FromTheCreatorsOfDer
400920
10721
387
Jul 19, 2015 12:25 AM
FromTheCreatorsOfDer
400920
10721
387
procrastinatingfromreallife
The Paul Dano one was fucking hilarious.
Lueisanartist
It really is! And he's sooper sexy so I don't see the problem.
alticaarden
ive only ever seen him in 12 years a slave... i dunno if id wanna be dating that
Lueisanartist
Watch Little Miss Sunshine. It will change your mind. Or maybe I'm just into the wierdys. Yeah, that's probably it.
alticaarden
oh wait i have seen that, is that really him? hes so little!
Lueisanartist
Strange, huh?
inagoddadavida
She had an irrational hatred of license plates that spelled out BED.
JudgeJudyandExecutioner
Sorry, dragon pants are a BAD thing?
Shmewkey
Idonothingwrong
I want some dragon pants. Where would one find dragon pants? I would also totally date someone with dragon pants.
TheLittleBoat
I would murder so many people for a pair of dragon pants.
NachosFlandersStyle
Stopped reading because my husband says "Burber King" and I got sad.
KaleidoscopeMindset
My husband calls deaf people "death people". I correct him every single time. Nothing changes
Idsertian
Tell your hubby to enunciate his goddamn words. Unless, you know, he's got a speech impediment or something.
CaptainPirate8
Proof that it's easier to have the conversation of dumping someone than to talk to them about annoyances.
AuBoss
No. It is just easier to end it than expect someone to change something about themselves.
Zzzinthevalley
Nah, if little things are a deal breaker you likely don't dig the person enough and don't find it worth discussing, tip of the iceberg.
dlh2079
Some of these are big things to a lot of people, now most are petty but some are serious. Chewing especially, could date a loud chewer
Zzzinthevalley
The mustard one especially...that is just being an animal and very weird
Janelle563
This is why so many people are alone. Watch Dan Savage's "price of admission" advice on YouTube.
CaptainPirate8
Commenting so I remember to come back and watch this
Janelle563
http://youtu.be/r1tCAXVsClw
preencess
I've got a good one: He said he wanted to be a marine biologist, but he didn't really want to join the Marines
MundaneFacts
Well.. The U.S. Coast Guard has a marine science technician, but I doubt he knew that
LickyLoo
That made me laugh like a fool! I need to go to bed, hagaha!
ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP
What about when asked about her past frivolities responding with "I'm on the straightened arrow"
MrsGarrison
I feel like half of these were stolen from Seinfeld episodes.
licensetoillite
And the toe one is from Shallow Hal, but Jason Alexander is the one who says it
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
I know! One was definitely an episode, the peas.
IWasInThePool
She had man hands.
mariomario42
"That wasn't a twist off..."
IAMGR00T
I understood that reference.
krazy3006
LANA
danatron1
really? toe length? they don't even have any control over that! Why are minor bodily differences even an issue?
dearmissally
I'm the opposite, I have really short toes! I can make them dance, though.
[deleted]
[deleted]
WishingICouldPutAnApostropheInMyUsername
NO. You're not allowed to decide who you're attracted to. Once somebody claims you, you are their love slave. Deal with it.
MultipleDads
ONE of my second toes is longer than my big toe, the other is shorter. WTF IS THAT? And they're bent at the last knuckle. Dank Memes..
Howfuckinghardisittofindanorginalusernameinthisbitch
Ever since shallow Hal I've been unnecessarily self-conscious of my feet.
corrosivefemale
I know that feel
FXTPD
It's called a royal toe, bow down bitches... Royalty is about!
Leann769
I'm good with that! :)
Salpinus
My first GF had a short thumb on her left hand. I would always hold hands with the right and always stay on her right side. Creeped me out!
SlurmsMcKenzie
A lot of people's middle toes are longer than their big toe.
yeekee
I thought toe length was an indicator of whether or not someone is a werewolf
atrevelyan
my wife's second toes are longer than the big toe. It's really a non issue.
squirrelgirl86
yeah some of these are signs of really deep character defects but toe length is not one of them in any way.
eromitlab
Sounds like a Seinfeld episode or something. She was a low talker! She had man hands!
licensetoillite
I know it from Shallow Hal and Jason Alexander is the one who says it
takeacatnap
The pea one actually is from a Seinfeld episode.
shwibbityshwat
Low talker is a totally legitimate reason :)
JoshJohnson89
It's gross and your other half should be perfect. If not hit the road jack, I'll date your sister ;)
YoloSwagginsAndTheKnightsOfTheRoundTable
I don't believe half of these.. and fuck that person! My toes are beautiful!
HansVermhat
I can't date a girl with short or stubby fingers.
Zzzinthevalley
Yeah the creepy long middle toe would do it for me if it was just casual...just find it kind of gross like rat toes
AuntieMeat
The motherfucking STATUE OF LIBERTY has the same longer second toe. Folks just can't handle how awesome we Royal Toe people are, I guess.
danatron1
TIL
astrocouldyounaut
I have that. It's very weird when people comment on my long toes. Stop looking at my feet weirdo
LikeTotallyNotTheNSA
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjIwOTY5NDgzNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjE3NjQxMw@@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg
mashdots
exCUSE ME! My Eyes are up here!
Hippoplatymoose
Shush, Monkeytoes!
OtakuOtter
But really, how often do you look at a man's shoes?
astrocouldyounaut
I love shoes. Hate the feet within them.
OtakuOtter
I hate shoes. I'm always barefoot or in flops outside of work.
TaintedGENE
stop pointing at them then
Imthekraken
I have it too! It's not crazily bigger... I had an ex that used to call me freak feet :(
TheMagicalBun
Wow. That's a mean thing to say
Leann769
My middle toe is like that! :)
Jarlan
My middle toe like that too. My sister always calls it my mushroom toe.
washismycopilot
Second toe, surely. My second toe is like that. It's common.
sorple
I think I've only seen the second toe be longer than the first, not the middle toe.
FXTPD
Yea I'm pretty sure mines slightly bigger, Middle toe that is, its either slightly smaller, the same size or slightly bigger. So yea. Hmm
Leann769
The second toe is what I meant. :)
sorple
Ah, cool beans :) I just had to ask because people have all sorts of bodies, so I got curious.
alticaarden
He slept on the floor in his mums room
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
awww that-s sad tho
alticaarden
He had his own bedroom... But I think that's worse
ITalkAboutGoats
child abuse, maybe?
pantsatatimelikethis
What very odd
shesaidgoodbyetotheground
I turned a guy down for a date and found out later that he doesn't have a bed, he just sleep on a pile of blankets on the floor
alticaarden
was he poor or just...unaware (i guess thats the word im looking for?)
shesaidgoodbyetotheground
He had a really good job... I think he was just... That kind of person. (Also struggling to find the right word for it)
alticaarden
the kind of person that doesn't realise beds are a necessity? unless he had some kind of other underlying issue... Did he have nice stuff?
