joe" threatened "Ben"'s daughter (2yo).
Winterous
That's quite a sentence to get your head around...
iamagrocerybag
Yeah, sorry, was trying to get it inside character limit. He wanted to hurt MY ex for dating HIS ex and so threatened our baby.
Winterous
Perfectly logical.
iamagrocerybag
A kid from the town I used to live in died outside a school after inhaling aerosols; he had threatened to kill my daughter shortly before 1
Winterous
Classic people. Disrespectful to the dead to have done something while they were alive. Hurr durr.
iamagrocerybag
Ikr. In the end I just let it go, his friends and family began to threaten me. I didn't say anything about it after he died but just word 1
iamagrocerybag
..that I had gone to the police caused so much trouble. I had no interest in causing a scene, but I was genuinely scared for our safety. 2