Wildehiphopopotamus
If you put your finger in my mouth while I'm yawning I will try to bite you as hard as I can
changingmynamerealquick
I do it to my kitty. It's funny.
Shovi
I like to do that to my cat when she's yawning, i'm evil, i know. But i would never do it to a person.
ICantBelieveIGotOutOfBedForThis
An acceptable risk for teaching it's rude to yawn without covering your mouth D:
Foxhart
I'm always appalled how many people don't cover or don't know it's rude.
nossan
That was my first thought, who doesn't cover their mouths when they yawn? Thats just gross, do they not cover their nose when they sneeze?
someswedishgirl
No it's not
ishouldbedrawing
My wife does this to me and I assure you it has nothing to do with manners. She just think's its hilarious.
ICantBelieveIGotOutOfBedForThis
Fringe benefit!
KlokateerGoAt
I broke up with a girl who cried like a baby at a bar because they were out of potato wedges and they gave her regular fries instead.
avidatheist
How drunk was she?
cinnaMeal
30 drunk
mandeliondarling
So many drunk.
KlokateerGoAt
A beer or two at most.
Luvvie
To be fair, as a lightweight, two beers is my limit... It's entirely possible I would've cried too.
TheFirstHistoryMan
Not that it excuses the behavior, but she was probably PMSing.
AceofShades
and "bar" so she was possibly hammered too. I've cried over stupider things. Like my ex.
KelseyJay
I broke down in tears when I found out we were out of muffins at my house. Its pretty strong stuff.
avidatheist
It kinda does... Hormones are a bitch.
theIdris
I've cried over numerous food items while PMSing.
MichaelSulerud
PMSing makes it ok to cry over French fries? No. No, that's stupid.
soapghost
Ask a doctor for female hormone shot/pills and report back what stupid shit made you cry. For science. Genuinely curious. Thank you.
coincidenceithinknot
One time I cried like a child while driving cuz the trees were so pretty.
officerjt
PMDD is a motherfucker. I've been trying different stuff for a few months to try to help with the symptoms before I try antidepressants. :(
BenderBendingRodriguez
jesus christ how does someone make it to physical maturity with that kind of behavior
sonicpet
Crying has probably always helped to get what they want... Remember to not give in for that as a parent.
thewildplum
Money? Boobs?
XedemiSomnia
Always crying is definitely a no-no, but occasionally breaking down due to a mix of terrible events and expecting a creature comfort that1/?
XedemiSomnia
2/2 isn't there can just be the final nails in a coffin of an emotional breakdown. Different things, but it seemed relevant to say.
Definitelynotsteve
I was about to post this. I have anxiety and I once broke down over a jar of mustard. I couldn't figure out if it went in the fridge so 1/2
Definitelynotsteve
I spent half an hour rocking back and forth crying about it instead of trying to solve the problem. Crazy shit happens sometimes. 2/2
theblackvest
Once when i was pmsing i cried cause my boyfriend suggested we watch a jackie chan movie. To this day i have no idea why. Was she pmsing?
ThereAreOtherWorldsThanThese
This was my first thought as well. I've broken down over fucking AT&T commercials while on my period. Hormones are a bitch. >_>
fofalooza
Dude, I had a big fight with my gf when I told her I didn't want cream cheese on my bagel. She got her period later that day. Just saying...
SeriousCloud
http://imgur.com/jQL6Ca8
yuyufan43
You know, it's illegal to date 8 year olds.
JTRGotYou
Reminds me of my sister lol
raychello
That's ridiculous
Bladedrummer
If she was super wasted or stoned, maybe. MAYBE.
kageboshi
It's all about the little things you ignore at first, and like termites, slowly eat away at the load-bearing structure of the relationship
HYDROFRACKER
Are you a poet?
kageboshi
I try to be a writer sometimes, but poetry is not a close friend.
Assbandit
Puppy love glazes over those. I believe it takes about a year or more of living together to truly find whether you're compatible with them.
Dalylah
Life advice from Assbandit. I chuckled. Also, I agree :)
Assbandit
;)
WeiYanZhuo
My ex said "supposably" I didn't break up with her though, she broke up with me when "Jesus" told her to.
girlgonecountry
This was a #1 requirement when dating. "Supposably", is like nails on a chalkboard for me... Even my auto-correct knows it's wrong!!
CunningStuntBonus
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9a/09/89/9a0989d65df6acb711dae7a755aa1593.jpg
totilasgrandeur
One of my best friends does this, who is a university instructor with a graduate degree, and it drives me crazy.
littlespacebased
My little sister still says "libary" and she is 26 years old. Drives me nuts.
NedwardStark
Bullet dodged
SmashingChap
Supposably is a valid adverb and has been in use for more than a century. It's ugly but it is a word by any reasonable definition.
girlgonecountry
Unfortunately, people usually use it improperly and from context clues it could be inferred they meant "supposedly".
SmashingChap
'Supposedly' is also an adverb that means ostensibly the same thing, so saying 'supposably' instead isn't wrong, its just unintentional.
WeiYanZhuo
If you're talking about something you heard word of mouth for example, it should be "supposedly"
WeiYanZhuo
http://www.grammarly.com/blog/2014/supposably-is-a-word-but-theres-a-99-chance-you-dont-know-how-to-use-it/ She used it incorrectly.
SmashingChap
No. No no no. These stupid lists always say things like 'decimate means reduce by 1/10th' when that's not how semantics workds
SmashingChap
These lists also like to say un/doubtably aren't words when they fuckin are.
SmashingChap
*works
WeiYanZhuo
Supposedly denotes skepticism or lack of commitment. Supposably suggests mere possibility.
SmashingChap
"ostensibly"
TheBluePowerRanger
That one about the mustard though... She needs to be put down.
Soufriere
Seriously. Who the fuck does that past the age of two??
ciaobella22
lol!
killerklixx
I can't imagine a scenario where someone allowed this to become habit. I blame the parents!
wildgreenyonder
Yeah how does that even come about?? It's not even more efficient. Mustard hand spreading freak.
ssmud1
Mustard hand spreading freak will be the next insult I call someone. +1
raychello
I don't get how that would even get mustard on them evenly. She sounds like a fucking beast!
Nabashin
I KNOW RIGHT? What the actual fuck?
FluffyBuzzyIsFluffy
Seriously, that's disgusting.
JustSayingYouHaventSeenMeAndBatmanInTheSameRoomBefore
I laugh-cringed at this one, ewwwwwwwww
girlgonecountry
"needs to be put down" is going to be my new go-to solution for people who annoy/frustrate me!! LOL! I love it!
TheBluePowerRanger
Worked out great for Hitler!
ChloroformCosbySweater
I had a huge crush on a girl my freshmen year until she squirted ketchup on all of her fingers and licked the globs off one by one. Nope.
hugjob
I can't imagine. maybe they met online and then met up at a convention? who puts mustard on their fries??
wormsinmahspice
Animals that need to be put down. Ketchup is the only condiment for fries
ITalkAboutGoats
unless you're from canada. They are allowed mayo, but only grudgingly, and you must glare at them while handing it over.
QueenoftheRats
Canadian here...fuck mayo, ketchup IS the only condiment for fries. I do know a Mexican who only uses mustard though. It's gross.
wormsinmahspice
You sir just gave me my first legitimate reason to hate Canada, thank you
ITalkAboutGoats
I'm from minnesota. The Canadian nice thing is way, way, way overblown.
gazxog42
Send me mustard girl, would not bother me, mustard rocks on fries
Admonkeytstrator
Perhaps it was a euphemism?
neonknight65
I'm getting a burger and fries and she says, "I'll just have a burger and we can share your fries." GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR! NOW!!!
LostInSpates
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Soufriere
What is this… "share"… of which you speak?
ITalkAboutGoats
but usually getting a large is much cheaper than buying two single servings...
AuBoss
Men get a large...for themselves.
ITalkAboutGoats
Then an extra large. If you're dining in it's easier to order more if you're still hungry than to waste a whole order.
fourstrokes
I broke up with a girl because she thought she had leukemia because her hair would fall out when she combed it.
MrHarryBallzac
Wow. That's the dumbest shit I've read in a while.
ImInTheMiddleOfSomeCalibrations
I broke up with a guy who refused to stop calling me Tennifer (Jennifer and he said I was a ten). There were more issues but that ended it.
AnythingIsBraveIfYoureDildoEnough
You did the right thing.
MrHarryBallzac
Why? Arent you a ten? ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴
GirlX
That's so awkward
ImInTheMiddleOfSomeCalibrations
Dude, when I broke it off he even sent me flowers "To Tennifer". He was a moron to say the least...
GirlX
eek. Cringe-worthy
Bladedrummer
Dat user name tho. =)
mistersteel
She hated Boromir. No passing hatred either, it was pure loathing of my favorite character.
ConfirmedBachelor
That's such a Boramir thing to say.
SenatorWiggles
the comment I was looking for
siler7
He said Boromir was his favorite character.
ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP
imho, the ring played on Boromir's desire to do good and help his war-ravaged ppl... not playing on his greed like the movie made it out.
siler7
Some of both. He was prideful, haughty, and not overly wise. He would have taken the ring earlier if he'd thought he could get away with it.
siler7
Faramir is my favorite character in all of literature, mainly for all the ways in which he is unlike Boromir.
QueenOfSparta
Whaaaat. That'd be a problem for me too tbh. Boromir gets so much shit but I love him.
CoconutCyclone
Movie Boromir or book Boromir? The movies kinda downplayed his life and the fact that he rejected the ring. Then they shit all over Faromir.
mistersteel
Didn't matter, she loved the books too, so she was well acquainted with his subtleties.
CoconutCyclone
You did the right thing.
shoe571
Faramir* Mr. President.
Aewass
Farawayfrommir*
ErwinSchrodingersCat
When the fuck did boromir rejected the ring? He tried to take it from frodo in the books at somepoint
CoconutCyclone
He did take it. But then he gave it back and sent Frodo away. He rejected the power while he was 100% influenced by it.
sonicpet
Nope, He TRIED to take it. Boromir never had the ring. When he tried to take the ring, Frodo slipped it on his finger and escaped.
ErwinSchrodingersCat
In the books? or in the movie? because I can't find it in both.
CoconutCyclone
Neither. I was remembering it very incorrectly. I'm completely stupid at times and that was one of them.
sonicpet
He didn't reject the ring. Frodo escaped, and Boromir regretted his attempt at taking the ring.
123Hibbleton
Thank you for saying that, although he was an awesome character in the book and that did show how powerful the ring was in the hearts of men
123Hibbleton
And how strong Arogorn was for rejecting the ring
sonicpet
Yes. I think many people get influenced by the films these days. I read LOTR at least three times before I saw the films :)
sonicpet
I've understood that this was Tolkien's way of showing how much power there was in the One ring, how it could influence people to evil deeds
Nepeta33
except the entire reason boromir went to rivendel was to take the ring. he had no intention of ever destroying it. not much to influence..
sonicpet
Sure, that's the use he thought made most sense for the ring. Yet he would not want to hurt his allies and members of the fellowship.
serella
Uh, no. Boromir went to Rivendell to seek guidance about the prophetic dream he and Faramir both had. The second line tells him to go 1/
idownvoteplottwist
It was coincidence that he (and everyone else but Frodo & Co.) ended up there.
SmashingChap
I don't know all the ghostbusters names.
ThisIsGod
That explains why nobody loves you.
kageboshi
Tell him about the Twinkie.
bobothemonkey115
Welp, at least now you know you're destined to die alone! I'll join you. We can share some loneliness cookies as consolation
AwesomeGuy847
Egon Spengler, Peter Venkman, Raymond "Ray" Stantz and Ernie Hudson
frankwalkerfromnationaltiiiiiiiiiiles
you're dumped
CoconutCyclone
Egon, Bill Murray, other Belushi, black guy. You're welcome.
WhatsAHoya
Dan Aykroyd as "other Belushi"? come on, man, that's bush league!
plainoldfool
Come on... That was funny
CoconutCyclone
I always confuse him and the surviving brother. Mostly because of Blue's Brothers. But it's inexcusable.
WhatsAHoya
At least you acknowledge your egregious mistake. Say 5 "Hail Dickbutt"s and 5 "Our Javert"s and you will be forgiven.
Malcondrion
Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), and Winston Zedemore (Ernie Hudson).
Stuebydoo
WIIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSTTTTTOONNN....
BustinMakesMeFeelGood420
Excuse me but thats DR. Peter Venkman
ninjagaidensigma
Malcondrion
Nah, just one of my favorite movies+cartoons growing up :)
siler7
We're through.
SmashingChap
plz no
licensetoillite
I don't like ghostbusters...
q00u
Venkman, Egon, Ray... uh... hrm. I was *just* talking about Ernie Hudson, but can't remember his chars name. Wait, does this make me racist?
priestsaresotouchy
yep. it does.
JeaPi
Yeah... You have to go. NOW!
someswedishgirl
I want to say Sp/a/e/ngler was one.
Deadpo0l
Egon... it was Egon
LateNightBunnyParty
I CAST THEE OUT! I still watch these movies about 5 times a year. Love em.
coverterm
Troglodyte.
SmashingChap
Living in caves or underground can be a very economical alternative to above-ground living.
UnspokenX
Someone out there is going "No wonder you're single."
bewarethemilk
Does anybody?
ChuckZombie
When I was a kid, we had two cats and two dogs and we named them after The Ghostbusters. Egon was a mean little shit.
MykillMetal
Since I was 5...
tragluk
Peter, Egon, Ray, Winston, Louis.
CorvusBelli
More specifically Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore and Lewis Tully (also Janine Melnitz).
Hugrold
you're forgetting Janine
tragluk
Janine never put on the uniform, never put on the pack. She was the Secretary, not a Ghostbuster.
Hugrold
she was as much part of the team as Tully.
sillypuppers
Some of these are not legit, but the dude keeping his underwear on during sex..... that's weird af, what's hiding in there???
Purkkaleiri
Probably visable signs of an STD.
[deleted]
[deleted]
DOWNVOTECHERRY
try to keep your pants on during that too, see if he feels you by doing so.
travelswithchinaski
he's a never-nude
NoCanDosvilleBabydoll
guess he didnt have a very good childhood.
pacey5714
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
captainbitchtits
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/dozens_of_us_arrested_development.gif
DammitWhoTookAllTheUsernames
I never noticed be had something in his hand haha. What is it, a corndog?
DrMcSteamy
captainbitchtits
It's 6am here, and I spent all night taking my friend to the hospital. I feel like I kinda deserve to steal your line just this once.
karuhh
Probably herpes
ExodusDei
A deodorant clump.
TheCatPepe
Ew.
sonicpet
I'm guessing he's extremely prude and uncomfortable about being nude. But yeah, it's bad if you don't start trusting your partner.
ExitVanLeft
that's some serial killer shit
Bellatricks
THAT'S EXACTLY MY QUESTION! How do you even do you get your p in a v with undies in the way?!
phdinhorribleness
With the flap
kerms
Boxers. The picture incorrectly shows briefs which would obviously make it impossible.
Dreigiau
Most briefs (if not all) have this double layer deal in the front that can be pulled open, though its usually uncomfortable to use
Cuntard
If he wears bikini briefs, he could just pull them to the side
thetonestarr
I figure maybe he just droops 'em just far enough to whip it out sufficiently, then goes at it with them around his knees.
lIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI
uhh.. anyone with a half decent john can get him to Virginia ..
IbetterFedeliskSKIELSKPadarscoumbBABARND
May i show you?
Kingmeiwin
Not everybody wears whitey tighties
Bellatricks
Good point. But, still...that doesn't seem comfortable with boxers on for either party.
rocklobstr0
I've done it. Doesn't really make a difference either way.
Givemeabreak432
Well, you don't take them off to pee, right? Same concept, just take it over the top.
Tanishh
I've done it before. Was perfectly comfortable, actually. It doesn't inhibit either person at all.
Kingmeiwin
Agreed.
Sairvous
Cant really have sex with your underwear on.
ChickenVegetas
His second penis.
Usernamesarejustlabels
He has no penis
youreablizzardbarry
I actually prefer clothes on sex... I'm female though so not sure if that's different.
ElSenorFluffybutt
Sorry but i'm curious. How do you do that? Just pull your panties aside and leave the rest on?
MacTavishSon
Half-Life 3
Ravanna
an STD :/ Sorry May
FlatWoundSounds
I uh... have a friend- yeah, that's it- whose chubbiness sticks and slaps during sex without boxers on.
Stuebydoo
His vajayjay
IJumpInPuddles
he's a she
DerpKugel
Many of these are very legit - the mustard one made me cringe
BrightStarEm
3rd ball
UnspokenX
extreme self-confidence issues or possibly repressed trauma.
SheahThompson
The razor that he's really just wearing a strap on
Kingmeiwin
His confidence.
filthymansock
I actually dated a guy who'd never take his boxers off...it made sex so awkward, i felt like a hooker he didn't want to get naked with
thedarkcanuck
Turtle penis?
WanderingOnion
Not much
ArtVandelayTheArchitect
This is so George Castanza
altonbrowndeserveshisownmemefuckyouifyoudisagree
Daaaaang, Everyonesgrandmother. I bet you are real fine. PM me.
HunterThompsonsentmehere
Cantstandya!!!
ihavequestions
Oh yeah, well
NoIdidntsayAbeLincolnIsaidHeyBlinkin
"Helloooooo! La la laaaaa!!" Eyelid mole, probably
dontgoundertheboardwalk
Its a really funny voice
maxiboyfm3a
Its "Costanza" but yeah I totally agree.
JSmith90
She broke up w me after seeing my Johnson. I tried to tell her " I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!"
InboxMeYourBostonTerriers
There was significant shrinkage!
boredtotheextreme
Cooooostanza
BanesOnAPlane
http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6455119 "George" shows up in Shallow Hall
BanesOnAPlane
*Hal
GeorgieCostanza
You called?
BoxOfChunkyPuffs
"I once broke up with a guy for not offering me any pie"
hatlessspider
Were you a stickler for a tickler? Not a stickler for a tickler, not a stickler tickler. TICKLA STICKLA TICKLA STICKLA TICKLA STICKLA
TheDiabeticHeretic
I wish I could up vote all of these with one button. Thank you all.
TheAngryBang
She has man hands
CemestoLuxobarge
These were taken from an ask reddit post asking for your most George Costanza breakup reasons.
SgtEziosRequiem
Or Jerry.
TravisBickle13
there was an episode in which jerry breaks up with a girl because she eats her peas one at at time (but scoops corn)
mariaimgur
Oh that would have pissed Jerry off for sure
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
Yesssss
mariaimgur
Oh that would have pissed Jerry off for sure
Polluticorrn
She had man hands.
believeitornotimnothome
I agree.
openthedoorgetontheflooreverybodywalkthedinosaur
I met him. Super nice guy!
SundaysOnthePhonetoMonday
In fact I think these were taken from an Ask Reddit thread called "What is the most George Castanza reason you broke up with someone"
gbombuh
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2fk3y1/what_is_the_most_george_constanzaesque_reason_you
inuusha
I'll be damned... I thought of Seinfeld the whole time.
BetaTester112
Yap, wouldn't be surprised if someone saw that and decided it would make a good imgur post.
SendMeYourLameJokes
Pretty sure I'd break up with someone who constantly tried to get me to go by a different name.
dearmissally
I wouldn't be happy if they were calling me a more masculine name. I would have maybe gone by "Annie" or another variant.
clutchthepearls
Right? Antoinette isn't even a bad name! I think it's actually pretty attractive.
Snarkoleptic
It's perfectly normal in French, for once
to0oni
He didn't even use the correct spelling for Toni. Not that I'm personally offended or anything...
TexxasTerror
You just can't trust someone that pours the milk before the cereal.....ratios, people, think about it
somespazzoid
I didn't believe this one. Like, what are we 5? Who does that?
Soufriere
I've done it when very tired. Apparently doing it that way makes cereal not get soggy as quickly. Also, useful for calorie-counters.
SplatAndAThud
I thought this was illegal? What are the law makers wasting time on instead of prioritising this
1spodaspakers
I try to be cool and pour them at the same time but when I shake the cereal box I accidentally shake the milk too and it spills everywhere
ChristopherColumbus
I do it bc I need to know how much milk I use, I count calories and eye ball a cup
thetonestarr
When I still lived with my parents, I'd pour the milk first when eating a late-night bowl so as to not make noise while pouring.
SweetSigns1787
This is the only acceptable time/reason.
glowblueglobalglobule
............ That's actually.....I hate to say it..... Quite clever.
[deleted]
[deleted]
calldrdaley
calldrdaley
TheChandrian
I fill it with milk first then put small amounts of cereal in 6 or 7 times. Never any soggy.
dontmindthescreaming
Exactly.
CursedWing
This.
TowelRod
This!!
whatintheactual
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
StuckInBetweeen
As an untrustworthy person who does this, spot on.
psnivy
I dunno...sometimes when I pour the milk onto Frosted Flakes, the milk splashes everywhere :s
tinyfootprints
I always put milk in my coffee mug before coffee. Good mix, and I never need to stir. One less spoon to wash.
bingotown
IF THE CEREAL FLOATS, THEN MILK FIRST. IF IT SINKS, THEN CEREAL FIRST. COME TO ME. KNOW THE WAY OF TRUTH.
siler7
It's an indication of extremely poor decision making.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
It's almost as bad as putting the milk in first when making a cup of tea.
fishnugget1
That's how they teach you to do it in finishing school
Soufriere
You actually ARE supposed to do that. It keeps the milk from scalding.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
No you aren't supposed to when using tea bags.
aprendemos
My chem prof said to always add milk before coffee; when combined in this order, some molecular phenomenon thoroughly mixes the 2 liquids.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
You know what else thoroughly mixes them? Stirring. Plus it doesn't matter with coffee because you aren't brewing in the cup like teabags.
LittleJotun
Almost right, it's the even warming that makes the difference in taste. But on the other hand he was wrong, milk in coffee is a sin.
CoconutCyclone
I use a tea pot because I'm not some sort of low born. We pour our milk into our cups while the tea is brewing so it will warm. Damn plebs.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
Well if you're using a tea pot then you're still putting the hot water and tea leaves together first, like I said was the right way to do it
CoconutCyclone
Sorry but I'm not. I pour the milk into the cups while the water is boiling, so it's not significantly reducing the tea's temperature.
ThisIsTheEighthUsernameIveTried
How much milk are you using to significantly cool down boiling water? Also, are the tea leaves mixing with water or milk first?
CwmMakesPeopleCryInScrabble
It's the best way to get perfect milk/cereal ratio, man.
RaptorFreeWorkplace
Chewing with the mouth open and smacking lips drives me crazy. I wouldnt be able to stand it. Didnt you ever learn table manners?!
sausageseeker
I had a friend who did this, I used to pick noisy tables to cover it up. Then she turned into a crazy B & I stopped covering up for her.
TheQUARRYTheBOULDERSLesserKnownFather
I did learn, however my nose didn't. I think my adenoids are fucked and I've been trying to get them removed. Sorry.
SwiftMustacheMan
Your case is alright. We're talking about normal healthy people who just do it by habit.
dearmissally
I'm super asthmatic and have to eat with my mouth open. I'm constantly paranoid but I have to or else I won't get enough air. :'(
Soufriere
Sorry, dude. I'm not asthmatic but I have trouble breathing through my nose. My GF gets onto me sometimes for loud eating.
dearmissally
I've had complete strangers glare at me. It's so embarrassing.
ZealotOfRovagug
SOMEBODY TALKING SHIT ABOUT JORTS?! http://imgur.com/rStk5nJ
Austria
Thought for sure it said "autism"
MMPRMastodon
WHUT?
eromitlab
WHAT?
TaintedGENE
BlueStringsAttached
I'm on mobile and can't add this to my favorites!
Saralive17
WHAT?
ImFunnierThanYallGiveMeCreditFor
How is there no Bob Weir in this thread? https://thecommentboxblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/19840703_1870.jpg
KillerTofu615
They're fucking jean shorts, this 'jorts' bullshit has to go. They've been around since jeans were invented, and are perfectly fine to wear
lemonbalm
SHANTS
Hexalan
at first, i thought the vest said "autism"
AngelsinmyMouthfield
Oh fuck, did I just hear the sound of glass breaking!?
wheresthebaby
You just took my back. I knew exactly what you meant. +1
lolsy
Everyone must see Stone Cold ET https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMmAsqtGRmk
somebodyelseduh
Gimme a big Hell Yeah!
tydamann58
Kappagaro
Disappointed in the lack of Tobias bluth in this comment thread
34DD
Mandatory.
arandompenguin
eromitlab
STONE COLD! STONE COLD! BAH GAWD IT'S STONE COLD!
PsychopompGecko
HE'S A HUMAN BEING GAWDDAMMIT!
Impossibrew
STONE COLD STUNNER ONE MORE TIME BAH GAWD KING.
lavonte33
I love you guys.
FrellingFarbot
BAH GAWD KING, AUSTIN TOOK A CHAIR RIGHT TO THE HEAD! SOMEONE STOP THE DAYUM MATCH!
usuallurker
I'm from Australia and its perfectly acceptable for guys to wear these, fashionable even.
KillerTofu615
It's perfectly acceptable for guys to wear them anywhere. This "jorts" bullshit popped out of nowhere. They're jean shorts.
Rengii
There are dozens of us!
rigoletto
DOZENS!!!!!!!!!!
Fredsgotslacks
Literally dozens !! At least it's the only one of these fouls I'm guilty of committing
TheUnapologeticCanadian
Today I realized it is only okay for wrestlers to wear jorts.
SweatySwami
Nah fuck that, don't let internet people tell you what to do.
Tincanister
Screw that my jorts are the best shorts i have, tough and can do anything in them
TheBaconTrainChewChew
Jorts are the shit in Scandinavia. Way more fashionable than those fugly board shorts guys wear in other countries.
PCthug
Canadian here. Seriously what else am I supposed to wear? I'm not wearing board shorts like the rest of the douchebros, I'm not wearing 1/
PCthug
cargos for the same reason I' don't wear aviators (it's not 2004?), I'm not wearing khakis because my mom doesn't dress me and I'm not a 2/
PCthug
substitute math teacher. I want to wear shorts that look good with most things, fit fairly slim and don't make me look like I'm 3/
PCthug
attending an elderly relative's birthday picnic later. I wear cut off jeans, folded twice, slightly above the knee.
TheBaconTrainChewChew
Haha, you're describing it perfectly! Sitting in a pair, folded twice, above the knee, right now ;)
TheTrueDreadPirateRoberts
There's another famous wrestler who wears jorts... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA *bum ba-dum bahhh*
ChloePrice
SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPERSLAAAAAM
silentjay
But no one can see him. Its a shame.
MykillMetal
http://imgur.com/GCVHFVL
papasmurf1118
Uh Excuse me are you a supporter of the United States Marine Corps?
ChipSkylar
Yes, but who is "Champ?"
TastyTastyScience
That's great, because a former decorated marine needs your support!
papasmurf1118
And his name iiiiiiisssssss JOHHHNNNN CEEENNNAAA
linkinstreet
Wait, how do you pronounce Salmon? As a non native english speaker I thought the L is not silent?
Lueisanartist
Pronouncing the L is the worst of them all, I think. Every time I hear it, I'm upset by the state of the world.
eheheh
Canadian here and we pronounce it sam-in
natashaexplosion
Most Americans pronounce it "Sam-in".
RegalMoon
Generally in my area, it's "salmon" the fish but "sah-mon" the color, so I was just as confused by that as you.
Soufriere
The L is silent. Here in the US, we pronounce it "Sam-un", and that doesn't seem to change by region like other words can.
Snaitf
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/pronunciation/british/salmon
PumpkinMasher
I wonder if it was just once or not. For example I know how to pronounce Illinois, but I still say Illi-noise on occasion just because.
HardonfortheAardvark
Upstate NYer here... we have the Salmon (Sal-mon) Run Mall and the Salmon (Sal-mon) Run River.
arjan2
Yup,similar to Sa'man Rushdie
linkinstreet
I'm not sure about that. if it's Salman (سلمان), the L is not silent.
arjan2
(it was a joke)
linkinstreet
I am sorry. It went over my head. :<
BachelorGourmet
Sam-un
Cuntard
Some pronounce the L, many don't.
Soufriere
I pronounce the L if it's the crayon color, but never when I'm talking about the fish. I think the distinction is important.
wildgreenyonder
L is silent, pronounced 'sam-on' (UK English speaker here)
ElSenorFluffybutt
Dutch/german speaker here; When the fuck did that happen?
Heroasteral
Danish person here... What the fuck guys
idiotn00b
hyou're hthe hone hto htalk
Heroasteral
hoh hpiss hoff hmate
BigAndChunkyDane
As another danish person; you didn't know that?
Heroasteral
Keine Ahnung
Nehpets420
Best friend died, and when I was still occationally crying after a month, she said I was being selfish
[deleted]
[deleted]
guminski
The best people are the ones that do things for selfish reasons. Like helping someone else because it makes you feel good and nothing else
thatsmynametoo
No. She was being selfish. You cry about that as long as you want.
ColonelPrestonGarvey
A-fucking-men
CaptainLogopolis
Sorry for your lost
ImQuiteContrary
my boyfriend asked me how long it was going to be until I was "over it."
CaptSlowShow
I hope you're referring to your ex boyfriend.
ImQuiteContrary
yes, he definitely became an ex. You learn a lot about someone by seeing how they deal with crisis.
Nehpets420
That is absolutely true
corrosivefemale
Did you two end up breaking up?
gutclusters
I said this to an ex-gf who used that her mother died to explain her social issues. Her mom died 5 years before I met her. Am I an asshole?
considerthis
I think that depends on the circumstances of the death and the social issues
gutclusters
She died of a brain aneurysm and the social issues were attachment issues. Example; she never wanted to make love.
considerthis
I don't think you're an asshole for that, that's a significant issue for the relationship and 5 years is an ongoing problem
MisterAnderson
Can I get her address so I can poop on top of her bed while holding eye contact the entire time?
Kaitou
Man, I spent at least 5 seconds trying to figure out where there was an "I" (i) in Salmon.
Eowyneb
I spanish you say the L so that post bother me! She was just saying it in another lenguage jerk
ContagiousPersnapal
Same! I had finally settled on salimon before I realized.
Muffyns
saladman
JayStray
Bruhhhh me too
AskingTheRealQuestions
But seriously though do you not pronounce the "L" in "Salmon"? Doesn't make sense!
Soufriere
I don't pronounce it for the fish (who does that?); I do pronounce it for the crayon color.
AskingTheRealQuestions
That's even weirder! Why would you pronounce it differently, it's the same word!
Dawnstempest
We don't on the East Coast it's called sa-mon, but with a rising a. We don't say Sal-mon.
battery1979
depends on your English speaking country of origin and or region?
Nepeta33
some do, most dont. i dont see it as a major thing..\
SirSickNasty
Got silent treatment for mentioning that it was the 1st anniversary of my mother's suicide.
ThisIsNotCheddar
I am so sorry to hear that. You deserved a friend at that painful moment, not someone else's selfish attitude. My sympathies.
SirSickNasty
Thanks, wasn't even the worse thing she did. But I got all the friends in the break up, so I'm pretty happy!
ThisIsNotCheddar
Good to hear. All my best. Hang in there, like the cat in the picture (google "hang in there cat").
SirDaemos
I had a friend die in 2008 and I still cry about it sometimes.
soareyouchineseorjapanese
Gpa died. 4 days later she told me I can't hold on to my mommy forever (after I canceled our plans to be with my mother) .want more details?
BlueBomber05
At this point you're starting to look bad for ever dating her
soareyouchineseorjapanese
I know. I realized I can't be with someone like that. It's just hard when you love someone so much. She wasn't ALWAYS that bad. But yeah...
englishaccentnotbritish
One of my oldest friends suddenly died a few months ago. The random greif is overwhelming. She has no idea how nasty saying youre selfish is
Sadmaru
No offence to anybody except her but what a fucking cunt.
FaultyStarsNoConstellations
My Best friend had a heart attack in front of me and died - 3 weeks after, friend of mine Said "you are getting over it by now, right?"
imgurisfornerds
In this case, it could only be a way to ask how you are doing, if you need more time or are over it, and there isn't 36 ways to ask that.
Nepeta33
i agree with your point, but even i know there are better ways of asking. "you feeling ok dude?" is the most obvious...
imgurisfornerds
I agree too, this wasn't the best kind of way to ask ^^ I just hope you didn't hold it against him :)
Sevaceri
Fuck. that! if my best friend die pretty sure i wouldn't be able to stop crying.
TheN0whereMan
I'm sorry for your lost
KatWoman
Can We sign her up for cat facts?
FromDenmarkWithHate
One of my friend experienced that, but it was his father that died.
tanadarko
Now THAT is a reason to dump somebody. You dumping her.
pongau11
This - exactly this - happened to me as well. I was asked why I was crying and when I answered, she said "...still?"
OdongoAtama
I met my now ex a few months after my brother passed away. Once we dated he told me I was using my brother's death as an excuse to be sad.
Loribob
my best friend died when I was in my final year of college, I was so upset & my brother told me to "just get over it and do my work" :(
theretheyretheir
Well if she pronounced it "shellfish" then you should've left her a long time ago
Hairwaxwax
Apalone! You're just being shellfish!
Nepeta33
my sister refused to go to the funeral of her husbands mother (husband of less than a week) and made him drive back to mass instead.
Nepeta33
that, is selfish. crying for a month? thats just healing.
NewCreatures
Drive back to mass? Like, church or Massachusetts? And why shouldn't he drive himself?
Nepeta33
the state. no, she forced him to drive her back home because there was only one car. instead of going to his mothers funeral
ITalkAboutGoats
Sounds like your Christmases are fun
AuBoss
Yea that bitch needs to be gone. Am betting you knew your best friend a lot longer than her.
Dirtyconformist
What a BITCH!
MersopolisII
Perhaps she was jealous of the attention your friend was getting compared to her?
DevilDog2258
I'd have been more worried Jodie would get her.
JayStray
Can I get her address so I can poop under her bed?
idoknowwhatcakedaymeansnow
Hello poop bandit.
thetonestarr
or on her bed, while she sleeps in it
sonicpet
And afterwards you shall piss on the poop for the best effect.
thejollymolly
Maintain eye contact to establish dominance.
YourMemeSucksHarderThanaDyson
kinky
TicoMachi
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/64/45/45/644545baa273f5879299da84e537e47a.gif
shinycheetobag
Why not both? :)
thetonestarr
She may just assume the lingering stench is from contamination & not realize it's from a 2nd deposit til after replacing bedding. Brilliant!
roflatyournonsense
nope pillowcase is better.
Daevin
Other commenters aren't realizing that under the bed will stink up the joint, but won't be found as easily. Good call, sir or madam.
Randomcomma
For best results one should do both. After cleaning the bed it will take time to notice it's not just the leftover smell haunting them.
Daevin
I like the way you scheme.
CoffeeAndCigarette
Just for good measure, poop in her shoes too.
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
I would just steal her antique framed photos of her family.
JayStray
WHATS NEW PUSSY CAT WHOA WHOA WHOA
NeverNonplussed
...because you can't replace that shit...
KateLappan
Poop under??? No no no. You're doing it all wrong. On top my sir.
bushidopirate
no no no. In her mouth while she's sleeping, my sir.
KateLappan
Yeeeessss. -.- mush aha
AngeIa
Dad dying of terminal cancer, he told me my crying was "annoying". (So much for sweet 16 puppy love!)
Hairwaxwax
I am sorry he said that to you. I t is possible that
AngeIa
Haha see my long reply chain above... Thanks for replying with support, it's amazingly kind to reach out to comfort a total stranger. Xo. :)
Hairwaxwax
...being sick has diminished him emotionally.
AngeIa
Sorry that wasn't clear; my BOYFRIEND said my crying was annoying, hence breakup. Not my Dad, he was an amazing loving parent. I never (1/2)
Kelebek
Mourning is an act of selfishness, so she's right.
NewCreatures
It is, actually. In school we are taught that there are healthy acts of selfishness we must allow ourselves to take part in, such as 1/2
NewCreatures
Mourning, taking time for yourself, acts of self-care, ending unhealthy relationships for your own sake, etc.
PlayfullyAlcoholic
What kind of monster says Creme Rinse?
crystal8569
My mom....
shesaidgoodbyetotheground
Same, I always figured it was just a dated term for what we call conditioner
onecupshort
I've literally never said the word conditioner in reference to this.
NurseCAT
I laughed so hard when I read that. I may start calling it that now.
Markaltuskonis
Chaz Dean.
igotausernamejusttotellyou
Is it an older generation or certain areas of Minnesota thing maybe? I've heard it multiple times. Although, my roomie hasn't.
emfab
I'm from Indiana and we used to call it this all the time when I was a kid.
Soufriere
Is that like a European thing? Or maybe New England? I don't think I've ever heard that term before.
priestsaresotouchy
I think thats a Canadian thing, maybe. Not sure. My wife says that and shes from America's hat.
GirlX
As a Canadian, I call it conditioner and have never heard anyone call it creme rinse.
priestsaresotouchy
Shows what I know. I tell her a lot she's a mutant. Must be that.
GirlX
Haha. It's okay she's probably used to it. My american boyfriend and his buddies are unrelenting about my accent and pronunciations.
shewalksthenight
As another Canadian, can confirm. Calling it creme rinse makes you sound like an asshole.
warick
I have absolutely no evidence for this, but it sounds like something a European would say.
Soufriere
Yeah I thought that too, since Brits say "salad cream" where we say "dressing". Evidently we are wrong.
Snarkoleptic
Nowhere in Europe. And if you were thinking of the British Isles, nowhere there either.
killerklixx
As a western European, never heard of it!
melodramaticbat
Sounds more like something a pretentious American would say thinking wrongly it's something a European would say.
warick
*pretentious asshole American
JuggNuttz
Antennaehead
It's cute when my 9 mo old says 'nom' while she eats. In an adult, not so much.
kittykat
My office-mate makes so many sounds while eating, from chewing to loud moans & exclamations, and eats at her desk a lot. I want to beat her.
McKavian
The guy next to me at work does this, too. He slurps a lifesaver. *shudders*
GreaterDog
Totally normal and actually being polite/complimenting the chef in many Asian countries. Isn't it funny?
TheQUARRYTheBOULDERSLesserKnownFather
I do this. I can't help it, I need to have my adenoids out but I've been on a list for 2 years. I either snort, eeat with mouth open or 1/2
TheQUARRYTheBOULDERSLesserKnownFather
2/2 Hold my breath. I am aware of it, it sucks and I feel bad when eating around others or in public.
Snoweh
I have a friend who does this. It's so unfortunate because she's a great friend otherwise but the eating... THE EATING. D:
buffOrpington
Roommate was eating soup six kinds of loud + four kinds of weird, and suddenly, I began laughing. Laughed until I realized he was offended.
Ezzybells
My mum's ex who I hated had a jaw issue where it would click when he chewed. And he slurped his soup deliberately. So glad they broke up!!!
ItsSneakyAdolf
You smack your lips, I smack your face
goodiecornbread
You smack your lips, I smack your lips*
LadyNoHeart
I seriously think murderous thoughts when people eat like that.
motittiesmoproblems
Ugh whenever my hubby starts to make noises or chew with his mouth open I tell him to stop. Some people don't realize they're doing it
TheMonsterWithinYou
My deaf sister does this. She doesn't realize how loud she eats. >_<
ChangedMyName
I used to asked me old roommate if he was raised in a barn. He eventually kept his mouth closed while eating.
hereforcake
I ask them if their food tastes better with their mouth open.
JalapenoBaguette
Is no one going to complain about the use of the word "hubby" here?
muffins4
No, because it's a perfectly legitimate pet name.
motittiesmoproblems
Honestly I started typing husband and missed the s so it autocorrected to hubby. Didn't notice til I hit enter
Alavar
I dont call my wife "wifey", I call her you know.....that thing.
IAmNotASkeleton
Butt-buddy?
TownsendV228
spank-mate
Melman4
My boyfriend doesn't, but his entire fucking family does. Christmas dinner almost turns into a massacre every year.
Imadethistoreceivenudes
My sister makes noises like these. She sounds like someone is eating her out under the table when I come over for breakfast. Fuckin' weird
TownsendV228
"she sounds like someone eating her out under the table when I came over for breakfast"
v
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
Not as weird as that simile
StuckInBetweeen
That... that's a weird ass analogy to make about your sister.
Imadethistoreceivenudes
But it's true though, and that's what makes it so bad
MoleGrips
My mother in law does the same thing. Do you realise the self control it takes. She doesn't say 'nom' though, she says 'nummy'. Rrrrrrrrrrrr
amateurgnome
https://youtu.be/kBjfLE5uX0A
helloistaken
Yay I'm not the only one that has violent thoughts when people do this.
ImFullyTorquedRightNow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBjfLE5uX0A
Askeih
yes, yes, and yes
pancakeisi
Chinese ppl eat like that. Almost all of em. Nightmare
BoredomCries
It's a culture thing..shows appreciation of the food.
pancakeisi
Man it looks disgisting tho.
killerninjao1o
I hate hearing people eat. Some people even make noise when they are eating with a closed mouth. I don't associate with those people.
mdkynyc
Ugh I can hear the nail on chalkboards going. Never will I allow that in my house
ucantsay
With a shovel.
DirtyLittleBirdyFeet
i work in a shop that sells perfume, lotion etc, its the same thing with the sounds, "mmm, ooohh that feels/smells so goood, mmmm oh my god"
zeniarose
That one is like my biggest pet peeve ever. I hate the sound of people eating. :C
Typohime
I only make noises when I eat if I'm offering to share or with a small child who won't try a little but needs to try a little.
morrissimo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia
MrStealUrMeme
Thank you! Saved a Google search I told myself I was def going to look up, but prob wouldn't.
hwatL4bloopy
I may murder my roommate. She does this with water too
KIWIIGT
I know a guy that chews his finger nails, a lot... A LOT. I made the mistake of sitting next to him in class one day. Holy crap... /1
ilikepuppyposts
Everyone who replied your comment are my best friends now!
ITalkAboutGoats
but we're not posting about puppies
Howfuckinghardisittofindanorginalusernameinthisbitch
I do a happy wiggle if I'm eating something good but I don't make noise or chew with my mouth open.
buttermyarse
That's sweet
PuppiesGoMeow
Everyday when someone eats anything this happens. My aunts are all filipino and they even talk loud w their mouths full.
chefkait
Eating noises are my nails on a chalkboard. I get nauseas or incredibly angry when people make sounds as they eat. *cringe*
drbabaloo
I cant even stand being able to hear myself chew as quietly as i can.
TerritorialRotbart
I thought I was always weird for being this same exact way. Even on the rare occasion that I make a slight noise while eating, I cringe.
pinkfuzzybunny
Same. It's a big reason why I HAVE to live alone.
dlh2079
My roommate is the loudest closed mouth chewer I've ever been around. And he likes the crispiest snacks possible
CantCatchForShit
Its the only thing that makes me literally go into a silent rage when people chew loudly and i have to contain myself. UGH.
chefkait
The worst was when my coworkers would bring in baby carrots in their lunches.
CantCatchForShit
Gum is a terrible one because they last so long.
hereforcake
Naturally noisy foods I can understand, but adding extra noises WHILE asking others to chew with their mouth shut is the recipe for my rage.
kilolover7777
My wife does this. So if we're eating near to each other at home, I have to turn on the TV or music to drown it out.
imgurisfornerds
If she's your WIFE, you should tell her. You can't live like that... -_-'
kilolover7777
I've brought it up. Whenever I do she stops but she'll forget. And I'd rather put on music then make her feel embarrassed all the time.
imgurisfornerds
True, I can understand that, but still, you must really like her ^^
FlappyRemote
Start a club? Our own society? One where making noises while eating is forbidden and punishable? And the only crime that has death penalty
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
Misophonia buddy.
piratica108
It's so common that I feel like it should be integrated more thoroughly into our education system. "How not to chew like a dumb ape."
chefkait
Yeah and my boyfriend loves chewing ice. Agh.
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
What!? Why? Better than popping gum though.
chefkait
Ew. That makes me cringe so hard
buttsnbuttsnbuttsnbutts
Nothing is as bad as LOUD BREATHING HOLY FUCK HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THAT
PandraPierva
Allergies make it so I'm stuck breathing like that...really fucking sucks
babawanyika
Thank you. I just learned that me being irrationally irritated by some sounds is an actual thing. Doesn't help me fix it though....
phenomanII
I looked up ways to make it easier to live with. Either focus on something else for the whole meal or wear ear protection.
Cryotechnic
Can't do that for people like me, though, who can't stand the sound of breathing. I'm in college, with tons of people in every class. Sucks.
Goatinacoatfloatingonaboat
Same here. And my whole family and coworkers all do it! Hooray! D:
chefkait
The worst was when my coworkers would bring in baby carrots in their lunches.
Ifellthroughthefourthwall
in middle school I was required to sit near the world's loudest chewer, and people would give him apples to annoy me.
theIdris
My mom does that and it's the thing I hate the most about her. I love her, she's my mom, but Jesus Christ she can crunch fucking ice cream.
peridotite
My mom was crunching and slurping on an apple while nagging at me. I had to fight the urge to reach out and slap her.
theIdris
Mine likes to wait until I'm deep into a show or movie and come over to eat her dinner with me. It's maddening.